Daughter accepted and delighted; but parent concerned

Colleges and Universities A-Z Bryn Mawr College
1

<p>Anyone have any insights or comments about the following article, link as follows:</p>

<p>[ENGLISH</a> HOUSE GAZETTE Stress City](<a href=“http://ehgazette.blogs.brynmawr.edu/2012/01/11/stress-city/]ENGLISH”>http://ehgazette.blogs.brynmawr.edu/2012/01/11/stress-city/)</p>

<p>I have a concern about how heavy the workload and stress level may be at Bryn Mawr. My daughter is a hard worker but along with doing well academically at Bryn Mawr, I would like her not to be overly stressed and to have a little time each school day to rest, socialize, and play; and enough time on weekends for some big chunks of time off each Saturday and Sunday to rejuvenate ; which I was able to have (and still do well academically) even while I attended an Ivy university. Is that truly feasible at Bryn Mawr ?</p>

2

<p>While the author of that article is certainly entitled to expressing her personal opinion and experiences, as another Bryn Mawr student, I can confidently say it is not the general consensus.</p>

<p>Personally, I came to Bryn Mawr from a very rural public high school with limited resources and was nervous about my adjustment to the workload here. I knew I was smart and hardworking, but I also knew I’d have peers that came from intense college preparatory backgrounds. Because Bryn Mawr welcomes and strives to include a diverse community, racially and socioeconomically, there are many resources in place to ensure a smooth transition, regardless of your academic or personal background. </p>

<p>For example, the very first semester of your freshman year you are required to take an Emily Balch Seminar, a writing-intense course capped at 16 and offered by a tenured professor in an academic discipline of the student’s choice. These seminars provide one-on-one guidance on a student’s writing, helping to provide a level playing field for entering students. </p>

<p>There are also many other academic resources beyond the Emily Balch Seminar. The Writing Center offers great feedback during all stages of the writing process while the Dean’s Office offers free tutors in an array of subjects to any student that requests one. Every residential dorm has a Peer Mentor that you can contact with any scheduling or academic concerns. </p>

<p>Most excitingly, the school has also hired a new support specialist which you can read about here: [Rachel</a> Heiser Joins Bryn Mawr as the College’s First Academic Support and Learning Resources Specialist | Bryn Mawr Now](<a href=“http://news.brynmawr.edu/2012/02/23/academic-support-specialist/]Rachel”>http://news.brynmawr.edu/2012/02/23/academic-support-specialist/)</p>

<p>I found these academic supports to be incredibly helpful in assisting my personal transition, but these resources are also used widely throughout the campus. It’s true, like many other liberal arts colleges, Bryn Mawr is academically rigorous. However, time management and balancing classes are things that are literally taught to students in a freshman’s first few weeks on campus through a required Wellness seminar. With the endless resources through the Dean’s Office, Bryn Mawr makes a dedicated effort to help students along every step of the way. </p>

<p>That said, like many college students, I certainly still get anxious before turning in papers or when it seems I have a million things to do during finals. However, I still find I have plenty of time to watch movies with my friends in our common room, take long weekends to New York City, or visit Philadelphia 2-3 times a week.</p>

3

<p>splokey-- Wow, we have a difference in perception of stress and workload. My
daughter is accepted to Bryn Mawr, but before she applied I spent a couple months
trying to scope out the academic and student environment at Bryn Mawr. I was
initially concerned that Bryn Mawr was a womens Ivy light-- a little short on rigor
with plenty of fun time. While never visiting yet speaking to a handful of students
and a prof, I believe the academic and social setting at Bryn Mawr is first rate and
an appropriate college to study science (my D’s interest) as well as humanties.</p>

<p>I happen to be a prof myself, and a student needs good solid stress and workload.
Sure, college has an important social piece but academic business needs to get done.</p>

<p>Just my .02</p>

<p>ps-- Go Bryn Mawr!</p>

4

<p>Well, i went to Penn. Didn’t find it all that demanding overall. Have a friend who at different times attended Penn and Bryn Mawr, who tells me the workload and stress was far more at Bryn Mawr. I have also read other articles by Bryn Mawr students who seem to do all nighters not just at exam time, but throughout the semester regularly, and it sounds brutal. I agree a little stress is good, but am afraid of too much for my daughter - can lead to physical as well as mental health issues. Health and happiness have to come first; without that, nothing else much matters. That’s my overprotective mom concern.</p>

5

<p>Happiness is #1 for me too, as my daughter is a driven type and can definitely find herself doing too much.</p>

