craziest experiences in the classroom that you've had...

Pre-College Issues High School Life
1

<p>here's what happened a few weeks ago:</p>

<p>so, my friends and i joke around A LOT with each other, and go to strategic extremes just to one-up each other. i've done some pretty bad crap, but again, it's in jest. anyway, i was in a certain course, and i had my head down out of boredom... for like 2 seconds. my paper, which had nothing on it (class hadn't started yet) was at the top of my desk. nonetheless, i wake up, and i see that the tip of it is ON FIRE. upon that, my friend extinguished it easily and threw the piece of paper in a small vent near his desk. ridiculous, but i found it funny. class begins, and kids start complaining that they smell smoke, even though it was a SMALL piece of paper. my teacher (he's really cool), comes to our area and somehow knows that it came from here, but the smell wasn't that strong, so he didn't care afterwards. that was a bit nervewracking, especially since we're all seniors.</p>

<p>this is unrelated, but a somewhat similar story:</p>

<p>my friends and i (about 7 of us) are walking in the times square station, and one of my friends trips my friend and he stumbles and accidentally hits the person behind him in the face (not that hard). luckily, the guy saw that my friend had set him up and said it was okay.</p>

<p>yes, it's stupid, immature, and isn't exactly behavior that should be done amongst friends, but this is the last year to be immature before college... lol</p>

2

<p>Yeah your a badass alright</p>

3

<p>Well....
Just the other day in Spanish class all the guys and a few girls decided to "exile" our teacher by not talking to him because he didn't give enough time for a quiz. One of them said, "I'd rather be castrated than talk. Go on, castrate me! Any takers!"Then, when the teacher called on someone and they didn't answer, he's pretend to be the student, which was pretty interesting ("And [name] will look at other [name] who will not know the answer, so he will inevitably get the answer wrong...").</p>

<p>For my last Religion class last year we had an "open mic" class. We were allowed to ask anything, so one kid asked about man-boobs. Somehow the discussion turned to circumcision of choir boys which led to the quote I posted in the "Stupid Quotes" thread yesterday.</p>

<p>And another time in the same class some girl dropped her cell phone in soda and couldn't open it to get the battery out, so she asked the teacher. The teacher opened it and said, "Ew! It's all soda-y!" My friend told him, "Mr. [name], you sound like a girl!" The teacher got the most serious look on his face and said, "I...am not...a girl." </p>

<p>That's all I have for now.</p>

4

<p>Well. Let's start with my English class, shall we? My teacher is this psychotic ex-marine who will willingly analyze diction for the rest of his life. Whenever we do vocab words or anything, he picks a semi-offensive word and asks a student( who somehow relates to it) the definition of that word. </p>

<p>Teacher: "Brothel. Tim, what do you know about brothels?"
To a girl that was recently heartbroken b/c of break up, "Monogamous, Kaitlyn?"
"Imbecility... Robert?"</p>

<p>Also, my Spanish teacher is pretty...different as well. He often cranks on the stereo and starts spazzing to "Sandstorm" by Darude. Last Friday, when he was a gone and we had a test, he found out that a previous period had cheated on the exam and played "Before He Cheats" by Carrie Underwood for us...motions and all.</p>

5

<p>just today... someone put human feces outside of my classes hallway...it was disgusting..until the principal came and investigated it and it turns out it was fake.........</p>

6

<p>I've made several "that's what she said" jokes to my teachers before...my AP US History class was pretty crazy last year...</p>

7

<p>Well my craziest experience in a class was when I had this chick bent over and...</p>

<p>then I woke up.</p>

8

<p>Probably when my 7th grade French class went into lockdown because this kid thought his girlfriend was cheating on him so he came to attack her. It was really scary and he actually almost kicked the door in (he dented it anyway) until the police came and wrestled him to the ground and arrested him.</p>

<p>We had another curazy day, last year. On the same day, a jeep caught fire in the parking lot and some girl gave herself an abortion in one of the bathroom stalls. People were taking pictures of the mess with their cellphones. It was pretty disgusting, and everyone knew, even though the school was obviously trying to keep it under wraps. I will never, ever, ever, use that toilet again.</p>

9

<p>One of these punker, rocker dukes with long hair, very sweet, usually says, "have a seat," and then pats his lap. </p>

<p>Oh, and he likes to add "...that's what she said" whenever a person says something.</p>

10

<p>^dang whitelulu, what kind of school do you go to lol</p>

11

<p>My AP World History class did a reenactment of the WWII trench warfare with chairs & desks as walls, flashing lights, a dark setting, smoke, loud noises (guns & bombs), and flying paper balls. It was also very very cold and very very confusing. o__o</p>

<p>He would blow a whistle and then half of the class would start "invading" towards the other side of the room while the other half would throw paper balls at them. Whoever gets hit, would have to immediately fall down. Then, he would switch and tell the other half to start invading. By the end of the period, there were so many bodies...o_o </p>

