<p>becc you didn't let him litter, but you didn't care that he littered all over someone's property - the dicotomy is amazing, if you trash a place with paper and eggs, its an immature prank and if you are 17 it is okay, but if you drop a wrapper on the ground as a 7 year old, that would be wrong?</p>
<p>Just checking</p>
<p>defending tping of houses is silly, imo, no matter what wonder things that person did as an adult, an adult would turn around and say, that was really lame and immature and dumb,and would opologize for creating work and vandalizing anothers property, but maybe my expectations for teens is higher than others</p>
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Why are people so weenie? Why are people to complacent? Why is it "well kids will be kids, and HS boys, young men, going off to college, well, they should be allowed to act like jerks and litter all over the neighborhood" to paraphrase...
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</p>
<p>I'm sorry, but you simply CAN NOT accuse me of being a weenie. :D</p>
<hr>
<p>No, seriously, I really do not understand parents (and believe me, some of them are my friends!) who think a night out vandilizing is just good clean teenage fun. It isn't. It's wrong and it's against the law.</p>
<p>I never said that I didn't CARE that he TP'd a friends house. When his freinds did it to our house I was annoyed, told him how stupid it was and made him clean it up.
I just don't think the police or courts need to get involved.
And I see a huge difference between TP-ing a friend and writing racial slurs, throwing eggs or randomly vandizing house of people you dont know.</p>
<p>To the OP - I'm sorry your kids made a mistake. Mine do often - and so do I. Only DH avoids them. We try to learn and do better. I wouldn't worry about the elite college thing. She is a freshman - you have a whole lot of more important things to worry about between now and then. It may turn out that those schools aren't even a good fit. She will likely make more mistakes. I hope none more serious. I'm sure this has taught her how quickly things can turn sour.</p>
<p>Don't do anything that will come back to you -like pranks</p>
<p>Don't do anyting that will embarrass your father</p>
<p>And if you DO do anything bad, we will find out because we do know everybody</p>
<p>One time, some strange guy at the ice cream store wanted to buy them icecream, turns out, he was daddy's friend for 25 years, a guy who knew them, but that they didn't recognize</p>
<p>Also, if you are feeeling pressure to do something stupid, it is truely okay to say no, and it is okay (this was when they weren't as matrue enough to really deal with the peer pressure), I said make me the meanest person on the planet, if need be...</p>
<p>It is sad that "traditions" often lead to such trouble</p>
<p>think about those girls at Duke recently during the sorority "celebration" who ended up in the emergency room</p>
<p>I have nothing more to offer really, but I was surprised to read halfway through the threads that the kids were 14 and 11. Yes it was wrong. Yes damage occured, and yes the neighbor has a right to be angry. But a next-door neighbor of 8 years pressing charges on an 11 and 14 yo who fessed up early the very next morning......and who were willing to make things right and whose parents were willing to pay for damages............HUGS again to the OP and her kids.</p>
<p>We appreciate the police dept in our town, (OK, small town with friendly officers who are also involved in the schools with DARE and as resource officers) and I have learned to simply call them and ask what to do. We actually had a different but similar event take place, and when i learned my kids were involved, we just proactively called the police and asked them to stop by. I then had my D and her two friends explain what happened, and asked what we should do about it. The officers accompanied the kids on a visit to a neighbor's house to "fess up" and explain. The girls were crying, and clearly remorseful. They made amends, the damage was fixed, and no one pressed charges. We had neighbors tell us we were crazy and that we should have called a lawyer instead. My D at first "couldn't believe we called the cops on them," but I figured us calling and then proceeding to the neighbors might work out better. Was I crazy? Any comments?</p>
<p>OP, most states have something called an expunction. It is a thing a person can use only once on their lifetime. If a charge gets dismissed, you can file for an expunction and the charge will be wiped off the records. You can then legally say you were not charged with a misdeanor. Definitely get a lawyer.</p>
<p>I'm sure you D will come out just fine. Both of my kids have done some things that we aren't proud of but then I did some things as a teen that I'm not proud of either. Everyone has. Some just don't get caught. It doesn't mean the future is doomed. Your family will weather this and be all the wiser for it.</p>
<p>"If somone vandalized my property, and I knew who it was, I would press charges. Wouldn't you?"</p>
<p>Vandalized with paper and eggs?</p>
<p>I can't imagine a much more tremendous waste of my time or ruin any sort of cooperative relationship with next-door neighbors I may have to deal with for another decade.</p>
<p>I doubt that the kids will be convicted of a misdemeanor. A case like this will be negotiated with the asst DA. Your attorney will tell the story and my guess is that they will get a disorderly conduct which will disappear in a year and is NOT a crime that needs to be discussed.</p>
<p>I would not press charges regardless of who vandalized my house if those who did it 'fessed up and were were willing to "work" off the crime. I have lot of yard work --poop scooping, garage cleaning, etc to do, and would be happy to get some neighbor kids come do the job.</p>
<p>Sunnyflorida, I think your approach of using the police in an informal way makes lots of sense and is something we have also done. A couple of young teen boys (14 or so) walked into our yard one day and destroyed a snowman carefully constructed by our five-year old. We were inside, saw them through the window, and immediately ran out and asked for an apology (five year old in tears behind me). They gave me the finger and ran off. I called the police, who showed up in minutes, picked them up down the street from my description, and brought them first to us to apologize and then home in a squad car to their parents (we didn't know them). I hope it made an impression on them and made me appreciate living in a small town.</p>
