Critique my college essay?

<p>Could someone please proofread my supplementary essay for Princeton? It's 670 words long when it shouldn't be more than 500. I am kinda late to the party, so any help would be appreciated.</p>

<p>i’ll read it :)</p>

<p>i’d like to read it.</p>

<p>Feel free to send me your essays! I’d love to help and provide my comments. </p>

<p>I have already been reading number of essays on CC
I’ll give you an honest suggestion :D</p>