<p>Good Afternoon Mrs. Emerson, faculty and staff, family and of course the graduating class of 2011. I would first off like to thank all of you for coming out this afternoon and celebrating the commencement of our graduates. I would also personally like to congratulate each graduate seated in front of me for putting up with and surmounting all the challenges that had been thwarted upon them over these past four years. And finally I would like to thank our tremendous teachers at this campus, for they have given us the tools that we need to precede into the next step of our lives.</p>
<p>My fellow graduates I stand before you humbled, to have been given such an accolade. Because of this I have been given the opportunity to reflect back upon our time spent at El Capitan. Sadly I have no compelling or inspirational stories to share to you because I have yet to go out and experience what life has to offer. So instead of telling a story I am going to tell you about what I have learned through my observations of life during my time at El Capitan. </p>
<p>As always when I am trying to look for inspiration I am drawn to the beach. It was here where I realized what I wanted to tell you all. I sat on the sand and looked out onto the horizon. Looking at the waves glimmer in the sun and then come crashing to shore. It was then there that I realized our journey through high school has been just the same as the water in the ocean. We all desire to one day be at peaceful, like the sea on a calm day, and have nothing to worry about. But to get there, we first must struggle and build ourselves up. For me we are like individual waves, growing and be sculpted by the ideas and philosophies of our peers and parents. We think that we are all always right and mighty just like a large wave, but we soon must all come back to realization that we are not greater than anyone else. So we crash and collide and find ourselves beat up against the rocks or washed up on shore without hope, feeling that we are all lost. But we are not lost. The current, or education that we have garnered from our time at El Capitan pulls us back out to the tranquil sea, back to peace and away from our sorrows. </p>
<p>Our time at El Capitan high school has been filled with mixed emotions. We have all experienced and gone through events that we would have never imagined to have experienced. But it is our ability to surmount these obstacles that show who we truly are. During our sophomore year we witnessed the passing of Christian Stover, a friend to us all. Though my words may seem clich</p>
<p>I don’t understand the part “personally I believe the number of heart beats is finite.” it’s a great idea, but that should reworded…I mean saying that could invoke implications of u being an atheist (which could anger some), or just make u sound kinda silly…after life or not, our hearts beat finitely. That is common knowledge. </p>
<p>I think it’s a good speech but I sort of get annoyed when there’s nothing funny or no jokes. I think more people will remember your speech if you include things that most if not all will remember. Unite lol. Say something like, “Freshman year we were lost and confused sophomore year we got it junior year we built it and senior year we are united blah blah together yah yah” </p>
<p>"Personally I believe that our number of heartbeats is finite and I plan on not wasting any of them. I will go out and endear everything that life has to offer. I do not want to live out the rest of my life with any regrets. " You talk about OUR heartbeats and then you go on talking about yourself… lol nothing wrong here but i think it would sound more exclusive and including if you say WE plan on not… WE will go out… WE do not want to live… =]</p>
<p>“that had been thwarted upon”
I don’t think thwarted is the correct word. Did you mean thrust?</p>
<p>“to precede” should actually be “to proceed”</p>
<p>" Because of this" - because of what? the accolade?<br>
How about, because of this opportunity, I have reflected upon our time spent…</p>
<p>“It was here where I realized”: you are not at the beach at the time of the speech so maybe- “it was THERE I realized”</p>
<p>“[It was then there that] I realized our journey through high school has been just the same as the water in the ocean.” (delete text in brackets?)</p>
<p>We all desire to one day be at PEACE (not peaceful)</p>
<p>"growing and beING sculpted by the ideas and philosophies "</p>
<p>“will do nothing to consolidate for the grief many of you have felt” ?
I think you might mean: will do nothing to console the grief many of you have felt </p>
<p>"the experience is that we endear : endure not endear? </p>
<p>“the possibility to error” the verb is “err” not “error”</p>
<p>Don’t let the opinions of others drown out you inner believes (beliefs not believes)</p>
<p>Because of this opportunity I have reflected back upon our time spent at El Capitan. Sadly, I am a rather boring person and nothing interesting has happened to me so I have no compelling or inspirational stories to share to you </p>
<p>I would first off like to thank all of you for coming out this afternoon and celebrating the commencement of our graduates, otherwise I would feel akward up here alone. Oh well it wouldn’t have been the first time ive talked to myself</p>
<p>^Nah, don’t change it like that. The speech is great, apart from some minor grammar issues, which likely won’t even be noticeable in verbal form. But don’t force the humor. If you think of something that flows easily, include it. Otherwise, no big deal. You have a lot of great things to say, and humor that isn’t tactfully done might take away from that. No humor is a lot better than forced humor. And, your speech definitely isn’t lacking anything as it is.</p>
<p>EDIT: By like that, I was referring to the “boring” addition and etc. in an earlier post, not ByWhichThis’s advice.</p>
<p>“Because of this opportunity I have reflected back upon our time spent at El Capitan. Sadly, I am a rather boring person and nothing interesting has happened to me so I have no compelling or inspirational stories to share to you” </p>
<p>"I would first off like to thank all of you for coming out this afternoon and celebrating the commencement of our graduates, otherwise I would feel akward up here speaking to no one</p>
