Prestige really has bad connotations around it, so of course we have all these posters say it doesn’t matter. Wouldn’t most send their child to the best college they could afford? or would they say community college is cheap so we don’t care your academics are top 1%; community college is where your going. Question really is if their child got into a top school and a run of the mill state college, where would they go? Both will provide an education… one answer has more “prestige” than the other.
I let them apply where they wanted, but it ended up being the best value school as we were full pay.
“Question really is if their child got into a top school and a run of the mill state college, where would they go? Both will provide an education… one answer has more “prestige” than the other.”
Sure, if all things are equal. But things are rarely completely equal. 
So many variables… for some families the prestigious school might be less expensive than the run of the mill state college that doesn’t meet 100% need without loans. In certain industries it matters that you went to a school that’s known to be good quality for that industry and in other industries it matters little where you went to school. Some kids have special needs that are best met at certain schools. The possibilities of variables are endless. Very tough to know on the face of it how much prestige plays a role in the choice.
In some social circles, families, cultures or regions there are also differing ideas of what is prestigious and also how appropriate it is to discuss said prestige.
What make good colleges (just like pretty much everything else) are the people: the faculty and the students. Look first in the area of interest/study, then more generally. Faculty who are leaders in the field and teach, and fellow students that can challenge. If the college happens to be prestigious, fine. If not, so be it.
Considering all three of our children are at or have graduated from schools most people on CC have not heard of, prestige played no role in decisions. We had to chase the money, but many other factors played a role and thankfully we are 3 for 3 in finding excellent fits for our children where they flourished.
It’s usually the kids that are more hung up on prestige than the parents. The most expensive schools are usually not even the private schools. Schools like Ohio State and UT-Austin are like an academic Disneyland complete with a football team bigger than most NFL franchises. They are also the most stingy with financial aid, especially if you come from another state. You get the cost of a private school without any of the grants. Also, getting into these schools is only half the story. Quite often, students get rejected from employable majors because their grades aren’t competitive enough. This happens after accumulating 30k in co-signed loans. What we need to teach kids is practicality over prestige. If your major is employable, then the school won’t matter. If it’s not employable, neither school will help you. Why waste a scholarship? Seriously, if you’re being offered free money to go to college, use it!
As a parent, I wanted my kids to happy and successful at whichever college that chose to attend. Prestige was not even a consideration.
I was lucky my flagship is a top tier U. Even with scholarship money it was the only affordable option. Gifted son also went there, he was young (16) and wouldn’t apply to most elite schools (wouldn’t even visit Harvard or Yale when went on an east coast trip to see MIT, and Princeton which he would not finish the application for). With such a good flagship with top rated grad programs (and he took some of those courses for his honors degree, I had some lab time in grad labs for some honors courses) I looked at supposedly highly ranked private schools and was disappointed in their offerings relative to UW.
So- for a gifted kid and having the money we were concerned about academic excellence and those tend to be prestigious. If our flagship were different we would have had him looking harder at more schools. It is a lot harder on the east coast where there are so many private schools and the public U’s are not of the same caliber. btw- there are so many “prestigious” schools I have learned about because of CC. Simply not on the radar away from their locations. Also knew the odds were not in his favor since there simply isn’t enough room for all. Plus- Michigan never on the radar because while it is better known, Wisconsin is similar.
We can all end up doing the same work in the same places. For example, I know of one Harvard undergrad and one from that medical school who both ended up with the rest of us doing the same stuff. Schooling became ancient history, just like HS does for college students.
On a regional/provincial level of course other instate options were not even under consideration. Prestige factor? Or the fact that none are in the same league.
My kid got himself into college, I had nothing to do with it. We told him he could go anywhere he wanted, just not Ohio State. (Go Blue!)
Social fit, major strength, finances in no particular order. I have happy, employed graduates so all is good.
S1 didn’t have the stats for prestige and was headed into engineering where prestige is less important. He went in-state where his friends were attending and the average student had 3.1GPA / 22ACT.
