<p>My D accepted and sent deposit at school. It was always conditional on scholarships and aid. That was fine but now she is having second thoughts. What do I do if her final choice (due by Monday for National Merit) changes??? How can I handle with school so if she is ready the next year she might could transfer? All that is going on in the news has made her second guess going so far away. Advice/thoughts?</p>
<p>I think "buyers remorse" occurs often. She might be having the same doubts if she had chosen school B.</p>
<p>My tendency would be to remain calm and to express confidence that she made the right choice for her.</p>
<p>I would not look into transfer possibilities.</p>
<p>A lot of scholarships are Freshman scholarships and you have to maintain a certain average to keep them.If you transfer you may not find as much money available at the new school. I would go visit the college with her again and try to make the college sche chooses the right choice.</p>
<p>Hmmm let's see -- it took six months to decide on the school and sixty hours to dread the decision. Sounds like classic "cold feet" syndrome. I'm sure she'll be fine at the school she accepted, as she would be at the schools she declined. IMHO this is one situation your D has to work through herself.</p>
<p>Second thoughts are totally normal. Don't get worried about it, and remind your daughter of all the wonderful reasons why she chose the school she did.</p>
<p>A student should never go into a college with the idea to transfer. Do not let her go off to college with that mentality.</p>
<p>My opinion for what it's worth,
I don't want to raise fearful children. I don't want my kids to be afraid of things like terrorism and senseless acts. Do they occur? Yes. But I don't want their decisions about what to do, where to go (within reason, of course) to be swayed by the one in a million chance that something could go wrong. I have a mom who is frightened of planes, frightened of foreign countries, frightened of the beach (sharks!), frightened of lakes (alligators!), the list goes on and on. Frankly, I'm surprised I'm not totally neurotic.</p>
<p>But if the only reason your daughter is having buyer's remorse is because of the VT incident, I would tell my own in this situation to chin up and not let the b*****ds get you down.</p>
<p>Regarding national merit finalist decisions -- According to p. 3 of this <a href="http://www.nationalmerit.org/Merit_R&I_Leaflet.pdf%5B/url%5D">http://www.nationalmerit.org/Merit_R&I_Leaflet.pdf</a> you can change your top choice of school by April 25 - and the change includes going from a choice to undecided - but you must indicate your choice by May 31.</p>
<p>These are the rules of the National Merit Scholar Corporation, not a particular university's rules -- those might be different.</p>
<p>And I disagree with the idea that the student shouldn't go off with the idea that she can transfer. In fact, this might take some pressure off during this very stressful time. The decision to transfer will only arise if there are problems next year. You can calmly admit that, yes, maybe she will transfer, as many students do. But don't talk about it much.</p>
<p>People who are able to adapt to any circumstance are often very successful in their personal and professional lives.</p>
<p>CC parents called this the 'bloom where you are planted' message. jamimom called those kids the 'dandelions', the ones that bloom wherever they are planted. Raising a dandelion is a worthwhile endeavor.</p>
<p>If she were my D, that would be my message;ie "You made that choice for college? For your job? For your husband? For your friendships? For your business? Don't chuck it. Find a way to make the most of it."</p>
<p>What cheers said. </p>
<p>Sure, it is possible to transfer (I did; and my S did because he had to, after Katrina). But put that in the back, the way back, of your mind. Transferring has it's own significant adjustment challenges. And, as someone above said, those wanting or needing scholarship $$ will find far fewer fertile fields for transfers. Far fewer. This I know from personal experience. Some money is there for transfers, but in many fewer places and extremely limited in the realm of merit $$.</p>
<p>Go with the idea that your choice will be wonderful. Realize that cold feet or buyer's remorse-in-advance is normal. Remember that there are many schools (far more than one) which can yield a great experience. Assume that this will happen - that you will bloom where you are planted - at the school where you start.</p>
<p>And people who know how to change rather than adapt are also very successful. It's really not one or the other. Too many people trudge through life, "dealing" with what they once chose. 20th century literature (and life) are full of the stories of people who felt trapped. A willingness to make changes, to seek new environments where one might bloom more, is a sign of resilience and creativity.</p>
<p>On the other hand...this kid has cold feet and that's normal and it probably will fade. But then again, the message to make the best of every situation doesn't work in every situation. Sometimes the husband is abusive. Sometimes the employer is a control freak or incompetent. Sometimes the career is not what you want and you will do better doing something else.</p>