Critiquing College Essays/Showing Excerpts of my Essays

<p>Hello, I am a 2013, graduated and am going to Amherst soon. I remember this time of year where I was struggling with my own college essays. It was tough finding direction on where to start.</p>

<p>Nevertheless with some help from a user on the CC boards, I drew from my experiences and wrote the best essay I have ever written. I swear that that is how I got into the schools (top LACs)</p>

<p>I feel that at this time, some of you might be fretting about where to take your essays and whether they are up to the level of whatever school you want to apply to. In this scenario, I would be glad to send you some excerpts of my old essays provided that you will not copy them. They are for guidance and example not for ripping off of.</p>

<p>Furthermore, going through many many revisions of my own essays as well as other peoples (who can all vouch for my credibility), I feel that I have gained a very useful ability to tear apart an essay and identify its strengths and weaknesses. </p>

<p>To that end, I can also critique essays if you wish, provided the following stipulations:</p>

<ol>
<li>You must have already completed your first and second drafts. I am not critiquing/fixing any essays that have sloppy grammar/spelling mistakes. I can help give direction, examples, and what is necessary to make your essay stronger.</li>
<li>You respect my opinion. I am going to be brutally honest about your essays - if they are poor, they are poor. Do not take it personally.</li>
</ol>

<p>Thank you.</p>

<p>Thanks for the great edits. They’ve been very helpful - I feel that my essay is ready to go for Columbia ED.</p>

<p>Also, I’m not sure if you received my PM earlier but do you mind sending me my drafts back in Microsoft Word with the comments attached to them instead of just sending them text format in the notepad? It would be very convenient that way.</p>

<p>Some of my sentences have really messy run-on sentences and yeah, I’m not sure what to do with them (this is my UChicago essay I’m talking about)</p>

<p>thank you. Not sure if you got my PM</p>

<p>hi,</p>

<p>i know ur busy with a lot of essays but i just got your edits and I sent you my revised 2nd draft back</p>

<p>can u give me feedback please? it’s tough to catch u on CC. and i emailed you my draft a few hours ago.</p>

<p>tyy</p>

<p>Dude THANK YOU!!! </p>

<p>Thanks for helping me edit my essays. I’ve been really nervous about them since I know they need to be really good in order to impress the ppl at Cornell.</p>

<p>I’ve never been good at writing essays, but you showed me where i was lacking in my essay. I think this one is ready to go for my common app. I’d like to send you some more if you wouldn’t mind looking at them.</p>

<p>I was wondering should I try explaining myself and my grades in my essay or should i just write one that doesnt mention them at all and is more philosophical? </p>

<p>I had a few ideas bouncing around i was wondering if you could help me construct a few more good ones. then i’ll be set.</p>

<p>Thanks again for the help I really appreciate this</p>

<p>Hey</p>

<p>Could you please look over my common app essays? I really wanna make them perfect because i hear they r the most important. Also could you send me some of your excerpts? </p>

<p>Also I was wondering for the prompts that ask for atleast like 250 words is it ok if i ramble on for like 500 or even 1000 or should i stick close to 250?</p>

<p>Thanks for your help</p>

<p>HTF did posters 2-4, all of whom you have apparently helped/been helping, all reply to this thread within 20 minutes of its creation, no less at midnight pacific time!? Either you ARE that fantastic, or something suspicious is going on here.</p>

<p>Wow, this is very nice of you! I would love it if you could send me your examples…I will be applying to columbia ED and I have never seen an essay for college before.</p>

<p>I can vouch for choliheung, Senior0991, or at least that he’s 2013. </p>

<p>He is very fantastic although he has never edited my essays since I am class of 2013 as well.</p>

<p>Celebration & senior010 I sent you my old Columbia ED essay. Thanks for the vouch, lolilaughed. </p>

<p>joecart and alucard00, I sent you my revised edits of your essay. </p>

<p>champ7, i am still working on your essay</p>

<p>thank you so much for doing this, I’ll send my essay to you soon.</p>

<p>Sent out my excerpts to shuai, ezaga and hellotoyou</p>

<p>Working on your edits/revisions. Thanks for the patience.</p>

<p>edit: I realized for some PMs I wrote columbia ED – I meant Columbia RD. thanks for pointing it out in case of any confusion.</p>

<p>I’d love to read bits and pieces of your essays as well. I wrote my Common App Essay, but felt it wasn’t up to par. I’m still brainstorming at this point.</p>

<p>Hey cards, I thought I’d help you out by sending you a couple of my own essays. Just to let you know.</p>

<p>Hello all, </p>

<p>I apologize if your essays have not been edited yet. I am still pouring over them. At the moment, I just sent out essay proofreads and suggestions from shuaishuaishuai and eaten. Ezaga, if you PM me back another edited draft, I can throw more feedback on that as well.</p>

<p>Ara114, I am still working on yours. Truestudent, yours will be done by the end of the day,</p>

<p>Best regards.</p>

<p>I just sent you my Why Stanford essay. Could you take a look? And how long will it be before I get feedback?</p>

<p>Thank you very much. you never seem to pm back besides to send back edits/proofreads. could i just im you instead?</p>

<p>hi choliheung, can i have ur email. pm is slow.</p>

<p>Hey,</p>

<p>I just PMed you with my essay. I would GREATLY appreciate any feedback you could give me on my essay!!!</p>

<p>You rock,
Robbie</p>

<p>Would you mind sending me the Columbia essay also? I wish I had something to be edited, too, but for now I don’t have anything ready enough.</p>

<p>Sydchez, I sent you my essay. Rtgrove123 and anyone else who has recently emailed me or PMed me with their essays, I am currently swamped so I will be taking it with a slower pace. Sorry, I hope you guys understand. </p>

<p>As of right now, please do not send me any more essays until I can get through all the ones I have.</p>

<p>Thank you.</p>

<p>thakn you for the other essay you sent me. it was very helpful</p>