Does it all depend on the person? Or should we enjoy our 4 years?
On an extra note, I’m not promoting hookups at all, but simple friendships and making memories is important to me, which is why I’m not focused on dating just yet, unless if something special comes along…
It varies by person. My older kid met her boyfriend and started dating him freshman year. 10 years later they are engaged to be married. They were a good influence on each other academically, too. Both graduated Phi Beta Kappa. She still has tons of friends from college — you can date AND have other good friends.
Second kid dated a couple people in college (each for a semester). Every semester she was in a relationship, her grades dipped. She got tired of the drama and just enjoyed time with friends (and a higher GPA) her last few semesters.
It really does depend on the person. I went into freshman year not expecting anything to happen relationship-wise; I hadn’t had a significant other in high school. But then I made friends with a guy and we started dating that November and now we are looking for grad schools in the same city so we can share an apartment.
To me that’s a part of “enjoying our 4 years”, and we’ve made many happy memories together so far. Don’t focus on it (as far as I can tell, people who want to date will do so but relationships won’t come as naturally), just do you and see what opportunities emerge.
There was a survey awhile back that 28% of married people found their mate at college. Opportunity is definitely there but I agree with @GoatGirl19 it depends on the person. Some long term college relationships last and some fizzle when the real world calls. So just join in on all the activities, make friends and do what you want to do. If there is a relationship to be had it will come when you least expect it
Depends on the person. Dating and enjoying your 4 years are not mutually exclusive. I’m married to my college bf and he made the experience infinitely more enjoyable.
@readthetealeaves
That would be impressive given that not that many people have gone to college.
College years are the best! Have fun and make memories! You could try going on dates to get experience, but if you’re not ready for it now just be friends.
It is perfectly fine not to make dating a centerpiece of your college experience, many people stress out too much over this point – so props for you. However like other people said dating and fun are not mutually exclusive. College may be a good time to try out new things because you are with a bunch of people with the same age and likely similar interests as you. For what it’s worth, I did not start dating until junior year of college – but since have been in happy relationships since.
It all depends. My S met his gf the second week of college. They have been together all year, both got 4.0s and pushed each other to study. Both are in the Greek system and have tons of friends. So he has a gf and has had a great time his first year of college. I think my son would like this relationship to continue and so far she does too. They are both pre-professional so have long roads ahead and like that the other understands this. Enjoy, date or don’t date just don’t let it or anything else overwhelm that you are there to learn.
D and her boyfriend got together at the very end of freshman year, and have been together a year at the same school. They hang out with a group of friends all the time. D made Dean’s List and recieved honors in her foreign language class. It really is about what you want. If you meet someone who makes you feel good about yourself, I suspect you will feel motivated. If you meet someone who drags you down, you will realize it quickly enough. And if you have a good group of friends, that might be all you need or want. There’s no right answer.
College is a bit different in that having an SO doesn’t necessarily have the social currency that it does in high school. Do what you want when it feels right to you.
“There was a survey awhile back that 28% of married people found their mate at college.”
"@readthetealeaves
That would be impressive given that not that many people have gone to college.
@romanigypsyeyes --lol your comment made me think back to where I had read that factoid. It was USA today but it was 28% of Facebook users married their college mate and 15% of Facebookers married their high school sweetheart. Now this was 2013. You get the idea though that I was trying to convey. Lots of people meet their spouse in college and many lots do not. The OP should just see what happens and put no pressure either way. I agree that dating and enjoying your four years are not mutually exclusive, congrats to meeting your husband at yours
Ah found it. 28% of married graduates went to the same university as their spouse.
Given the population parameters of the survey, I’m surprised it’s that low.
Yes, enjoy your four years! You’re only young once, no need to rush into a marriage.
I dated off an on during college. I enjoyed the times when I had a steady boyfriend I liked, I enjoyed the times when I casually went out with guys I didn’t see as future relationships, and I enjoyed the times when I wasn’t dating anyone.
Don’t let whether or not you’re dating define who you are.
I just do not get this sentiment. Personally, I don’t care whether people marry or not. Do whatever makes you happy.
But why on earth do people make it seem like the fun or your youth stops when you say “I do”? I married relatively young (24- right after getting my masters) and we’ve arguably had more fun and carefree experiences since we married. Nice perk to being out of college is that we have money to do things like travel and enjoy new experiences.
@romanigypsyeyes- My point is if it happens for the right reasons, excellent! But people shouldn’t feel pressured to rush into it if they don’t want to and later regret it.