…my response right now is to say, 'I get it…who can blame you? But look at the great choices you do have…"
But I can’t show my true feelings…which are qualms even greater than what she has 
she’s turning down some great schools that she & i both loved (uchicago, unc-chapel hill, tufts) because we don’t have enough money to send her there.
Honestly, I’ll feel better when the clock strikes midnight tomorrow…then the decision is out of our hands! And onto the future!
OP, I’ve seen your posts but don’t recall where she ended up choosing. Is it the state school? I also saw your list and what the cost would be at the various places she was accepted. To me, turning down Chicago, UNC and Tufts is really a no-brainer. (And FWIW, D was accepted to UNC also but it came off of the list when FA came in.) You and your D are not alone!
I feel your pain. S is taking his time, too. I think his choice will be different than what my choice for him would be. Once he makes it, however, I am going to be 100% behind him and no looking back.
He also has great choices. Any one of them would work.
If you can’t afford it then you can’t afford it (unless the money fairy pays you a visit 
).
D also was admitted into an unaffordable college. It was probably a very good fit in terms of academics, location and environment. However, when the COA came in too high, it came off the list for any further consideration.
As @“Erin’s Dad” said, if you can’t afford it, well, you can’t afford it. No use having qualms about those schools.
I hope your daughter warms to her pick.
SouthernHope- where did your D end up choosing?
I know this is a hard decision. You are not alone though. I think many parents go through the same thing. I do think that after the “college talk” settles down, and she gets into her college life, this will settle down too. It is likely that she will meet others who made a similar decision.
She’s a bright kid, and I have seen bright kids in all colleges. Also, academically challenging classes exist at most colleges too. She can choose to stretch herself. By taking the less expensive route, you might also be able to help her with experiences like study abroad and some travel which may have been unaffordable otherwise.
Looks like her D is going to Georgia Tech from other threads.