<p>My teacher wanted us to feel like how the soldiers felt during the war. He even made us do journals after every 5 minutes of invading...o_o...It was fun, but kind of creepy in a way.</p>

12

<p>ha ha, I go to a mostly white public school (1400 kids) in an affluent community/vacation destination for folks from Chicago.</p>

<p>Crazy stuff just goes down</p>

13

<p>Selected quotes from a facebook group dedicated to a certain special chem teacher at my school:</p>

<p>"My first life-coach committed suicide." - Mr. A</p>

<p>"I can have as many H's as I want." - Mr. A (in reference to hydrogen)</p>

<p>"a solid is like everyone in a movie theater sitting silently and holding hands" - Mr. A</p>

<p>Student: "Hey Mr. A, Why is it always so cold in your room?"
Mr. A: "Because I have a heart made of ice, now get out."</p>

<p>Mr. A: "...and when you're doing [this lab], be careful not to squirt it all over."
Student: "That's what she said."
Mr. A: "... (long awkward pause, then burst of laughter)"</p>

<p><em>Class being loud</em>
Mr. A: Stop this devilish hubbub!</p>

<p>Mr. A- so have you girls heard of those jeans? those expensive jeans? seven seven seven....?
Sarah- um... seven for all mankind? maybe?
Aidan- yeah those are jeans
Mr. A- theyre so expensive. more then $60...
Sarah- yeah they are. but theyre more like $200, which is stupid.
Mr. A- <em>laughing to himself</em> haha more like seven DEADLY SINS jeans. hahaha...DEADLY SINS for all mankind... <em>wanders away</em></p>

<p>Mr. A: "If you dont wear goggles, I'll lose my mortgage!"</p>

<p>Mr. A is about to give this test and theres this cello concerto playing on the radio, and this girl is like
"Mr. AAAAAAA, I can't concentrate with this musiiiccc!!!"
And then she gets up to go turn it off.
And he's like
"NO!!! ...It's my only joy in life..."</p>

<p>cyril: mr. a, did i do this right?
mr. a: what kind of number is that? i've never seen that number before in my life.</p>

<p>Mr. A: "Don't go out of the classroom. Don't go in the hallway. It smells like burned mice. It's dangerous."
and later:
"It smells singed. There's a singed smell out there."
still later:
". . . the mouse goes in the toaster. . ."</p>

<p>"so i was in france one time, and the river was frozen, i went out on the river and i saw some cats, and then i saw une, deux, trois, quatres (cats) Cinque (sank)</p>

<p>"I'm Amish, I drive a buggy."</p>

<p>Aidan - "So mr. a, are you going to see the school musical Hair?"
Mr. A - "noooo i don't think soooo"
Aidan - "Oh but mr. a it's so good!"
Kosak - "Weren't you around in the sixties?"
Mr. A - "The 1860's. The 1860's were so much better than the 1960's."</p>

<p>Mr. A: There are so many of you and so few of me...
Us: Theres only one of you...
Mr. A: ...I have a multi-phobic personality...
Us: What?
Student : What did you say? Did you say you have a multi-phobic personality?
Him: I said don't talk.</p>

<p>Me:so, Mr. A....are we doing anything fun today?
Mr. A: No.
Me:But this is my only fun class.
Mr. A: this isnt suposed to be a fun class. this is suposed to be a class of pain and misery<em>start mumbling</em></p>

<p>Mr. A: "i don't know, i had major issues there"</p>

<p>Avery: Mr. A.. i really think you should invest some money into softer tissues.
Mr.A: avery... i think YOU should invest some money into softer tissues (walks aways laughing to himself)</p>

<p>me: whos teaching Physics next yr?
mr. a: i.. i.. i dont know
me: mr. a.. YOU SHOULD!
mr. a: mumble.. mumble.. nnn nn no.
me: y??
mr. a: well.. it's it's not fun.
Me: mr. a.. you can make it fun
mr. a: (cocky smile on face): i dunno.. i mean i guess i could make a few labs fun.. but.. its.. its boring
me: pllllleeaaassee?
mr. a: i.. i.. don.. NO.</p>

<p>James: Mr. A, I need to go wash this blue stuff off my tongue because I licked something that had ink on it.
A: Go fill out a planner pass.
J: I might be dead by the time I finish filling it out.
A: You won't die.
J: I might.
A: Ok, if you die I'll give your parents ten dollars.
(us laughing)
A: If you die I'll give your parents nine dollars.
Me: Does this extend past today, or...
A: It's just for today. The cause of death... I'll need an autopsy.</p>

<p>(inspired by college fair)
Me: A, what college did you go to?
A: I was home colleged. And I was valedictorian.</p>

<p>N: Your cruelty & mean jokes have broken my heart
A: I have dug deep into your soul</p>

<p>...lol i'll add more later</p>

14

<p>In my Religion class last year (which was pretty funny). (The teacher is male):
Student: (who's a girl) I need to go to the bathroom.
Teacher: Um...maybe you should wait.
Student: I gotta pee!
Teacher: Okay, go. (as she walks away) Ew, girls. </p>

