D-Day: Drop off Day

<p>Thread from years past.</p>

<p><a href="http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=174575&highlight=walked+tears%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/showthread.php?t=174575&highlight=walked+tears&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

<p>Drop off day was HARD! I thought I was prepared, I thought I'd be OK...but I was a mess. I kept it pretty together just shed a few tears. My daughter got hysterical and began wailing as my son got out of the car. That didn't help matters but it was a bit of a distraction for me.</p>

<p>However, I did feel he was in good hands, had a good roomate, was ready for the experience, etc. The school had loads of orientation activities planned for them...so I also knew he would be very busy the first few days.</p>

<p>Ahhhh...another step in the letting go process.</p>

<p>First one to go - I waved from the driveway and stayed home with the 3 younger ones. Dad was much more useful for the move in. However, he had not counted on moving everything in and having S say bye now. Did not even want a free dinner. S was excited and wanted to get on with meeting people and getting involved. Disappointed Dad decided to drive home 4 hours instead of stay overnight. He said it was a lonely drive.</p>

<p>I had to fly cross country and so, was stuck staying night in a hotel. On move in day, D's school had a great buffet lunch on the quad lawn and a matriculation ceremony. This helped a lot. D and roommate wanted to make a Target run and we returned some BB and B items that she did not need. By 4:00, students were off to meet with their "advising groups and that was it. Fortunately, I had met another mom in the same situation, so we went out for great Boston seafood and (more than one) glass of wine. I did get to see D for a few minutes the next day, but she was busy with orientation activities. Lots of hugs and she threatened me not to cry. The flight home was very long.....................</p>

<p>I was interested to see that the CMU schedule includes a "dinner on your own and family farewell" followed by meetings and activities in the residence halls. Younger brother is convinced he's going to bored by the whole day.</p>

<p>mathmom: D's school had separate activities for younger siblings, but I guess at 15 he wasn't young enough. LOL. He did more work than she did! Two other girls had brothers the same age & it was cute watching them execute similarly assigned tasks.</p>

<p>blucroo - I got teary just watching the slideshow and audio from the matriculation ceremony online -- and our son hasn't even started there yet!</p>

<p>We will have a two-step goodbye-- the initial dropoff for preorientation (easy), a short vacation nearby for the rest of us, then back 4 days later for matriculation and the final farewell (probably not so easy). Younger siblings will be along too, so S. will probably want us all out of his hair by the end of the day. Hope so, because if he gets emotional, I'll lose it. The big question mark for all of them right now is roomates -- hope they'll be compatible!</p>

<p>lspf72: be warned, you won't see your S until the morning of move-in..........sometime around 9 am D showed up with backpack and very smelly clothes! The matriculation at Tufts is very moving and President Bacow is incredible. D loves everything about the school and can't wait to get back. She will be there singing a capella during Orientation week.</p>

<p>Take 3 in 3 days- computer glitches...</p>

<p>The saga begins with the practical, organized, only shopper in the house- me- using the dining room (otherwise unused, especially in summer) as a staging area to put purchases and things from around the house for college. It was easier to buy some things "on approval" and return them than to try to force son to shop. He had time to edit stuff and learn what he was taking. I wisely didn't trust my teenage son to think of everything even though he had spent camp time in various college dorms before. Mothers are the ones who know their runner should have freezer cold packs, a stiff brush for muddy shoes and stain remover, even if they never get used... all those little things from around home we take for granted. I should have sent the Sudafed along with the other first aid/medical kit items. BTW, get the extra alarm clock, etc. so there's one when they come home for a visit.</p>

