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[quote]
We are replaced, and that is just part of the circle of things.
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Well, Faline2, it sounds as if you have done your work very well. [huge, frying applause - stadium sounding stuff] But wait until your kid gets married, has his first fight with his wife, makes his first home purchase, experiences his wife's first pregnancy, has a first miscarriage, first birth, first case of colic, teething, asthma, bed-wetting... You'll probably find you ain't been replaced in the least. Sure, your kid's array of advisors has gotten a bit larger. But you are still right there, at the very top of 'em.</p>
<p><a href="mini%20%20%20wrote:">quote</a> Records are not "sealed" from the colleges' perspective. Applicants are asked a simple question...."Have you ever been convicted of.... If so, please explain."
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<p>Under some states' laws there are restrictions on what information can be solicited (as required data) concerning juvenile legal history. I believe a footnote about this used to be on the application at Harvard and/or MIT, as Massachusetts is one of the states with such restrictions. This issue came up in the Gina Grant (Harvard-admitted matricide) affair, i.e. whether under her plea agreement, she was entitled to withhold information about her court history, and whether such an entitlement would have rendered her application accurate.</p>
<p>The OP mentioned application to Wellesley, which would be subject to the same restrictions.</p>
<p>Gee Drosselmeier..I hadn't thought ahead one bit to the whole raising a family and being way past college challenges ahead for my son...whaaat? is that really going to happen? Is there a Parent Cafe discussion board for the post college years? I certainly will need it! Didn't everything end with college? You see, I was thinking about going back to my original career goal once I am truly not needed by my sons. I always felt I would enjoy being a June Taylor dancer.</p>
<p>Again, depends on the State. In many States, juvenile records are sealed and if there is no violation of 'probation' then there is no conviction. So, your S or D could still answer the question truthfully depending on the jurisdiction.</p>
<p>Thanks for updating. Many were interested months ago, and others like myself read through and got quite a sampling of values differences among families. </p>
<p>I wonder 2 things now: </p>
<ol>
<li>Have you been able to ascertain what meaning your young son derived from all of this? Maybe it's best to let it all rest, but I wouldn't forget about him. He has lived for 6 months with much commotion over something that he was pulled in to, and might have feelings and thoughts, too. What do you know about his thoughts? Perhaps now that the frontline crisis is settling down, if you think it's right to revisit with someone so young, perhaps he has some thoughts or feelings to express?</li>
</ol>
<p>(Guess what I am -- a second child, married to a second child...:)</p>
<ol>
<li>We're new to suburbia but have a senior. I'd HATE for this to happen to us but I don't understand the culture and hardly know any parents at the high school. Our son is popular. We've been stunned several times in the past years at things considered "funny" or "minor" that were held accountable in our previous small town.
The difference is probably: money.</li>
</ol>
<p>TP'ing isn't a minor inconvenience as I'm still now recovering from open back surgery, have put in a year in rehab, another year in phys. therapy...still many repercussions. But nobody would know that medical stuff, just viewing us from the outside. I don't even let myself use the handicapped sticker offered.</p>
<p>We also didn't understand or agree with the "so what" value system when our mailbox was smashed to bits because "it was Spring Break and the kids are bored."</p>
<p>Now, for those who understand suburbia (not me): can we put out a message through my senior-year son (that won't backfire) NOT to do this TP thing? I'd really hate it.</p>
<p>When I said, "our son is popular" I meant that he's confident in the friendships because he made his own way socially into the community. We're just not involved in any school or family activities; came to it so late, paying attention to the college and college-bound issues around here. </p>
<p>He has friends who might do this, but is fiercely loyal to our family and my health. I've seen houses around here TP'ed in June but never understood it until this thread!</p>
<p>Seriously, should I ask him to find out and put out a "don't-you-dare" message
re: our house? He could do it without any risk to his social standing.</p>
<p>So, anyway thanks for sharing your interesting story for all. I hope your daughter finds college success -- with deeper community understanding than before!</p>
<p>Just want to add a short sad story to this thread. A couple years ago a friend told us how a carload of popular teenaged cheerleaders went out late one night to TP the home of one of the football team captains in her town. Father of football star was tired of his house being TPd (located in a hilly wooded area of town). When he heard noise outside his home, he flipped on the porch lights. Cheerleaders hopped in the car and sped away with lights off (so not to be identified). The 16 year old inexperienced driver ran head on into a tree driving down the dark winding road away from the house -- result several fatalities. Parents of passengers sued parents of driver (girls snuck out of the house during a sleepover) and the parent of the driver sued the father of the football player for "scaring the girls away from the house." Don't know what the final outcome was since friend indicated that the cases could be tied up in courts for a long time...no one wins this one...</p>
<p>"gain, depends on the State. In many States, juvenile records are sealed and if there is no violation of 'probation' then there is no conviction. So, your S or D could still answer the question truthfully depending on the jurisdiction."</p>
<p>In our state, such a parole condition could be placed on the case "pending adjudication". The finding of guilt would take place if the conditions were violated. In that case, no conviction ever took place.</p>
<p>However, the sealing of the record for those convicted does not in and of itself "wipe away" the conviction. (There are lawyers who make a living in going in and trying to wipe away the conviction all together).</p>
<p>Last night, dear son comes home after going out with a local gal to spend some time with.</p>
<p>As a sidelight, between 5 and 7 he was with us at church for a special event, which was followed by a trip to a senior citizens nursing home next oor to the church. We made goofy little crafts and spent some time with these elderly folks, myself, wife, and DD went home....DS out with this girl.</p>
<p>Fast forward 3 hours after he got home...Well, what did you guys do?</p>
<p>Drove around, he had some stupid little stickers, where he and this girl would jump out of the car, and slap one on a road sign, laugh and get back in and drive off. </p>
<p>Wife and I were concerned, and let him know that this type of behavior could have major affects on him and his future college plans. He turned 18 a couple months ago. We didnt over react, but we called the act what it was, vandalism, and told him that when he gets caught doing this type of thing, there may be some consequences. </p>
<p>Might be a real good excercise to drive him around with a bottle of WD-40 and remove some of these stickers.</p>
<p>He's a good kid, but like all kids, occaisionally has a lapse of judgement. By the same token, I'm not turning him in to the streets department for defacing the signs either.</p>
<p>Even good kids make bad decisions in groups. A misdemeanor is a serious thing but not as consequential as a felony. Maybe this will be a lesson. YOu have to notify the schools of course that she has been charged if charged. They will probably note it but be ok. sexual assaults or other type crimes are the kind that will cause an offer to be revoked.</p>
<p>P.S. most applications ask if you have ever been charged, or arrested as well as convictions. I would not mince words on this and notify them. Also, first offender treatment or any plan where they promise to seal records does not prevent employers schools from asking and you still have to answer honestly.....</p>
<p>re: "most applications ask if you have ever been charged, or arrested as well as convictions"</p>
<p>But depending on the state where the university is located and the state where the offenses occurred, the university may be legally prohibited from soliciting such information. The advice to "just tell them" may be quite bad in such circumstances.</p>
<p>Do you think the OP could be verging on the line of hypocrisy if she OK'd leaving this information off of college applications? Would it render the owning of guilt pointless?</p>
<p>I thought the OP's children had charges dropped? If charges are dropped, isn't it truthful to answer "no" to the question "ever been charged..?".</p>