Critique my essays!

College Essays
1

<p>My first one is the UC prompt about the world you come from. I need some advice on if I should cut anything and how to make it more focused.</p>

<p>My second one is the second UC prompt/my Common App essay. It's only my first draft so don't be afraid to rip it apart.</p>

<p>Don't be afraid to be honest! And thanks in advance!</p>

2

<p>i will (: email at diva_trish94***********</p>

3

<p>Hey, the email didn’t show up!</p>

4

<p>Hey, just pm me i’d love to critique them!</p>

5

<p>Bump! I would really love more opinions!</p>