<p>Moving day. Son slept late, as usual. We finally had his stuff ready for the car by lunchtime ("which clothes do I need to take?- all of them"); I am the master car packer- fit everything in/on the SUV with room for son and parents as well as making sure the daily use items weren't left behind. Found time for a leisurely lunch during the 2 1/2 hour drive; finally arrived at 4 pm (8 am was the start, first of a 2 day move in by houses of each dorm)- long after most. His dorm was built into a hill, 5 connected buildings, 2 staggered downhill on each side of the center one; he was in a first floor room furthest from center building (the only elevator was vertical, not horizontal...); there was a very sloping, curved outside sidewalk (thank goodness for nice weather) with no curb and woods along it to get to the ouside entrance -up and down a few steps to his floor level. Three or four laundry carts worth of stuff made it safely to his room- he unpacked, made his bed etc. after we said goodbye. They had a dorm house meeting at 6:30 pm so we knew we would not be taking him out to dinner. There were student helpers who by that time of day had congregated at the main entrance so we had none of their muscle/steering help (they also helped students with lofts et al). The extra large lounge pillow I had made for him that made me glad I had sideview mirrors was sent back home as unwanted, only to be requested and returned on a trip a week or so later.</p>

<p>This year he will be in the same, nicest location, biggest rooms on campus dorm- but he will be in the center building with the elevator! And, his stuff from last year is nicely stored ready to go- he only has to decide what not to take and add the contents of his room plus consumables...</p>

<p>During the move in process I took time to see the dorm (I had to go upstairs for the proper bathroom anyhow). I recommend looking around- there is enough chaos and plenty of other parents so you don't stick out. I was able to see names/hometowns on doors and notice how rooms were - girls/women decorate; boys/men don't (that mainly from seeing his room the following trip, we entered the main doors and walked down, around and through...). We had attended the summer orientation; they used his dorm for the housing as well as giving tours of rooms in the dorms students knew they were going to be in so I had had a sneak preview.</p>

<p>Needless to say, it was dark by the time we made it home for a whatever you find supper. Even though he typically avoided us when he was home it was strange to not have him here. Good luck to all first time movers, it is a stressful day, but the chaos on campus is fun. Definitely not the time for a campus tour, however (unless you like dodging students everywhere).</p>

<p>The move out day was another whole story...</p>

<p>I flew across country to take my eldest D to college. She had taken a fall roller blading a few days before but told me she'd been wearing her wrist guards so I wasn't too worried when she said her wrist was sore. The day we flew, she said it still hurt and admitted that she hadn't been wearing the guards after all. So on our first evening we visited the emergency room to get an x-ray of her BROKEN wrist, which was put in a cast. (Can you guess who carried her ginormous duffel bags up the stairs of the dorm? The cast made an excellent conversation piece for her to meet people though.) We were initially upset to find that her triple room was really a double with one bed bunked but it turned out that the three girls became close friends and didn't mind the crowding. We made her bed, chatted with the other parents and then went to a big auditorium where the kids sat in front and parents behind for welcome speeches. Then the speaker told the parents we could leave. We said goodbye outside - no tears - and before I could retreat to my lonely airport hotel to wait for a morning flight, my D's new roommate's parents very kindly invited me out for a drink. We sat in a hotel sports bar for hours, getting acquainted, and I was saved from a long evening alone in my room. The following day, I flew home uneventfully and was waiting for my luggage when a pretty young woman expressed her impatience with the luggage carousel saying "I"m dying to get home, I just left my children for the first time." I said "You think that's bad, I just took my daughter to college...," and I burst into tears. The complete stranger gave me a big hug, patting me on the back, saying "It's going to be okay." It's a moment I will never forget.</p>

<p>I have posted this before, but I have a friend who left her son at Virginia Tech and was unexpectedly overcome with tears so much so that she beat a retreat and started home on the expressway so as not to further embarrass her son. She passed a woman on the side of the road, who was crying over her dog, who had been hit by a car and had not made it. My friend stopped, parked near her, and stood by the side of the road and boo hooed over the dog with a complete stranger until someone came to help her with the poor doggy's remains. I am sure the poor lady who lost her dog did not need to be saddled by a woman who was sobbing for other reasons, but there it is.</p>

<p>One last comment on my story. The D in question had a stormy childhood and in all honesty we were as relieved to send her off to college as she was to go. Even so, she got an enormous kick out of my tears when I told her about them. I've thought of that recently as my youngest gets ready to leave. She has heard me answer questions from friends and family about the impending empty nest, saying that I'm fine, that it's time, that I look forward to traveling more with my husband, etc. At some point I realized that I was hurting her feelings by not saying it was breaking my heart, which it is of course. So I wrote her a note saying that and tucked it in her backpack when she went off to a retreat at the end of her senior year. She just said "I liked your note," but she got the message.</p>