<p>I’d like to hear more responses from current BMC students. Of course this is one girl’s experience, but the quotes from the counseling center suggested there was an increase in anxiety and self-harm behaviors compared to the past. </p>

<p>My feel from visiting the college was that it was not as stressful as some others we visited- I.e Swarthmore, JHU, Penn.</p>

<p>An interesting perspective would be to ask Haverford kids if they think BMC is more stressful than 'Ford considering they share a course catalogue.</p>

<p>The schools we visited that seemed much less stressful, like Goucher and Ursinus, made my daughter think they weren’t academically rigorous enough for her.</p>

6

<p>I’m not suggesting stress to the level that “self harm” happens or is seriously
considered. What makes sense to me is work your bum off and then do your
best on the exam/paper/project-- chips fall where they may. If I thought my
D was going to stress to the point of “self harm” she’d be coming home pronto.</p>

<p>Just my .02 David</p>

7

<p>I’m a senior at Bryn Mawr and currently in the middle of my thesis, so it’s possible I’m not the best spokesperson for stress (haha) but here’s my two cents…</p>

<p>I have been stressed at Bryn Mawr, absolutely. I think if I wasn’t stressed, my parents would be concerned. As my father likes to say, “what are we taking out a second mortgage on the house for if you’re not experiencing your education to the fullest?” I think stress is an integral part of the college experience. You need to come out of your four years with more than a degree; you need to know how to handle stress, how to manage your time and your resources, how to navigate an intense workload, and how you best deal with these things in your own personal way. I wouldn’t feel prepared for my life beyond graduation if I <em>didn’t</em> know these things, and Bryn Mawr has been the perfect environment for me to do so.</p>

<p>Am I stressed to an unhealthy point? No, definitely not. I have a great social life, fantastic friends, a healthy and awesome relationship, and any time I’m feeling a little too claustrophobic in the library, it’s a five minute walk into town for sushi or Starbucks or frozen yogurt with friends. Or it’s a three minute walk to the train, where I can head into Philly for a daylong outing or a night on the town. Bryn Mawr’s location has been the reason why I can manage stress so easily. The town of Bryn Mawr is a very old-fashioned Main Street set-up where everything is walkable, so if you need anything you can easily get to it on foot. And Philly is a twenty minute train ride, so date nights, trips to the museums, shopping, and anything else you and your friends want to do is super convenient. My friend’s birthday was last weekend, and I literally went from a day in the library to a surprise party at an amazing little Italian restaurant in South Philly, then we all took a cab to University City to get the famous milkshakes at Bobby Flay’s burger joint. Best way to beat stress ever! </p>

<p>I’m happier than I’ve ever been, and I can say that without question. I definitely am one of those people who thrives on studying and reading and thinking, so Bryn Mawr was the perfect fit for me, but I also love being able to sit outside and sunbathe on the beautiful campus, or read on my balcony overlooking the pond, or watch the sunset from the porch. All of these things make me so, so, so happy. There was definitely an adjustment period where I had to learn how to manage the stress that comes with an incredible workload, but that’s necessary and (should be) a part of every college experience. I have friends at a wide range of colleges, and while I’m the one with the most work (even compared to my friends at Penn, Harvard, and Dartmouth), I would say I’m also the one who is the best at handling stress and dealing with difficult situations.</p>

<p>My family is similarly concerned about health issues, especially since I was always the kid who caught just about every disease in sight, but they’ve also learned to trust that I know how to handle my workload and that freshman year is always going to be a little bumpy for everyone - that kind of transition is intense no matter what! Now that I’m a senior, my handling of stress is an artform in which I am a master, but I was probably in the same place freshman year that your daughters are now - hard-working to a fault, driven to take five classes instead of four (and yes, I’ve done that for three semesters since junior year), favorite Disney princess as a kid was Belle because BOOKS!!!, hears “extra credit” and thinks “FANTASTIC MORE READING!” There is totally a way to have your free time - I’ve fixed my schedule so even with my English major thesis and classes, I still have my weekends, and I use them to the fullest! Even if it’s just hanging out under the cherry blossoms, Bryn Mawr makes you looooove your downtime. Being healthy and happy at Bryn Mawr isn’t just feasible, it’s pretty darn easy.</p>

8

<p>Hi. I just read the article and have to reply. I am the mother of a self driven, high achieving daughter who at Bryn Mawr is currently involved in a year round sport, several clubs, government, and has a job. Is she stressed?</p>

<p>At exam time, absolutely. But so was I a exam time at my non Ivy League mid school. </p>

<p>My daughter is happier than she has been in her life. The article in no ways describes my daughter’ life, that of her roomates or close friends. </p>

