<p>I am so mad I don't know what to do. I've told them 5334543 times to stay out of it but they just can't step away for more than 10 hours. They're telling me where to apply, and if I don't have a certain essay due by THEIR deadline, they just write it. And I hate what they write, first of all they shouldn't even be writing my essays and their essays suck. I keep telling them not to, but they WON'T STOP. They keep saying if I want to write my essays I should, but it TAKES TIME to write a good essay. I'm working on my own, but apparently they can't wait that long and keep writing my essays for me. Two of my apps they already just submitted without even telling me. AKLFJASFJAS WHAT DO I DO HOW CAN THEY JUST STAY OUT IT'S MYYYY COLLEGE.</p>
<p>Yikes. As a parent, some input is necessary. It’s OK to proofread the application for typos. When you have looked at something so many times, you don’t see them. Parents can help with obvious grammar errors, typos, or give an opinion, but the essays need to be your work, words, and your voice. Parents need to have some input to where you apply to be sure they can afford it, and, since they pay for it, have some say so about your choices, but hopefully this can be a cooperative effort, not have it all decided for you. You can submit the application with them there so they can put in the credit card info, but they should not submit it without your knowledge.</p>
<p>Applying to college is the start of you being on your own. It’s a transition- and hard because you both need to be in the process together. They can nag, suggest, or whatever, but there needs to be a line- and that’s the essays. Grades, classes, names, addresses, - that’s generic information on an application. The essay is uniquely yours and should be your work. </p>
<p>Can your family afford a professional college counselor? Your parents are concerned you may not be able to do it well on your own. A counselor can alleviate their fears by taking over as a coach in the process. Can you ask a teacher to read your essays? This way your parents can be assured that they have been proofread. </p>
<p>I don’t know what to tell them- but start with this. Whoever reads your essay had read hundreds of them. They know the voice of a 17 year old from the voice of an adult. Your parents are not helping if they write your essays. You could compromise with an agreement to adhere to their deadline if they don’t write essays or submit without you. They’re just not ready to turn it all over to you, and they don’t have to as long as it’s your work, they can have some input.</p>
<p>Would they listen to your guidance counselor if he/she explained the harm they’re doing? Their meddling could get you rejected now or rescinded in the future, if you’ve signed the applications saying it’s your own work. Either you or your counselor could report them to the colleges.</p>
<p>As a last resort, could you let them apply to all kinds of schools you don’t want to attend while you secretly work on the applications you care about?</p>
<p>haha oh wow my parents don’t even know what an SAT is</p>
<p>sorry man lolol</p>
<p>I would email any colleges were they sent something you don’t like and tell them the situation. Like, if there was an essay you didn’t like or something on those two they sent just email it. See if you can change your common app password and go work on it in the library at school or something. If they try to get a new college on your list, tell them that it is too late for scholarships, or honors college, or something so you can take it off. Just get your stuff done, turn it in, and then be done and relax, haha.</p>
<p>And then, if you want to go to a college they don’t want you to go to, you may have to pay/get scholarships/take out loans, but go where you want to, not where they want you to. You have to go for four years, not them.</p>
<p>Well, your parents are apparently interfering busybodies … :-)</p>
<p>Here’s what I’d suggest you do:
(1) get your counselor to talk to them (as someone suggested);
(2) take charge, make a plan, and give it to them, tell them firmly but politely that you want to do it yourself, they can help but you’re in charge;
(3) give them an ultimatum, say that you’ll refuse to go to any college where they’ve interfered or “helped” beyond your tolerance.</p>
<p>Some of my son’s friends are struggling because their parents are providing no help at all, whether it’s selecting colleges, figuring out finances, or reviewing the application. I don’t know which is worse. But if you can turn it around and get your parents to help in the right way, you’ll be in a great place.</p>
<p>My parents are like johnnyzxz’s. They don’t understand the process at all. It’s frustrating. </p>
<p>OP: I would suggest taking exstudent’s advice.</p>
<p>Do you parents support cheating? That’s exactly what they’re doing by writing your essays for you, to say nothing of submitting your applications for you. Beyond the fact that the essay won’t have your “voice,” there seems to be a real disconnect here regarding academic integrity. </p>
<p>While I agree parents often have a say in where kids apply and in consideration of the final decision based on costs to attend etc, at some point they have to realize this isn’t their life. If you are not happy, their money will be wasted. </p>
<p>First and foremost, change your password to your common application. Unless you’re applying to schools with rolling admissions (where it is indeed true that the early birds tend to get the worms) or early action with deadlines, there is no real advantage to just getting your application in. It’s better to make sure every t is crossed and i dotted before dashing it off.</p>
<p>Honestly, I think it’s bad enough when parents write their kids’ essays in concert with the kid. I admit I read my kids’ essays for content and grammar (making sure they were saying what they had hoped to relay and making sure the grammar was correct) and I admit there were a few things I might have changed, but all I could do was suggest and at the end of the day, I wanted them to own the process AND their acceptances!</p>
<p>Yep… change the password. Tell them you will let them review all applications before you submit, but this has to be YOUR journey now.</p>
<p>My parents are a combination of OP’s parents and johnnyxx’s parents. They don’t know anything, but want to control everything. I just stopped telling them things. I submitted my apps without them knowing until I needed payment.</p>