Could someone please grade my SAT essay out of 12 and explain why they gave the score

Test Preparation
1

<p>"i never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may---light, shade, and perspective will always make it beautiful." --John Constable </p>

<p>"If there is one thing worse than being an ugly duckling in a house of swans, it's having the swans pretend there's no difference." --Teena Booth</p>

<p>ASSIGNMENT: Is it true that there are no ugly things? </p>

<p>Ugliness is subjective just as beauty. To call something ugly is to question your fundamental perception. As humans there is a varied range of things we find pleasing. As for me I find the city of New York to be an absolutely beautiful mystical urban wonderland.
Like Alice, I drop down the escalators to the subway and am transported to a world of its own. Instanteously—fashion, behavior, mood, color, life, expression all change. The middle aged women with their worn out Nikes and loose sweats are replaced by glamorous young women perched high on their stilettos. Buildings reach for the heavens. Cars and people color the streets. The smell of roasted peanut fills the air.; --It’s breathtaking and beautiful! (But my father doesn’t agree)
To him New York City’s an over populated cest pool. He lived there in his 20’s and claims it was and still is a cest pool of thugs that want to take an arm and leg for a bottle of water. The rare occasions we drive into New York City he will be found complaining about the traffic every stop light and criticizing the driving skills of other drivers and the walking skills of the pedestrians. It irks him each moment he is there- His bald forehead can be found glistening with sweat from his agitation. I however sit in enthrallment and excitement by everything around us.
As you can see, there are no ugly things but only people with perceptions of ugliness. John Constable once said “I never saw an ugly thing in my life: for let the form of an object be what it may---light, shade, and perspective will always make it beautiful.”</p>

2

<p>I would probably give you a 5. First off, you have no clear thesis in your introduction, and thus your supporting paragraphs aren’t proving much. Your sentences are phrased awkwardly, and give your essay no organization. Even your descriptions lack continuity; you describe descending into the subway but then mention buildings reaching for the heavens? Try not to reuse a word in two consecutive sentences as you do with “cest pool” (misspelled, proper spelling is cesspool). Don’t try to color your essay with descriptive phrases, it’s annoying and doesn’t bring much to the essay.</p>

<p>To improve, you should first come up with a straightforward thesis that answers the question, citing two or three examples. Your body paragraphs should further prove your thesis with these examples, showing why your thesis is correct. You should also watch your grammar, especially noun/verb agreement, tense agreement, and try to avoid sentence fragments.</p>

<p>I see what you’re trying to get across, but you don’t make a point and prove it, which is the purpose of an essay.</p>

3

<p>I’d give it the range of a 4-6. Like the poster above me said, there is no thesis. If there is, I didn’t quite catch it. Your syntax is also really awkward and you don’t analyze your position past one or two examples.</p>