Critique my essay please!

<p>Hi i'm applying to Rutgers and am having a little trouble with the essay. </p>

<p>Question:
Required Essay: Rutgers University is a vibrant community of people with a wide variety of backgrounds and experiences. How would you benefit from and contribute to such an environment? Consider variables such as your talents, travels,
leadership activities, volunteer services, and cultural experiences. Only personal essays submitted via our website will be considered. You may enter a maximum of 3800 characters including spaces.</p>

<p>PLEEEASE message me if you want to critique my essay. Does it fully answer the prompt?</p>

<p>Pm me it, I’ll help :)</p>