Critique my Commonapp Essay please?

College Essays
1

<p>Hi people,</p>

<p>I have completed my Commonapp Essay on the topic "Evaluate a significant experience, achievement, risk you have taken, or ethical dilemma you have faced and its impact on you".</p>

<p>Let me know if you are willing and able to read it then provide me feedback.</p>

<p>Thanks!</p>

<p>Let me know your current status e.g. current undergraduate etc.
No prospective Class of 2015 please (except people who have been accepted via ED)...</p>

2

<p>As I said in a message to you, I’d be happy to do it. I’m not prospective Class of 2015, so it’s all good :)</p>