<p>D will be at Furman, where drop-off for freshmen is a family event! There are two days of activities for parents, so we get some transition time. The drive takes around 12 hours, so we will be gone several days ... S has to stay with his cousins, because he has school. It should be a crazy time. D is a serious procrastinator, so I don't imagine she will be ready to go until the very last minute (if then!). She will be excited & terrified, so I expect that means she will be moody ... so the trip might be a bit strained. But the 2 days we have with her for move-in will help ease all of that. She will have time to get settled, and we will have time to say a civil farewell. I can guarantee that I will cry on the way home ... I will miss her tremendously, but I am also ready for her to move into this new phase of her life.</p>
<p>I would like to hear from any parents whose child flew up to college, as opposed to being driven. There is a good possibility my son will be flying up, taking some stuff with him at that time and having the rest sent - either by us, or from a store (such as some of his bedding, etc.).</p>
<p>Any comments as to how this worked out would be really appreciated! </p>
<p>Thanks in advance (and yup, this is my first post!). The summer is flying by and it's really starting to hit me that he's leaving in 6 weeks!</p>
<p>We will be doing the airline juggling thing in a few weeks. D flies up to school orientation with one suitcase plus the backpack for the outdoor orientation. H and I follow the next week with 2 huge (watch for that 50 lb limit) checked bags each and a tiny carry-on for our own stuff. We hope that on the return we can stuff the smaller bags into the bigger and haul them home empty. Will leave a couple of duffels/smashable bags for her use later. Spring moveout may be bad... we have family within 4 hours drive so perhaps can prevail upon them to store thigs for the summer? Don't forget that boxes can be checked as baggage and then broken down and stored flat.
What doesn't fit into the baggage will be bought en route: stop off at Target for laundry detergent, etc.
I'm sure we are forgetting something important....</p>
<p>jhumom
have done the fly/move in scenario many times here.
2 parents plus kid equals 6 bags allowed.
Send stuff ahead to the college according to their allowed schedule (website will generally tell you when they start accepting packages)
Use a service like Bed Bath and Beyonds to preorder stuff near home and pick up at the location close to the school (assumes you have the stores available)
Really,you need a car available on the college end of the trip to lug stuff around,make a run to stores for forgotten stuff
Look for summer storage options after the school year is over.S is storing stuff with another kid at a Public Storage near the campus.Its costing each of them about 100 for the 4 months, and they packed mucho stuff into the smallest unit available,including two bikes,TV's,mini fridges,etc.There's enough kids with cars on campus to lug the stuff over to storage.They all do each other favors.
If you feel like the bedding stuff you prebuy needs laundering before you or your kid makes their bed,use the dorms laundry room..nobody else will be down there guaranteed!!</p>
<p>More than likely my son will be flying up on his own, so that will affect the logistics of it all even more. I know lots of kids do so every year, but still trying to get as much useful info to help as possible.</p>
<p>well that does complicate things a bit!
you'll have to ship as much as humanly possible to the school ahead of time
the stores will hold pack and ship as well,saving the trip to the big box stores
I've been to Johns Hopkins (Im assuming thats what jhu means?) but cant recollect whether the neighborhood would be condusive to a kid getting what he needs w/o a car,or does the school run shuttles for shopping needs (many schools do this).
I'm sure once he's there he'll meet kids with cars as well.</p>
<p>Look at <a href="http://www.madpackers.com%5B/url%5D">www.madpackers.com</a>. I saw this on a TV show. This is a service that sends you the packing materials to your home. It picks the packed boxes up at your house. It delivers them to your student's dorm. It includes insurance on the boxes.</p>
<p>I understand that it is co-ordinated so that it gets there and is on site when the student arrives. I think that the TV article said that the service can make arrangements with the college to have the boxes in the DORM room when the student arrives.</p>
<p>There are lists all over CC and the web of what to bring to college. Also, my S's college has a list at its website of what is provided, allowed and disallowed. Also, many schools' websites have an interactive tour of the rooms in the dorms. I looked at that to see anything that is in all the example rooms. For instance, all the rooms had fans which made me start looking into why (is there airconditioning).</p>
<p>For the actual move in, I recommend that you send a basic tool kit. Other musts for that day are all the cables, cords and gizmos needed to hook up the computer.</p>
<p>My S already knows several upper classmen (girls actually) at the school that he will attend. They have cars. Probably your S will either know or quickly meet someone with a car and he can arrange a trip to get anything he can't live without.</p>
<p>Also, most move-in dates are nearly a week before class starts. If nothing else, your S will have time to locate stores either near campus or on a bus or public transportation line.</p>
<p>Some guidance please. Boys received housing assignments at Duke. They are in different dorms, but they have the same move-in time. My H and I will be there to help, but I would like to make this as stress-free as possible. </p>
<p>Any words of wisdom?</p>
<p>Thanks. I'm starting to feel like we are the only parents that may not be physically taking our kid to school, even though I know we aren't!! My biggest concern is that he not be overloaded for the trip between the airport & the school. </p>
<p>He's pretty resourceful and easygoing, so I'm not concerned about him finding anything he does need, but most everything can either go with him or sent other than things such as laundry soap, drinks and such.</p>
<p>The tool kit is a great idea and something we thought of months ago but didn't write down!</p>
<p>Relax. There will be a score of very nice sophomores who are assigned to all the new freshmen who will be around to meet you, and everyone is very cordial and helpful. My son's FAC also made a point of dropping by again to see how things were going as we unpacked his stuff, and dropped by to speak to my son a couple times first semester..nice guy! Your sons will each will have a FAC assigned to them, who will be standing around the premises to shake hands with you, welcome you, and will likely send himself or another sophomore along with you to unload your car and start carrying stuff upstairs. It is the FACs job to make sure that each "wave" of parents get in and out with ease so that the drop off zone is clear for the next appointed hour. It is safe to dump stuff on a pile and take up the most valuable things first. There will be FACs around to see that the things on the pile are OK/safe while you come and go with loads. We found that taking cheap plastic bins and crates up with us helped and then we returned home with the empty bins. There will be a lot of discarded cardboard piling up everywhere.
