critique my half done prompt :D

<p>What is your intended major? Discuss how your interest in the subject developed and describe any experience you have had in the field — such as volunteer work, internships and employment, participation in student organizations and activities — and what you have gained from your involvement.
In my nineteen years of life, I have come across several different majors and aspirations, but none of which remotely compare in fascination and interest to a business economics major. I came to the realization that economics is a global phenomenon and language that can be used by people to analyze a consumers driving force behind purchasing certain products and can predict future outcomes in the market place. However, my dream of becoming a business man was solidified by the CEO of Creative Environments, named Jerry Schneiderman. Jerry who is a real estate developer, entrepreneur and close family friend, theoretically allowed me to serve as his “right hand man”, executing certain tasks and ultimately allowing me to experience and learn how to engage in business ventures such as opening up one of the first Armenian banks in Southern California. During my position at Creative Environments, I was exposed to several different business ventures that allowed me to grow and understand better as a person, for example I have to usually try and gather several different investors and present logical and thorough information in order to accumulate funds on certain projects. Trying to gather investors for projects allowed </p>

<p>any suggestions or criticism? Should I provide more detail?</p>