D did have the stats, talked to experienced people in her field about the best colleges for her, applied to 8 programs among the top 25 nationally, and ended up at the same place but in the Honors College.
S2 wanted to apply to business programs where he felt he had the best chance of not selling insurance when he graduated. All six apps went to colleges with top 25 business rankings and good alumni networks. He has bigger plans and we can afford it with the FA, not much more than we paid for kids 1 and 2.
For us it was fit, quality, and finance, in that order. Prestige …just bloody silly. I can see it a bit if you are going to be an academic, but even then.
Hmmmm, I have to be honest. For my college sophomore, I did care about prestige, a bit. But I cared about it because my husband and I felt, rightly or wrongly, that our shy and not-assertive daughter would benefit from being at a more well-known school that had strong alumni involvement and good career services. We do feel she has ended up at the best school for her, but it’s not Harvard-level prestigious, by any means.
For my current high school junior, prestige isn’t a factor at all. He literally only cares about which school will offer him the most money, as well as a good sports scene. I prefer that he attend a school that has good career services, so that will be a consideration.
Prestige is often a good proxy for academic rigor (not always, but often). So yes- we were hung up on it when prestige corresponded with a well prepared and highly engaged student body, hard classes, rigorous requirements in the major plus tough distribution requirements (i.e. not getting credit for HS quality work and calling it the equivalent of a year at college).
I am an outlier on CC. But I told my kids I had no interest in paying more for less. They want a fancy gym? Gourmet dining? Gorgeous suite style apartments on campus? Then when you graduate, get a high paying job and pay for that lifestyle yourself. Rigorous academics, high standards, exceptional opportunities in the arts, research, archives, museums, labs… that’s what I’m going to pay for.
So yes- I was hung up on prestige. If they weren’t going to work hard and challenge themselves inside and outside of a classroom, they could stay home and get a degree online. I wasn’t paying for a four year country club to get their ticket punched.
Not every “prestigious” college has rigor. And not every non-prestigious college is without it… (many majors are going to be rigorous regardless of where you are). But for sure prestige was on my radar.
I have worked in corporate HR/Recruiting for decades. I know the party schools, I know where you can’t find a single student at breakfast on Friday because the weekend starts at 3 pm on Thursday, I know where qualifying for one of the departmental honor societies requires a B average, I know colleges where when you call a professor to ask “who is the top student in your ABC class this year” he or she will hem and haw and say “this wasn’t a particularly robust year in our student body”. Not interested in paying for that.
Prestige wasn’t important to us in our college application process. We talked about schools with 3 things in mind: cost, college experience (I guess you could think of it as fit) and outcome.
First, when it came to cost we knew we were going to be full pay minus any merit. From that viewpoint, we approached college in terms of total out-of-pocket cost. Our children understand our value system. We can afford expensive cars and a nicer, more expensive home, but it’s not our style. We told them from an early age that we would pay for a 4 yr degree at our state flagship or the equivalent amount at the school of their choice. If they wanted to attend a more expensive school we would only consider paying for all of it, if it made sense to us. In other words they would have to show passion and commitment to the intended degree. Also, in either case, we told them that they would need to be self-sufficient post-graduation, because that’s where we felt our financial responsibility ended.
Second, when it came to college experience we discussed expectations with them…their desires and the probability of fulfilling those desires. I could ramble on about this, but I’ll just say this step required them to do some serious self-reflection, while keeping an open mind to suggestions.
When it came to projecting an outcome, prestige could have entered the discussion. However, my husband and I didn’t place much, if any value on it. Instead we tried to focus on matching their goals with job placement stats for the schools under consideration. For our first graduate, the outcome was a success. (and lucky for her, since her current employer will pay for her graduate degree, she may go for ‘prestige’ in a couple of years) As for our second born, we’ll see what happens in the Fall when he is deciding on his post-graduation plans.