Move the furniture around to suit the two room occupants first. This meant for us that we had to step out and let the boys who had just met take the lead and shove things around and discuss where they preferred things.<br>
(We had an A/C installed due to allergies and it was blowing on the poor nice roommate's bed over his face..so we had to make an instant decision..after trying to reconfigure the beds and chests and even going to the floor beneath to see how the exact same room was being set up by girls in the same footprint...we had to decide unexpectedly to buy our son a loft (our son's room was smaller but still nice..some of the rooms are quite large). That way he could move his desk/chest under it and nice roommate could move his bed to a decent location from the rumble and cold from the A/C. There are one or two loft companies sitting on the lawn and they will send a crew over and build it for you on appointment usually within 24 hours.
Wear tennis shoes and clothes you can sweat in. My son was not happy he had to loft but it was the right thing to do, and he grew to like retreating to his loft to sleep.
Set up a room window fan first thing! Place a second quiet smaller fan on your son's desk..preferably one that rotates.. If you are in only one car, unload at the first designated place, leave a parent and the son assigned to that building to carry stuff up as a twosome with his FAC and friends. The other parent can move the car to the second location. You are supposed to basically put all your stuff on a heap in front of the dorm and then go park your car in a designated area. You should also have a pass as a new parent to hang on your rearview mirror to make sure no one mistakes you for someone who is parking illegally. I have also left my cell number and the words Parent Class of Blank, Moving in today...on a card inside my windshield when I have felt queasy about parking or ticketing.<br>
The directions for Bed Bath and Beyond and Target are handed out, but you might want to just do that on Mapquest.
happy for your boys! They are going to love East!</p>
<p>Welcome, proudinnj!</p>
<p>Yes, I am pleased to say that S is one of those helpful sophomores who will be there to help at Duke.</p>
<p>S lived in Randolph: famously small rooms! 4 parents, 2 boys and way too many boxes and suitcases made it an urgent necessity to just empty all the containers and get them out of there so anyone could move around!</p>
<p>We found that using bed raisers allowed room to store much stuff, and the boys decided not to loft.</p>
<p>After a great first year, S is very much looking forward to returning. I trust your family's experience will be much the same. Feel free to PM if you wish.</p>
<p>~mafool</p>
<p>a resource you should consider is the roommate's parents - I would certainly be willing to help my child's roommate with errands etc if I knew ahead of time -</p>
<p>I posted this much earlier, elsewhere.</p>
<p>The night before we were to leave for Durham to drop S off for his freshman year, I sat with him on the couch and mentioned that, after tomorrow, nothing would be quite the same, but that his dad and I would always be there to support, to listen, to help, to love him. Then I said something that ended up helping ME a great deal.</p>
<p>I told him that I had loved being his mother.</p>
<p>As we drove the 14 hours to Durham and as I was sitting in the back of the van, I thought about that. I HAVE loved being his mother, and I am very grateful for all that has meant. I was also grateful for the fantastic opportunities that were unfolding before him.I found that gratitude and sadness for MY loss couldn't both fit in my heart at the same time. Much to my surprise, I did not shed a tear that entire trip.</p>
<p>I hope this may help at least one other parent.</p>
<p>JHUmom, as a freshman I was flown to college, 8 hours from home, from a family beach vacation with a little suitcase that had shared the car trunk with 4 others. Maybe I had a set of sheets, can't recall. My older brother was a senior there so arrived by car a few days later with both sets of stuff. He was very grumpy about it. </p>
<p>This does make me wonder if there might be any upperclass students you'd trust to drive up some more stuff after orientation. You could pay them to deliver it. Advertise it online on the student job website, which your kid already has access to by his password. </p>
<p>Or, if you're worried about the trip from airport to campus being overloaded,
you can buy rolling wheel dollies to strap on boxes, or purchase another large rolling wheel suitcase to use instead of boxes.</p>
<p>Although he might be a bit lonely, he'll also be the envy of many whose parents are pulling on them much too hard during the first day(s) when parents are allowed to be present.</p>
<p>OP - Twice, there was a moment that said, "He/she will be just fine." My S carried up a mini-fridge from his grandma, who rents bedrooms to college students, so she collects these when they abandon them on move out-day. Talk whirled around us of prep schools and big city magnet schools. S smiled broadly, pointed to the souvenir refrigerator magnet from his very ordinary rural public school. He joked to the others, "I went to a magnet school, too!" Then I knew he'd be okay.</p>
<p>With D we were in a crowd transitioning from being families to being "families with a kid away at college." We hugged each other to pieces, but then a microphone came on announcing the next set of directions for students to the next student event. Pulled like a moth to a flame, I could see that she wanted to hear the directions, so we said goodbye to the back of her long hair. Then I knew she'd be okay.</p>
<p>mafool says:"I told him that I had loved being his mother.
