Dare I go down this somewhat slippery slope?

Applying to College
1

<p>All right. College consultants, coaches, whatever you want to call them. Up 'til today, I've been against them. I still am, though only to an extent. Here's the thing.</p>

<p>I honestly don't think I need one, and I don't want one. I really, truly only want to get in on my own merit. The most help I want to get is maybe send the essay to people whose opinions I respect and ask them if my essay makes sense.</p>

<p>But my parents recently received contact information for a college coach who's supposed to help with the essay. My dad really wants me to try it out. I gave him all my arguments over dinner, and he blew up at me. He's doing what he always does when he gets mad; he holes himself up in some room, and occasionally, when he's thought up of a good argument, comes to holler at me and then tell me to not even speak to him the moment he's done hollering at me. There is absolutely no talking to him about this rationally; the damage has already been done.</p>

<p>His arguments are: 1) If I don't like the advice, I don't have to take it, and he's willing to spend the money, 2) He doesn't want me losing any opportunities, and 3) It doesn't hurt to do it.</p>

<p>I just feel that I'm going to be in danger the moment she starts voicing her opinions about my essay. I really don't want to be influenced in any way, and I just know that when she starts to say something like, "Your point of view here...," that opinion is going to get stuck in my head and drive me crazy. I've chosen a topic unique to me, and it's very, very personal. I want to be in control of who reads my essay. And, after all, I'm the one applying to college. </p>

<p>I don't want my dad ripping up five 100-dollar bills in his fury, but I don't want to compromise my integrity either because if I go with this thing, I'll always have the secret knowledge of what I did.</p>

<p>Maybe I'm being paranoid and should just do it?</p>

2

<p>Haha, I had the same problem. In the end I'm still just writing it by myself after blowing 4-5 $70 sessions haha.</p>

<p>Look, just explain to them what you think, then say "if you want, I'll take it though."</p>

<p>They'll give you something about "we're doing it for YOU, not the other way around you UNGRATEFUL CHILD" etc etc.</p>

<p>It's not that helpful anyways, so do what you gotta do. I hated the tone my coach put in mine, and I basically just started editing out his words and putting my own back in.</p>

3

<p>I actually think that its admirable that you want to take the process on your own. In fact, if you wrote an essay on this incident you'd prolly get some points for character and independence. Lol.</p>

4

<p>I don't see why you don't want someone who is experienced in evaluating college essays assess yours. He just might come up with something that you overlooked. You might agree with him. If you have the maturity, you should be able to just go over the suggestions with him, and take only those you like. And be sure to thank your parents for the idea even if you don't feel it helped you a bit. It wouldn't do a bit of good for family peace if you go through the process and then spit in your dad's face. Gracious does it.</p>

<p>Just as an aside, a friend of my son's let me read her essay. Not to correct, but just for an affirmative comment. There were several sentences in it that could have been interpreted several ways. Also she brought up a topic that could have brought some negative speculation on the part of the reader if he did not know the writer. I don't think she appreciated my remarks at first, but after bringing up those points to a friend who agreed with my assessment, she did change the essay, and later thanked me.</p>

5

<p>I'm a parent here who's just been through this decision with my d a year ago. Its unfair that the current generation is so "squeezed" by the competition for admissions that your academic work alone can't get you into selective colleges, but it is a cold hard fact. Please understand that as a parent, the hardest thing to do is watch your hard-working kid not get rewarded with the admission offer they want/deserve. My D was lucky, but we are still shocked at results by kids we knew were deserving who weren't so lucky. I have a few thoughts for you as to whether there might be value for you (or might not be value) in doing as your Dad has suggested:</p>

<ol>
<li><p>The WRITING is not what you need/should get help with. It should be 100% your writing and ideas. Surely your ap english teacher can help you proofread, your parents, etc. The most important thing about the essay: what to write. The topic you choose for your app is an application strategy. You must have some strong ideas about what are your best assets as a candidate for the schools you are applying to, but a professional counselor can help see things objectively and perhaps refine the strategy behind your topic with knowledge of the respective school. Ideally, the counselor should help you EVALUATE the relative merit of your topic for your colleges. He/she may know the "personality" of the college a little better, or may see something in your profile that would appeal to that college.</p></li>
<li><p>It also has to be the right counselor for you-- someone you connect to immediately, as you have no time to waste. A phone call from you to the counselor should be done before starting this process. Set the right expectations for yourself, the counselor, and your parents. </p></li>
<li><p>If you find value in the first session to familiarize your goals with counselor, one to discuss/strategize essay topics, and then one or two to critique/discuss first drafts of essays. You must be 100% in agreement with any advice you take on the topics. It is something you don't want to let other people decide, as it is your future at stake. </p></li>
<li><p>There is also a "final look" once the rest of the app is done, the essay should be looked at in the context of the academic record, ecs, leadership, comm service. You may choose to do this with the counselor, or perhaps someone else entirely. At the end, you should feel like you are represented well by the complete package. </p></li>
<li><p>For people who don't have the $$ for this resource or who can't find someone they want to work with, a favorite writing teacher, an older sibling, best friend, or a parent combined with a great guidance counselor can also work.</p></li>
</ol>

6

<p>"And be sure to thank your parents for the idea even if you don't feel it helped you a bit."</p>

<p>I'll be sure to keep this in mind. I know my family has problems with communications. We all feel wronged when there's an argument.</p>

<p>"If you have the maturity, you should be able to just go over the suggestions with him, and take only those you like."</p>

<p>To spare my dad the heartache, I think I am going to sit down with this coach and see how it works out. The thing is, I've already written several drafts of my essay. I changed topics several times and eventually wrote two different drafts for the same topic, which I think is the "real" one this time. My being so defensive may have something to do with how personal I've always considered my non-school related writing (especially the college essay, because unlike my creative writing, this is actually about me). I'm used to being haunted by my dad's suggestions and eventually going with them in the end. I'm afraid that I'll be haunted by a piece of advice that I didn't think would help at first and then second-guessing myself for the rest of the process.</p>

<p>If that made any sense.</p>