<p>On the other hand, we had our house TP'd the year S was a senior and the house next door was TP'd last night (homecoming is Friday and they have a senior). This activity is ritualized in this neighborhood of seniors to other seniors who are their friends. The kid whose house is TP'd cleans it up the next day. I have never heard of the kids targeting anyone other than a fellow classmate and they all know that eggs do damage. However, because we are generally perceived as tough, having expressly forbidden our S from participating in this activity his senior year (and S1 assured us he didn't), S asked our permission to have our house done. He told us what night to expect it and assured us that he would clean it up. I think if we had said we would be opposed, they would have passed us by, but S considered this activity similar to putting out balloons when a family has a new baby--kind of decorating to indicate a senior in the family. Therefore, we gave the OK and it didn't seem like a big deal. In fact, I have often heard families comment when driving down the street the Friday of homecoming with "oh, I forgot the Smiths had a senior this year.." It is in fact viewed as a type of announcement in this area. It would be a different story, however, if it were just some random activity of kids driving around targeting houses to "trash".</p>
<p>do the kids cleanup the house next door, and down the street where thegarbage blows, to they sweep out the drains, so the trash doesn't go into the water supply? come on people, its just stupid, if all you have is putting garbage in the neighborhood to signify a senior, ya'all need to come up with something new</p>
<p>The Common Application now asks "Have you ever been convicted of a crime, including misdemeanors" and asks the guidance counselor the same thing on the school report. The guidance counselors and admissions officers that I have talked to have mixed views on whether sealed juvenile records need to be reported as the wording does not expressly set them aside. </p>
<p>However, four years from now, colleges are likely to view this as a very minor event, assuming, of course, that there are no other problems along the way. I would not worry excessively about its effect on her college admissions unless this sort of trouble becomes a pattern.</p>
<p>Speaking from my own experience, it is extremely annoying to have your house TP'd. It really does feel like a violation especially while you are cleaning it up. I would make sure your daughter understands that (sounds like she got the point), and also make sure that she understands that the consequences will be more severe if further behavior like this occurs. Then, keep a close eye on her. Sneaking out after you are in bed seems to be the real potential problem-in-the-making to me because that opens lots of possibilities for worse behavior down the road.</p>
<p>Of all the kinds of trouble kids can get into one would think that TPing, relatively speaking, is a harmless way for a teen to act out. </p>
<p>OP, I think this will all blow over one way or another. Like the poster a couple pages back I think it would make a very interesting college application essay. It has all the elements--character, truth, values, learning from mistakes and last but not least negotiating with jerks.</p>
<p>As the self-proclaimed expert on "wild kids" and college admissions, I can assure you with absolute certainty that this incident will not in any way affect your daughter's chances for admission to a selective college. I doubt it is going to wind up on her record and I suspect it will not need to be disclosed. If it is, it can be explained and will not matter at all.</p>
<p>In Texas, assuming someone receives deferred adjudication, there is not a conviction or even a finding of guilt. Therefore, a person completing d/a can truthfully answer no on the Common App question. The record can be sealed or expunged depending the circumstances of the misdemeanor.</p>
<p>Yeah, your kids were wrong. But having fell into the well, are you going to let them drown? So next door law enforcement is playing tough. As a former prosecutor, my advice is to get a well connected local lawyer because that is the only way in today's america to get any JUSTICE. Your neighbor will be used to attorneys straigtening him out.</p>
<p>Isn't that sad? The people who can afford to get a well-connected attorney can get the well-connected kids off. This girl committed a crime and she should be punished.</p>
<p>Getting back to impact on college admission-- does juvenille adjudication even count as a conviction? I guess I wouldn't want to hang my hat on a fine distinction.
It should matter to admissions, but it shouldn't be the kiss of death. Isn't this what interviews and essays are all about.</p>
<p>I feel for your angst. We spent last summer dealing with teenage behavior and consequences and it was very stressful. My sister in law's neighborhood had an egging night out and one house ended up with thousands of dollars worth of damage from the eggs on the siding.</p>
<p>I would be concerned about the egging but also about "the sneaking out after we had gone to bed" part. I have told my kids that I have spies everywhere and if they get out of line I will hear about it and this is an opportunity to show that when she snuck out no good came of it and you found out.</p>
<p>Hope she has learned a lesson. I don't think it will keep her out of college.</p>
<p>My S participated in something stupid -- and illegal -- when he was a junior in high school; other kids involved were treated less harshly. We retained a lawyer to represent him in juvenile court. He was put on juvenile probation for 6 months and required to do community service and participate in two other community prevention programs. At the time of his court appearance, we were told that if S met court requirements there would be no record. After the 6 months -- which coincided with fall of senior year when he began to complete college apps -- the complaint was dismissed. I specifically asked the lawyer re: question on college app, and was told he could truthfully answer no. This did not keep him out of college but did give me many sleepless nights.</p>