As we drove the 14 hours to Durham and as I was sitting in the back of the van, I thought about that. I HAVE loved being his mother, and I am very grateful for all that has meant. I was also grateful for the fantastic opportunities that were unfolding before him.I found that gratitude and sadness for MY loss couldn't both fit in my heart at the same time. Much to my surprise, I did not shed a tear that entire trip."</p>
<p>Well - altho I dropped my son 4 years ago - I cried today reading this!! thank you for sharing.</p>
<p>OK....Be gentle with me as this is my one and only! Information says freshmen are to arrive between 8 AM and noon and parents/families are to leave by 5 PM. Underclassmen are available to help unload, which sounds like a great tradition! I am not aware of any planned activities for parents. I'm assuming during that time frame we unpack, make up the bed and help get organized....meet the roommate/family and maybe go out for lunch. How long does the unpacking/getting organized thing take? What can be done ahead of time to alleviate some of the inevitable stress? Should we plan to arrive near the arrival time or a bit later? Other words of wisdom from the vets??</p>
<p>Beil1958-</p>
<p>It was our one-and-only that we took to college last fall. I get it.</p>
<p>I suggest you arrive before the start time; a line of cars will probably form. The time to organize will vary, of course, with the student. I found that our S was happy to let me put things away in drawers and under-bed storage units just to get everything out of the way. I was a little surprised, because he's independent and can get touchy about it if under stress.</p>
<p>We transported things in the plastic storage units, so it did make it easy to whisk things into a semblance of order. We did not do this, but taking clothes already on hangers speeds unpacking/putting away, too.</p>
<p>You may want to make a Target/Walmart type of trip in the afternoon. Don't be surprised if the new college student doesn't want to go along.</p>
<p>After 5pm comes and goes, think about finding a glass of wine, or whatever you like to do/have to relax!</p>
<p>jhumom </p>
<p>Unless your S is going to have more than 2 checked bags (and pay dearly for the extra weight), he can probably handle getting them from the baggage claim area to the public transportation/taxi/limo area of the airport.</p>
<p>If you have a great concern, you can call the airport general information number and see if you can get the name of a licensed limo service that can pick-up inside at the airport. An airport limo service can also be found online.</p>
<p>You probably have seen men (and women) waiting at the baggage claim area or right outside the security area with signs with names on them. Those are limo drivers. They can be there waiting for your S and assist with getting the bags into the limo. </p>
<p>You might ask your S if he is agreeable to this. He may have some hesitation about arriving at college in a limo. Most 18 year old males can get 2 bags and a back pack to the cab/shuttle stand. Your S may think that is something he can handle.</p>
<p>Rest assured that you are not the only person to ever send their S to college on a plane without accompanying him. As an observation, many freshmen seem to wish their parents didn't come with them to avoid the emotional scene that has been discribed on this thread.</p>
<p>Thanks, blucroo (I just read your post of 7/12 -- a bit late!) I love acappella, and hope they'll be performing at matriculation! Will you fly in with her this year?</p>
<p>In general, S. has made it clear he's ready to go. Sometimes pleasant, sometimes not. Impatient with family. Busy with two jobs, running, gym, friends, etc. We see him when he comes into the kitchen to feed. I get the impression he is probably feeling stifled here (can't help but visualize Rodney Dangerfield, tugging at his shirt collar). Am counting on this to make the goodbyes easier.</p>