Daughter Not Motivated for SAT prep

Parents Forum
1

A little about my DD, HS clash of 2019…

Sweet girl, popular. 3.9uw/ 4.6w. StraightAs (she’s never had a B) and taking all the AP classes available at our small rural MA public. Top 5%. Works a pt job. Varsity track and JV soccer. Plays violin in two different groups. Class officer. Career aspiration is medicine, perhaps combined with scientific research.

The problem? her mom and I can not get her to care about standardized tests. At all. She didn’t even attempt the PSAT. She’s blowing off SAT subject tests, and hasn’t cracked an SAT book. This is causing a great deal of stress, and some tough conversations. We know she is overwhelmed and busy, but she finds time for what she wants to do.

We don’t want to make her study, do we? We’re trying to let her not only own this, but drive it, with us as her supporters and helpers. She just doesn’t seem to care. Whenever we bring up colleges she quickly changes the subject. She claims she’s just overwhelmed, and she’ll get to it. We’ve inquired about all you’re thinking- is she having doubts about career, maybe she doesn’t want to get into a super competitive schol and this is her way to self sabotage, maybe she doesn’t want to move away from home. She claims none of that is true.

We don’t know what to do, and time is ticking.

2

Tell her when the testing needs to be done; I’d set the deadline for all testing done by end of junior year, at least if you are going to pay the test fees. Tell her the test dates and how far ahead she probably needs to register, then leave her alone. If she doesn’t get it done this school year, make her pay for her own testing in the fall.

Just for your own info, if she isn’t a good standardized test taker (can’t tell from what you’ve said), she will have a hard time getting into med school because of the importance of the MCAT.

3

We’ve tried all that: a family chart showing dates and costs and who pays what if it’s not done in time. And while I wouldn’t say her standardized testing is a strength, I’m not worried about it. She usually aces whatever she sets her mind to do. She just doesn’t seem to care.

4

If she wants to go into medicine, it’s probably best that she doesn’t go to a super competitive school as she’ll need a high college GPA to get into med school.

Does she know what is required to go into medicine or scientific research? Has she considered other careers in the health care field?

5

Yes. She has an internship at a hospital that is split between research and patient interaction. We have friends that are MDs and scientists. I believe she’s not lacking in information.

6

It’s HER life and her decision - she will have to suffer the consequences if she doesn’t prepare. Your pushing her is not going to change the situation at all.

7

I tend to agree with @MaineLonghorn that this is pretty much up to your daughter to figure out.

I am thinking that doing SAT preparation in addition to everything else might just be too much stress. Our high school kids are already under a huge amount of stress – way worse than back when I was in high school. Pushing your daughter might add to her stress and therefore might not help.

You post sounded rather familiar. Our youngest with a similar academic profile (but two years older) was similarly uninterested in studying for the SAT. She did eventually take it. Based on what she said right after taking the SAT a bit of prep would have helped significantly. However she ended up with a 1460 anyway with no preparation whatsoever and then ended up at a very good small school that doesn’t require the SAT for admissions. I am wondering if your daughter will do just as well without preparation. If so then it would certainly be good enough for some schools with good premed programs (including but not limited to UMass Amherst – which does require the SAT if I am remembering correctly).

Since your daughter is a junior then I am wondering if you could back off a bit, and eventually get her to just take the test, perhaps in the spring (without essay, since it just adds more stress). If she does as well as she needs to for the schools where she will be applying then she is done. If not, then this might motivate her to prepare and take the SAT again. Also, I am wondering if your daughter should apply to test-optional schools. There are some very good ones (including some small ones).

8

My kids didn’t prep at all. They did read the info about test taking, just before the test (whether to guess, that kind of thing). Two of them took it a second time and got into top schools. The third applied to a test-optional school.

I told my kids that the SAT is an aptitude test, not a content test, and that for that reason studying wasn’t really needed, despite all the programs set up for that. I believe that. And I think that having that attitude made test-taking less stressful. (Years of reading for pleasure may have been the best prep._

I found that reverse psychology often helped, particularly given the stress level. Test prep needs to be a choice, and one that comes from her.

Tell her there is no need to prep if she takes the tests. That takes the pressure off, restores autonomy, and may actually help her decide to prep!

Then she can take it and, as others have said, she can take it again if she feels like it. I would advise that she read the short info available online about the test itself and whether to guess, strategies for skipping questions and coming back and so on.

You can even tell her there is no need to take the tests at all if she finds schools she would like on this list of test-optional schools: http://fairtest.org/university/optional

There are many top schools on this list. Under B’s alone, Bowdoin, Bates, Brandeis, Bennington, Bryn Mawr and others. One caveat: kids needing merit aid may need to submit scores.

This decision should be in her court. It is still early, Plenty of time.

I would be less concerned about the testing and more concerned about the stress she seems to be under. The life you describe is absolutely packed. Is there anything she can whittle down? It is not worth it to live like that for admissions.

Finally, I am sure you are aware of how many high schoolers want to go into medicine, and I understand that there are family members and friends in the field. That kind of specificity in career aspiration can be fixed, but it can also be a sign of immaturity, and many many young people change their minds. At any rate, she can major in anything at all and go to med school. I hope she isn’t stressing about career at this young age. College can still be a time for exploration.

9

I think she probably will get into it during junior year when her peers are into it. Give her some time.

10

There are a ton of great test optional schools. She can apply to those. When the time comes, she will be well aware of the need to take the MCAT. There is no getting out of that one.

