<p>
True. Perhaps I’m too optimistic to think young girls/guys should seek out the mature guys/girls for relationships in college (unless you want friends-with-benefits only, in which case it doesn’t matter), but then I’ve always been a generally non-compromising optimist.</p>
<p>sup guys!!</p>
<p>I tend to think that if you are selective in who you date you’ll find the ones who are interested in more than a friends-with-benefits sort of deal, and you may even find those men are less rare than you might have suspected. My use of the word “selective” is not meant to imply that men who are only interested in friends-with-benefits are inferior, but I think women have a tendency to let their insecurity push them into accepting a relationship with someone that isn’t really what they want in the hopes that it will change, or out of immaturity they get involved with someone without making their partner discuss intentions and assume their partner wants what they want only to be disappointed later-- both of which are tragic wastes of time, and after wasting weeks of your time with several men this way it would seem the ones willing to commit aren’t there even though they are. If you don’t do that sort of thing and you are upfront about what you want and you go for it, it makes it a lot easier to find real committed relationships, if that’s what you want. In my experience, more people (even men) are attracted to the security and comfort that comes from a committed relationship than popular culture seems to acknowledge.</p>
<p>Of course, men are capable of making the same mistakes. That just doesn’t seem to be what we are talking about here.</p>
<p>I’ve been with my girlfriend for 3 years, starting from the first week of school our freshman year. We’re very happy. I would consider it a serious relationship. I’ve seen many more serious relationships fail around me. Long term working relationships fail in college because most people are too immature for them to work when they get into college. I don’t encourage people to pursue things like my relationship- but ruling them out entirely is absolutely ridiculous.</p>
<p>And no, cheating is not an inevitability. BigEastBeast is either making excuses for himself and knows better, or has weak impulse control.</p>
<p>^ When did I say it was an inevitablity?</p>
<p>At the very most, Imay have implied it was a probability, at least for college males who are capable of getting attention from other desireable females.</p>
<p>So I think my original statement is still pretty accurate…as opportunity increases, faithfullness decreases, and as we all know there is lots of opportunity in college (with the exception of most CC posters, who are socially-damaged losers who could never get a girlfriend, let alone cheat on one).</p>
<p>Besides, the majority of college aged males prefer to have a selection of girls over just one. Some find themselves in relationships they enjoy and stick with them, most, at this age do not.</p>
<p>So suck it.</p>
<p>The suck it was a little unnecessary.</p>
<p>Seriously, who is the socially damaged loser, the single college student or the full grown, married adult who still posts in college life?</p>
<p>I don’t necessarily disagree with the general message of what you’re saying now that you’ve fleshed out your explanations but I can’t imagine why you feel so spirited about it.</p>
<p>“Seriously, who is the socially damaged loser, the single college student or the full grown, married adult who still posts in college life?”</p>
<p>“Seriously, who is the socially damaged loser, the single college student or the full grown, married adult who still posts in college life?”</p>
<p>“I don’t necessarily disagree with the general message of what you’re saying now that you’ve fleshed out your explanations but I can’t imagine why you feel so spirited about it.”</p>
<p>“And no, cheating is not an inevitability. BigEastBeast is either making excuses for himself and knows better, or has weak impulse control.”</p>
<p>^ agree completely.</p>
<p>This is getting a little ridiculous.</p>
<p>As far as dating goes, do what you want. If you want a long-term relationship, go for it. If you want to hook up, do it. Just make sure that your partner in any given situation feels the same way and wants the same thing. It all depends on your personality and what you want. Don’t worry about what the “normal” thing to do in college is, because I’m pretty sure no one can agree on a definition.</p>
<p>If you’re in a relationship, it is almost inevitable that you will be physically attracted to other people, but that doesn’t mean that you love your partner any less or that they’re any less attractive. It just means that you’re hormonal and you know that there are other options. I’m not advocating infidelity, but be realistic- the odds that your college boyfriend or girlfriend will end up being your husband or wife when you’re 80 is pretty slim (though not impossible by any means). Just keep an open mind.</p>
<p>Bear in mind that I’m a 19 year old college kid, so it’s not like I’m any sort of expert. I’m only throwing my 2 cents in.</p>
<p>I don’t ever post in this forum, but FWIW I met my wife Freshman year in college and we’ve been together ever since. No cheating. Married 24 years. </p>
<p>The vast majority of our friends are happily married to a spouse they met in college and have been married for 20+ years. My brothers met their spouses in college.</p>
<p>It can and does happen.</p>