<p>During one of her exam weeks, she was very ill. 3 out of 4 teachers gave her an extension without any problem for the exams, the 4th - although the prof said no, with the other 3 extensions it was not a problem.</p>

<p>My daughter has gone to concerts and museums in NY and Philly, enjoys movies with her friend in and out of the dorm, is physically and mentally healthy.</p>

<p>Here is the best piece of advice I can give - have your daughter spend a day shadowing a student or several to class, and spend a weeknight. My daughter is one of many of the girls who will have a prospective student spend the night and check out the real story. This will give you a better perspective than anything I could write in this forum.</p>

<p>Best of luck.</p>

9

<p>i wonder if it may be different depending on major? are any particular majors much more difficult, with much heavier and higher stress workloads than others? my daughter will likely be a psychology and/or humanities major…</p>

10

<p>@splokey </p>

<p>Different majors at Bryn Mawr do have different demands, but I would say we’re all in equal boats when it comes to workload and stress. I feel that I do about the same amount of work as other seniors in other majors, even if I am sitting on a 40 page thesis project right now while others are completing their lab work for their senior projects in the sciences. So while the types of work we’re doing are all very different, I would definitely say that the intensity of work is comparable. </p>

<p>Re: specifically Humanities and Psychology - I am an English major, my girlfriend is a double major in French and Psychology, and while my work is mostly long papers for Humanities classes, she’s working on two theses, one of which is statistical analyses for her professor’s research in child development, and she still manages to stay fairly stress-free (she also just got into the Columbia, NYU, and Smith graduate programs for social work, so if your daughter is passionate about psychology then here’s some proof that the psych department at Bryn Mawr produces fantastic results!).</p>

11

<p>@tsitsho90</p>

<p>well that does sound very encouraging. unless your girlfriend is a super-genius brainiac who reads and writes at the speed of lightning, lol ! but if she’s just a normal hard-working bright but not super-genius student, who doesn’t read or write especially faster than most people, it makes me feel a little better…’</p>

<p>but I’m still perplexed,then, about the Bryn Mawr students who have written those articles about the stress and workload, and about why it does seem like the counseling center comments indicate an increase in overstressed serious behaviors…i’m hoping that’s just a subset of students who were especially underprepared and underqualified for Bryn Mawr’s rigor???</p>

12

<p>@splokey </p>

<p>Haha, well <em>I</em> certainly think she’s a genius, but I’m biased. She would actually say that her secret is being very, very organized, which I can attest is true.</p>

<p>I really wouldn’t worry too much about stress levels, and I know that it can be a bit frightening to think about your daughter on her own and dealing with things as serious as the things discussed in that article, but I’d advise you not to think too deeply about the article. I can tell you as a current senior who has experienced four years of Bryn Mawr, and as someone with lots and lots of friends who would agree with me, that stress here is very manageable and our lives are very happy and social and functional!</p>

<p>In terms of the article, just remember this: things like stress, “how many hours did you study last night?” and that sort of thing are very interesting to handle at BMC because we have an honor code where we don’t discuss grades or the like, which removes the element of competition. Because we are competing against ourselves, then, and constantly striving towards a personal best, the way we are stressed is very different because we are focusing that stress inward, and I don’t know about anyone else, but I can be my own worst enemy and my fiercest critic. So when we experience stress, I think it’s very different from the way other students at other colleges experience stress (competing with each other for grades, keeping up with the class standard, feeling pressured to do well because other students are always talking about their GPAs or their SAT scores). </p>

<p>That said, the article was written for a journalism class offered by our Creative Writing Department. It is not for an official college publication (The English House Gazette is the name of the fictional paper that the class publishes their work on the blog for) and the reason why it is posted is in order for other students to read it for the following class, critique it, and edit it in workshop. So by no means should it be taken all too seriously in terms of the facts presented, or how they are presented. It is entirely possible that this particular assignment was about how to create hype about something, or slant information in such a way that it forms a particular argument.</p>

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<p>That’s a very interesting take on that article, thanks for posting. </p>

<p>My dd is interested in math/ physics at BMC and Haverford. Any info about the students stress levels in those fields?</p>

