<p>The inherent problem with this whole analogy is you’re equating love to the desire for food. Your analogy holds only when a relationship is nothing but pure animal desire, as is food (for the most part). Love/emotions cannot be in the picture for your analogy to work, so like I said, only if you’ve never experienced real love or are a sociopath. Hormones are real (and VERY powerful), so honestly you have a lot to learn if you think you can disregard them in the context of normal, healthy human beings.</p>
<p>Believe me, at first when I was dating, I always thought I’d want to keep an open relationship, because from my dating experience I knew I would always desire others. But in my current one, it was me who first brought up wanting the relationship to be exclusive (because I had these ‘strange’ feelings that I wanted us to be a perfect binary pair, and I didn’t care to even look at another girl). Sure, in past relationships I viewed my girl as very attractive from an animal desire point of view, but until now it lacked this sense that I didn’t want anyone but her ever (and the same is true for my current GF).</p>
<p>Let me put it this way, since you seem to like analogies. Imagine sitting in a restaurant, eating the most amazing food - there’s so much, I can eat all I feel like. And it tastes good - better than anything I could imagine. If for some reason I’m even looking up from my amazing food, sure, I may notice a nice looking cheesecake, but I’m sure not going to want to jump over to another table and grab that cheesecake when that food in front of me has completely satisfied me 100%.</p>
<p>Most importantly though, what you’re missing is that due to hormones, etc. my girl suddenly becomes better in my eyes than anything else in the world, whether it really is or not, and I lose all desire for others. These ‘hormones’ persist even if we are apart, because they are so powerful they become a part of who you are eventually.</p>
<p>I guess since we’re talking about feelings here, all you can do is take my word for this - because other than reading my mind I guess there’s no proof. All it makes me think of I guess is that you certainly must have never experienced a relationship that felt anything like mine. If that’s the case, by all means keep an open relationship until you find the girl that does finally make you feel this way.</p>
<p>As to exactly why people don’t do well in relationships (even ones with plenty of love), I have theories. First, people are scarred from past breakups or cheating - kind of lose faith in love. But probably most important, guys these days don’t realize enough the importance of mutual respect in a relationship. Guys are too submissive, and girls are often too petty / disrespectful.</p>
<p>I’ve known so many couples where a girl disrespects (subtly but genuinely, other times pretty blatantly) her boyfriend so often it’s ridiculous. But nobody seems to notice it or care, and when they break up a year or two later violently, people act like it’s a surprise. I absolutely do not tolerate this, and certainly wouldn’t remain in an exclusive relationship if my partner was disrespectful to me - and I fully expect that my partner would act the same if I disrespected her (because how can you fully love someone you don’t respect?)</p>