<p>Instead of most people who ask CCers to rate their SAT essay, I will post one of my SAT Essays that was already graded. I will not tell you my grade because I want an unbiased opinion. I want to see how accurate some of you are in your SAT Essay reading, or even essay reading in general. Here it is:</p>
<p>"United we stand, divided we fall" may be a cliché, but it is quite relevant when it comes to cooperation. I feel that in order to succeed, one must learn to work with others, especially when there is a common goal involved. Ken Kesey's One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest and the Sobibor Revolt serve as perfect examples of this sentiment.</p>
<p>In One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, a group of institutionalized mental patients are harshly ruled by the ward's leader, Nuse Ratched. Even the most daring, courageous patient, Randle McMurphy fails to overthrow "The Big Nurse." However, when McMurphy is permanently brain damaged via lobotomy, his cohorts unite as one. Eventually, they all leave in search of the better life and freedom they never had. Nurse Ratched and her staff had suppressed the revolts of one patient before, but were powerless to stop the entire ward when they banded together and left. This would have never happened if the patients hadn't became a team and coopertaed with each other.</p>
<p>The Sobibor revolt renders a historical example to support the thesis. Sobibor was a Nazi concentration camp that held thousands of Jewish people captive. Certain prisoners had tried to escape before, but their efforts were in vain. However, the prisoners of Sobibor came to the realization that each person by his or herself stood no chance against the Nazi guards. United though, they could escape because they greatly outnumbered the Nazis. Eventually, the prisoners set aside their differences and revolted together. They ultimately escaped to their long awaited freedom.</p>
<p>In closing, it is evident that cooperation is the way to success. Both literature and history support this.</p>
<p>What grade would you give this essay out of 12? Is that what the CB gave me?</p>
<p>8: you lack passion. Your argument is not coherent; they sound like something random you pulled out in a few seconds. </p>
<p>Your tone is also inconsistent; at first you sound like you're talking to a friend, but then you use words that you would never ordinarily say. render? sentiment? </p>
<p>Your two-sentence conclusion also shows that you don't care about the subject and only want to fulfill the minimum requirement. </p>
<p>However, your thesis is clearly stated and your examples are appropriate. Well done for a 25 minute essay. </p>
<p>The SAT uses 2 graders; each grades on a 1-6 scale. If both give you a 6 you get a 12. If one gives you a 6 and another gives you a 5 you get an 11. So an odd number means the graders differed in their opinon of your essay.</p>
<p>I'd give you a 4. Too short, I think. More detail needed. Sentences and vocab not bad though. I don't know what the actual ruberic used to grade these are. Is that information published anywhere?</p>
<p>I'd give this a 9 at least, more leaning towards a 10.</p>
<p>The words are clear and to the point. I'm convinced by her pure logic and the forcefulness of her words. It's rational and well thought out. Throughout the essay, she displays her argument through carefully chosen vocabulary that fits with the flow of the passage.</p>
<p>The only problem I have is with the concluding statement which loses some points. It's too short and too obvious a summary. Instead of a powerful final push, it ultimately loses all momentum and plummets. A lack of time, perhaps? Anyhow, the third paragraph could also have been introduced better.</p>
<p>The writer obviously developed her point and showed masterful command of the language. That warrants at least a 5.</p>
<p>...then again, I'm not much of a CB grader. Prone to personal and stylistic bias, I suppose.
And as for the essay being too short, I believe 4 paragraphs is the standard format (among SAT prep organizations, anyhow). Another strong sentence or so would have made it a 10.</p>