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<p>@ 4yorkshiremen</p>

<p>As I said to splokey, it’s been my experience that all of the departments have equal workloads and intensities, even if their work comes in different forms. Math and Physics majors do have senior research components, so the work you’re doing in your freshman year is helping you gear up for the kind of intensity it will take to complete a senior project. All of the departments are aware that the frosh arrive to the major at different levels of experience and knowledge, so there’s a very conscious effort to make sure everyone is up to speed by the time they declare their major. That’s why all the departments have you sit down with an advisor upon declaration and schedule out a major work plan for the next 3 years, making sure you’re on track for getting a wide range of classes within the major, and fitting in all of your credit requirements at the same time. And Bryn Mawr departments are really fantastic about keeping track of their students; it’s rare to hear of a situation where professors are <em>not</em> completely willing to consider extensions or special circumstances when a student is encountering a lot of stress. </p>

<p>As I’ve said, and as I’m sure anyone else in the community would agree, we are certainly dealing with an intense workload and the pressure of being naturally driven and committed Mawrters, but it’s difficult to fall behind or get lost in the shuffle when the departments are this close. We’re a very tight-knit community, and the community wants you to do your very best! No one is competitive or “out to get you,” and unlike larger schools with massive departments and celebrity faculty who keep their distance, you’re going to have professors who know you very well, who know how you work and at what pace, and who know when you’re stressed and need an extra boost. My professors are the ones who tell me to stay in bed and watch Netflix for the day! Even if your daughter is so motivated that she’s going to class with the flu, don’t think the professors won’t notice and make her get back in bed and take the time she needs to get better. There’s so many safety nets here that I can honestly say I’ve never heard of someone encountering a problem when they’re dealing with a health or mental health issue conflicting with their classes.</p>

15

<p>4yorkshiremen, my daughter is currently majoring in Math, and yes, she is VERY stressed out, but I do have to say that she has always been stressed out and anxious. That is just her personality. She is enjoying the academics at Bryn Mawr (thinking of possibly double majoring) and is involved in several on-campus organizations. She also managed to have a social life.</p>

<p>She has many friends who are not as stressed out all the time as she is. It’s a personality thing IMO.</p>

16

<p>@outerbanks<br>
Your daughter’s experiences sound so similar to my daughter’s experiences at Bryn Mawr.</p>

<p>My DD has a job, does some sports, is very active, goes to Philly often, is sometimes stressed, usually thrilled with Bryn Mawr and loves her friends and her classes. </p>

<p>She has taken a couple of classes at Haverford and said there is no difference with regards to the rigor or grading. </p>

<p>She has found that having a job has been a grounding experience as she is forced to get up earlier and basically commit to a work and study schedule. </p>

<p>She is happiest when she is fully engaged. Although, she definitely likes a bit of down time too.</p>

17

<p>My D graduated from Bryn Mawr last year and I would say that she was stressed at times, but it wasn’t ongoing stress and it didn’t keep her from spending time with friends or participating in several activities on campus. What impressed me about Bryn Mawr–aside from its strong academics–was the closeness of the college community. It’s hard for a student to fall into a black hole without someone (friends, faculty, dean, etc.) noticing. My daughter had an independent major, which wasn’t easy for her to do–she spent much more time justifying her course choices and reasons for this particular major than she would if she had simply chosen a major and taken the required courses. My daughter took courses at Haverford and Swarthmore almost every semester and her view was that Swarthmore students (of course this is anecdotal data based on her limited observations) were much more stressed/driven than students at Bryn Mawr or Haverford. My D enjoyed her four years at Bryn Mawr and is now living and working in Philadelphia.</p>

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<p>Thanks to all the current and former parents for posting, it’s really good to hear your perspectives.</p>

19

<p>When it comes to the social scene, I generally trust a student’s gut. If she has the opportunity to visit a college and believes that she’ll be happy there socially, that’s enough for me. The student might be wrong about what’s right for her, but no one will be able to predict that with confidence – her preference is the best predictor we have.</p>

<p>From the article: “I didn’t expect to be stressed out for the sake of being stressed out,” Anne asserts. “Instead, I feel as though there’s a culture of stress here, and pressure to maintain it.”</p>

<p>Well, I think there’s some truth to this. BMC is really different from Haverford on this measure. People at BMC do brag about how much work they have or how overwhelmed they are. It’s not for nothing that they call themselves Mawrtyrs. Different strokes for different folks.</p>

20

<p>Hanna, people at HC also brag about all the work they have only that they like to keep that they are overwhelmed to themselves. It is seen as a weakness and they don’t want to show signs of it. The difference between the classes that I took at HC versus BMC was that at BMC the women were more open/comfortable with expressing their feelings. I loved being at BMC and feeling like I had sisters.</p>

<p>At both schools students are stressed, but the stress is due to time management and wishing we had more time to do more things. My classmates were involved in so many activities that you would be surprised if they were not stressed.</p>