Could you please rate my SAT Prep essay from 1-6 or 1-12?

<p>Assignment: Are many leaders necessary for a group of people to function effectively?</p>

<p>What I wrote:
In democracies, the people have to some extent power to influence the decisions made by the authorities. However, this power is not entirely unlimited. The decisions made by the general public are influential only to some extent. This is because, even though there is a risk of the main leader becoming a tyrannical entity, there is one opinion ahead of all others. In reality, it is more orderly and prosperous if there is a single honorable, open-minded indiidual calling the shots.</p>

<p>Although "not even the smartest person could take responsibility for every action necessary to keep things running smoothly," being a leader does not necessarily indicate that a single person has to invent all the procedures and laws to be followed. A proper leader will hear the different opinions and then decide which will bring the best outbome. Of course that for any kind of leadership to be successful, there must be a mutual sense of respect from the leader to those being lead and vice-versa. In "Lord of the Flies," the main character whose name I cannot recall, calls the role as a leader. His honest ways made for a good community and citizenship until the antagonist decided he lusted after power and rebelled when he was denied as his motives were growing from greed. When he did so, all the order the former leader had proportioned went down the drain, not because he was a bad dictator, but because another leader tried to join himon top of the throne.</p>

<p>In court, there is one judge that will decide the outcome of each case. In a home, there is usually a parent that will have more power over the children and another that will be more lenient. In a classroom, a teacher has almost the absolute power of every day-per-day activity. There's always going to be one leader whether it is a democracy or not. There will always be someone with the most valued opinion because even as in many cases several people contribute to the whole, only one person will have the last say. One single brain will not have conflict against the decision it believes is best.</p>

<p>Thank you so much for taking the time to do this for me! Please leave your commentary, and pleeeease don't hold back. I know whatever you have to say is not anywhere near a personal thing, so lay it all on me.</p>

<p>Again, thank you so much!
-A</p>

<p>Hi, I am not really qualified to grade this but from my gut I would say 4(8). To make it stronger be sure to outline in advance. The ending sounds rushed and there isn’t a clear conclusion. Transitions, sentence structure, vocabulary and grammar look good! Also your Lord of the Flies example is good. I would suggest spending more time on your specific examples. The last paragraph you gave a few general examples. It would be better to pick one of those, make it specific and write about it in more depth. Then follow through with a strong conclusion (using some of the points you made in paragraph two and three).
Lastly, you did a great job actually answering the question. Your argument is coherent and logical.</p>

<p>I’d give it a 6 total.</p>