Can someone grade/comment on my essay please?

<p>This is my essay..It's not that great but this is only my 2nd try..I managed to finish it this time :-D</p>

<p>This is the topic: Do you believe that fantasy or imagination is more important than knowledge? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue.</p>

<p>My essay:
Many people have believed in the roles pantasy play in one's search for knowldge. They say that without the ability to imagine one's situation, one would not be abe to interpret and overcome it. I believe this is true in many ways. Two contrasting examples would be my brother and me.</p>

<p>My brother is a very intelligent artist who takes time in his life to explore the foundations of art that the society is built upon today. He seems to be able to store an epitome of information, but however, his lack of imagination and creativy has impeded him from unleashing his true potential. In order to become an artist, one must have the ablity to imagine the "realm" of the piece he or she is creating. One must then subdue oneself solely to the prospect of creating his or her piece in order for it to be successful and embraced by the aesthetic communty. However, my brother did not submerge himself fully in his piece and resulted with a merely decent portrait.</p>

<p>On the other hand, I have been "blessed" with the gift of imagination and fantasy that has helped me throughout school. I am not a very visual person but I can imagine an instance where a math problem might take place. For example when dealing with integers, I woul mentally imagine great things happening to "good" and "bad" people. If a good thing happened to a good person (a positive number was added to any number), the result was good (the resulting number increased). However, if a "good" thing happened to a bad person (adding a negative number), the result was bad (the resulting number diminished). These mental visualizations always came in handy when I was having trouble finding inspiration to solve any type of problem.</p>

<p>Overall, I believe imagination plays a large role in one's path to academic (or aesthetic) success. When one lacks the ability to fantasize, one may experience excessive difficulties at grasping the solution which he or she hoped to obtain. Imagination not only gives one the ability to question, it gives one the ability to solve.</p>

<p>Grades/comments would be greatly appreciated .. I definitely need them!</p>

<p>probably 4/6. your misuse of the words epitome and subdue as well as a few awkward possessives detract from your essay. for example "One must then subdue oneself solely to the prospect of creating his or her piece in order for it to be successful and embraced by the aesthetic communty." this sentence doesn't really make sense. on the content side, your examples are decent but could have been better developed. in the future, focus on improving the quality of your writing to get a better score. good luck</p>

<p>I can't be sure about the grade but i'll give it a 9 (4 and 5).
The examples you used were good but i think that you need to work on them a little.</p>