<p>Student: Will God forgive you if you curse when you're angry?
Teacher: I'm sure He doesn't care if you're walking and you walk into a wall and stub your toe and go, (sigh) '****, that hurt.'</p>

<p>Student: Can I go to the nurse.
Teacher: Sure. Can one of you take him to the nurse? (A student volunteers and they both leave) He looks terrible!
Class: Mr. (name)!
Teacher: I'm sorry, not like that! I mean, he looks really sick.</p>

<p>Teacher: Where's your homework. (It was an important essay).
Student: I forgot it.
Teacher: (walking away) Thanks for nothing.</p>

<p>Student: [Teacher's name] is being so mean!
Teacher: WHAT......did you say under your breath? (The first part was yelled, and the last was really quiet)
Student: (after a long silence) You were being mean.
Student 2: You just scared the **** out of me! You made us all jump!
Teacher: Did I? I'm sorry. Really, I am.</p>

<p>In a study:
Student: Hi, Mr. (Italian teacher)
Teacher: I am having a bad day. Don't talk to me.</p>

<p>In Global:
Teacher: I never give my students infractions. I like to do other stuff. But the freshman-I just give them infractions to empty out my infraction book. It's so funny. They try to strike up a conversation in study hall and they'll be like, "Hey Mr. (name), How was you're weekend?" and I'll ask their name and when they tell me I'll say, "Infraction." They'll always say they were trying to be friendly but there's no talking during study. Freshman are so funny.</p>

<p>Student: Mr. (name), I need to go to the bathroom.
Teacher: Have you gone this week yet (in this class)?
Student: No.
Teacher: You can't go.
Student: Why?! I didn't go yet this week.
Teacher: You went last week.
Student: Why do you remember this stuff?</p>

15

<p>i had a crazy ass spanish teacher.. like for real, something was wrong with her.</p>

<p>so our class was complete ***<em>s to her. one day after she said we "permanently damaged her vision" with a laser pointer.. ahha yeah we're mean. so she walks out of the room takes her labtop.. and then locks us in the room! haha i'm not even kidding. we're all freaking out like , *</em>. then one of the students took out her cellphone and called the school. someone came up to unlock the door.</p>

<p>and our teacher never came back again. it was a mutual agreement with her and the school. because the teacher HATED us, like she actually got a substitute to be in the room with her because she was so scared of us. hahaha. but the substitute wasnt there the day she walked out. and the school had alot of complaints, so they fired her.</p>

<p>haahah i really truly loved that class though.. haha good memories.</p>

16

<p>I had an 8th grade science teacher who let us have a water fight in class, she also showed her belly butten ring, her tatoo which was on her lower thigh, and she flirted with all the guys in the class.</p>

17

<p>Today in Religion we got distracted by a gym teacher who hit her head with a goal post she was setting up. The following occured:
Student: Oh my God!
Teacher: What?
Student: [teacher's name] Is hurt!
Teacher: she's probably fine.
Student: She's bleeding from the head! You're a religion teacher-do something!
Teacher: She's going to the nurse. Can we please get back to class?</p>

18

<p>Z is the teacher, M J are students.</p>

<p>Z: (handing her her paper) What is that? It looks like Hebrew. It looks like I wrote Hebrew on your paper.
M: Yeah, kinda of. .
Z: My hand is so cramped and arthritic, I can't even write english anymore. I grade too many papers.
M: Ha ha, yeah.
Z: (walks away, comes back) I can speak Hebrew.
M: Okay. . .
Z: (speaks hebrew)
M: (starts laughing)
Us: What did he say?
M: Please give me cake.
Z. It's useful. It is.
M: Where did you learn it?
Z: I don't know.</p>

<p>J: You need to chill out, Mr. Z.
Z: I can't. I can't chill out. I'm a non-chilling protestant.
M: What?
(Laughter by all)
Z: I'm a non-chilling protestant. Protestants can be chilling or non-chilling.
(a few seconds later)
M: I'm jewish...
Z: Are you a chilling jew or a non-chilling jew? Non-chilling orthodox (laughs) Chilling hasidic... (babbles to self about different kinds of chilling + non-chilling jews)</p>

<p>Student: I have to go to lacrosse.
Teacher: That's not a real sport.
Student 2: Why isn't it a real sport?
Teacher: Because you don't ride a bus.
Student 2: I rode a bus to a dance competition once...
Zdrazil: It has to be a school bus.
Student 2: So, if you played soccer in a soccer club or whatever and you didn't take a bus to your games, would it still be a sport?
Teacher: No...school bus, school bus...you have to ride a school bus.</p>

<p>Teacher: I regret everything I've done. If I've done it, I regret it.</p>

19

<p>My 7th grade science teacher cut off part of her thumb in a paper cutter.</p>

20

<p>^^ whoa.. o_o</p>