My kid got into two Honors Colleges, one all costs paid + stipends and the other tuition free and some costs covered. So it was Honors College, UCLA/UC Berkeley or Stanford. Since we had the money for a private college, we let our kid decide, and he chose Stanford. And honestly, Stanford was the best fit for him. If it was not, I might have objected. There is no right or wrong decision here, and everything depends on your situation and fit.
Honestly, if the Honors College did not offer great merit money, my kid would not have even applied there, so I am not 100% on board with the idea of sending a kid to a school just to save money; at the same time, I am not on board with the idea of sending my kid to some school just because it’s prestigious. If we were really after prestige, we would have persuaded our kid to apply to Harvard, Yale and Princeton also, but our kid applied to just one reach college. Berkeley and UCLA were match (at least we thought they were), and all others were safeties. Also, honestly, if Stanford was not prestigious and had very strong programs all across the board, we would not have sent our kid on full pay. I also feel we saved at least $50K to $60K by going to Stanford because it was the only school which allowed our kid to take a gap year while holding a spot for him to attend next year to pursue a study abroad scholarship program which can fairly valued at $50K to $60K.
There is no guarantee that our kid will go to a graduate school, and there is no guarantee that our kid will get into a great graduate school even if he does go to one. In fact, there is no guarantee at all in life. So we chose the best school for him which was the school he most wanted to attend. I would have been also happy if he chose to attend Honors College because it was his choice to turn down Stanford and go to another Honors College to save money. Heck, I am just proud he hung tough and graduated from high school. I was happy or sad for him, not for myself. I even prayed for my kid even though I am an agnostic. The way I look at it, I made money to provide more/better opportunities for my loved ones (I am not the type to want to drive a nice car or show off materially); and I am GLAD to spend money to send my kid to Stanford even if it’s only for undergraduate!
@blossom I agree with everything you say, but I left the decision to my kid. I told him he could use the money for this and that or use the money to go to Stanford, and he chose to use the money for Stanford. There is no way for me to say that his decision was wrong.
Speaking as the person who apparently reads a different CC than most of the long-timers here 
, I read these responses as being, well, not interested in “prestige,” or at least nowhere near to the extent the OP was worried about. If people use “prestige” as a shorthand for, as @blossom puts it, “a good proxy for academic rigor,” then to my ears, that’s not prestige. It is entirely possible to want a child to attend MIT or Harvard because they can brag to their friends about how their child attends MIT or Harvard. That to me is (a waaaaaay unhealthy) concern with “prestige.” But if they want their child to attend Harvard or MIT for some other reason – the crazy-good need-based financial aid makes it a better deal, or they want a career for which MIT or Harvard grads are particularly recruited, or some other specified reason – then that’s not “prestige.”
Admittedly, some people may be trying to justify “prestige”-hunting, but I believe most are looking for some specific reason. And, yes, I would guess that there are some parents who are concerned with “prestige.”
But I’d note that roughly 80% of the responses to the question said that “prestige” didn’t come into question, and if you use my more nuanced definition above, it’s more like 90%.
@websensation If Stanford hadn’t happened then how would you have viewed the choice between Berkeley/UCLA vs the honors college(s) w/merit. Would it have been about more than just the relative cost and fit?
@BorgityBorg I think for many people what might be more relevant is whether your choice might provide a boost on a job/postgrad application in a few years time. To me that’s a better underlying reason for choosing “prestige” rather than being able to boast to friends about where your kids are going (or even worse the kids comparing themselves to one another at graduation).
For that reason, I’d take a broad definition, and say it doesn’t have to be just about the name of the school itself. A highly selective scholarship can also provide that advantage, and I think that can be a choice based on “prestige” (not just the merit money involved - there are plenty of such awards that don’t provide much or any additional money with them).
Both daughters thought of applying to some famous highly ranked schools to see if they would get in, even though they had no intention of actually going there. They had the stats. In the end they both decided that it wasn’t worth the trouble. Both went to schools that are a very good fit for them.