Tell her it’s her choice: prep for the SAT or the ACT, or apply test optional. If she needs merit aid in order to afford college, then tell her she can go to community college for two years if she refuses to take a standardized test. Just be factual, maybe write it out on a piece of paper and have her read it. Then she is in control because she knows her options.

As far as the SAT, it is entirely possible that she is worried about it, because it’s still new and many kids are shying away from it. Maybe she’s heard bad things about it. The ACT is accepted by every college. She can take that instead.

11

If you can afford more than one sitting, I wouldn’t force her to prep for the first. Let her take one, see what she gets.

She may surprise you, she may be one of those people who scores well on the first try and you won’t have to do any more. Or she may bomb and get upset and then you can gently steer her towards the ACT and some prep classes, or sign her up for tutoring.

But this is a step towards becoming an adult, assessing her own strengths and assessing where she wants to invest her time. Sign her up for the next possible sitting, tell her if she does very well she doesn’t have to do it again, and see where she lands.

12

My kid just hates standardized testing, and we’re applying to mostly test optional schools, there are some good small schools that are test optional, and have good track record of students advancing to get PhD. For a while I tried everything to get kid to prep, as scholarship $ is important to us, but in the end, I think we’ve found schools that are a good fit.

13

I’d have the money talk with her. Test scores are a big deal for merit. I would have lost my mind if any of my kids blew off the PSAT! National Merit is a big deal in our house. Since she’s working hopefully she understands the value of money, explain that the time spent on prep can bring a huge financial benefit.

14

I don’t think she needs to prep. Just let her take it. My daughter never opened a book or looked at a test question. I understand some students need to but not everyone does.

15

Tell her to sign up and take the SAT test. If she gets great scores, then you will shut up about studying for them or retaking it. I would also tell her that if she’s overwhelmed, it’s time to cut back on some activities to give herself a break. My kids hated test prep classes. I swear they were painful after a long day at school. My best advice for prep is to take multiple practice tests.

16

Sounds lime a smart daughter. Her lack of wanting to prep all you can do is encourage and have those comon sense talks.

If college $$ is already a given she may not have the desire.

We dont have tons of $$ for college, so merit was/is essential. They didnt/dont have much of a choice or just go to a state public.

Good luck.

17

I must agree with the money aspect.

Maybe you can afford full pay at a school, but if she has a high UW GPA and class rank, there are opportunities for her to get full tuition or more at good schools, if she gets the test scores to go along with that.

So why should you pass something like that up, especially with the cost of med school a possibility?

If she is busy now, she can prep during Xmas break and take it in January. Collegeboard has practice SAT exams online and I think ACT does too.

If she is a good student, working on time management is probably most important or brushing up on some math concepts if she is advanced in math.

Then she can study in the summer and take the Aug SAT.

18

Are her friends taking the test anytime soon? That seems to be the catalyst in our house. The good news is that there is still some time, but look at the schedule now - March, May/June (my kid will be taking subject tests on one or both of those dates and with APs, a bad time for a regular SAT), and August. For us, March and August are the prime times to take it again. Perhaps have her to do a practice test over winter break - don’t laugh; maybe the day before school starts up in Jan. I would not suggest an official test without prep, though that could be a wake-up call of last resort. I’d definitely allow time for 2 takes.

If all else fails, sign her up for some tutoring or a class. That’s what I did a few months back, mainly as a way to force a study schedule, though my kid needed some time-saving strategies as well. (And yet, we are not quite done…)

A side note, the fall reading sections have been more difficult than the most recent real administration made available as a practice test (#8, Jan 2017), though I would hope that College Board will make October 2017 available for practice after it releases the QAS.

@compmom It’s been a long time since the SAT was a true aptitude test; the letters SAT no longer stand for anything. The transformation was complete with the New SAT and its basis in the Common Core. Raw ability certainly helps, but practice with the test is going to be necessary for many smart kids to score in a range representing their potential with regard to college apps. The College Board explicitly admits this with their Khan partnership. I’m tempted to call it an achievement test though it’s not quite that either. Perhaps this only applies to the top end of the curve, but my impression is that only a lucky few can walk cold into the New SAT and get a representative score (or maybe my kid was just unlucky).

19

I suspect the best incentive for her will be to simply take the test as early as possible and then decide if she’s happy with her scores and what those scores will or will not make possible for her. Sounds like a smart kid who needs a reason to do stuff. My kid was the same way, did very limited prep (just an app on his phone, plus trying once and then trying again), got decent scores and landed where he needed to land without painful hours training to take the test. It’s a matter of priorities. Work with the kid you have – including information on whether or not they are a good test taker, which will inform any decisions about prep.

20

Your DD may have a fear that she will not do as well on the SAT as other students. My DD had been comparing herself to her brother and his friends - all above the 30 ACT mark and we had the same issues with her. She refused to study and even had a breakdown before her first scheduled ACT and could not attend. We used a lot of the strategies suggested by @compmom . We showed her a lot of test optional schools. I even talked to her about other kids here on cc who were great students, but not great test takers. I think in the back of her mind there was this thought that by not studying it would be the “excuse” as to why she did not do as well as expected or others. One thing you really do not want is to have her develop test anxiety. So my advice is be very supportive and back-off the test prep. Just set a date and tell her this is a baseline. Once she gets the first test under her belt then you can evaluate where to go from there. We told DD that after the first test we would do whatever she needed to us to do to help her. We would get test prep help or she could decide to go test optional. She ended up scoring 1 point lower than my DS’s first ACT attempt and is now majorly motivated to study.