<p>Like newmassdad and JHS we suffered move-in at U of Chicago 4 years ago and will do so again in September. I must say that other than the parking it didn't seem so bad at the time. When we took our middle S to Wash U however, the differences in move-in became clear. We were given as assigned time to move-in, along with a limited time parking pass to pull right up to the dorm and unload. Much easier. And with a 3 day move-in-parent orientation there was more time to do the Target/Best Buy/Home Depot runs. With Chicago's one day move-in, and lots of things to do (NSIT computer orientation, ID pick-up, placement test sign-ups), there isn't much time for additional shopping once the stuff has been delivered to the dorm room. This time we'll probably offer her some shopping services on Sunday since we'll be staying to spend time with friends in Chicago. But both schools have amazing convocation traditions. Chicago's piper-led processional with the kids continuing past the gates and Wash U's glow stick recessional from the convocation are each designed for maximum impact and tears..from the parents that is. And for those who haven't gotten to graduation at Chicago yet, if you think the pipers were great at Orientation..just wait for graduation!</p>

<p>ruinnersmom: you reminded me that at Barnard we also got assigned a time. a half our. We also got a square right on Broadway that was ours to unload car into. And Broadway was actually closed! Those convocations sound awesome, and I can imagine graduation. Just one more reason to be mad at S for turning down Chicago. Just kidding, but it does seem a great school. D's boyfriend goes to Wash. U and loves his balcony.</p>

<p>Yes, my S at WUSTL did love his balcony last year (he was in Dauten). Next year he's got a basement apartment in Millbrook. He will miss his balcony! After move-in day at Chicago we intend to drive down to St. Louis. He'll be a junior and we haven't been since Parents Weekend freshman year, so we thought it'd make a nice road trip after we drop off his sister. Me thinks we're just postponing the inevitable of returning home to the empty nest.</p>

<p>runnersmom, gee, my D just went through graduation as a third year student marshall (actually went through two...) and was not moved at all. She just complained about the heat.</p>

<p>Next June will be different, as we watch first hand.</p>

<p>runnersmom: My situation, too. However #2 leaves before #1 goes back for junior year, so our chatty girl will help us postpone inevitable for one more week.
One of these threads said to plan something fun to do after you drop last one off. Since D gets dropped of in NYC I should be able to find something, but then I go back to teaching the next day or so. Probably blessing in disguise.</p>

<p>Newmassdad, yes it was hot, but we scored seats just behind the main grassy area under a huge tree. It was perfect. I'm sure it was tougher for those who had to be there, especially if they weren't graduating. But congratulations to your D, being a student marshall is an incredible achievement. One of my S's best friends and roommates was a student marshall and his family and friends were very proud of him. From the perspective of the graduates' families there is nothing like the anticipation of seeing your graduate as the bagpipe band passes by and you know they are soon to appear. And, though it was extremely hot, we really appreciated the personal attention each graduate received as their name was announced and enough time was given for them to cross the stage, receive their diploma (their own by the way, not a blank case with the actual diploma to be received later), and return to their seats before the next name was called. All in all it lasted about 2 hours, though we were there since about 9am to get seats. There were water stations posted everywhere.
But this is a thread about move-in day..sorry to digress to that moment 4 years hence!</p>

<p>Suggestion for those in dorms without AC or even those with-take a cooler with bottled water, canned drinks, and a snack. With all the unpacking with 2 students, 4 parents, and assorted siblings (and this is assuming your child is in a double and not a quad,) the room and everyone in it can get hot under the collar!! What you don't drink can be left for the student in their new fridge!</p>

<p>If you have fans, make sure they are last in the car so they can be first out. You will want to get those plugged in ASAP. Along with that you will want to have your surge protectors and/or extension cord available also.</p>

<p>I know my husband was thankful for that cold Coke after moving all my daughter's stuff up three flights of stairs. He was also in charge of all think electric while I was in charge of making the top bunk. My daughter was busy meeting other kids on her hall and trying to decide what when where.</p>

<p>Same here. Is this what Darwin meant by natural selection? We do all the work, and they have all the fun? (LOL!)</p>