DD 19 just lost her dad unexpectedly Friday night

I think that I have her on my insurance so we dont have to do Cobra. I just have to call the company tonight and see if his funeral notification is sufficient notice that he died as we dont have a death certificate yet.

 ALL of her teachers will be emailed and If i see her swamped with homework will be emailed again as they were very nice and all emailed me back today.  She said that she will go back tomorrow.  I told her just be present, listen do the best you can and dont expect a whole lot.  

I couldn’t today, but each day will get better and we have to go on living her dad would want that. So i baby step at a time. Thanks for all of the good thoughts. I thought we would be dealing with my mom or her grandpa not her dad…

It’s important to listen to our kids. Hold them close, talk, and listen. Counseling is good. But not all kids know what to say, in the first days or even week. They’re in shock. Maybe your family doctor has a recommendation. Another option is a childrens ‘loss of parent’ support group.

It’s not possible to say people who lose someone close need to just get back to normal. It’s not just a snap of the fingers. For many, others’ expectation they get back to normal is crushing, after the worst thing has happened. So talk to her, prepare her for school. Let her go at this one day at a time, for right now. Help her with ideas what to say to others. Other kids likely won’t know what to say. You put on your brave face and they can think you’re over the loss and don’t need understanding, just when you need it most.

Yes, she’ll need to apply. But it’s only late August. The two of you can talk, decide when she’ll get back to the paperwork-- which may be a week or Sept 15, but you help her be ready for that. Again, one day at a time.

My condolences.

If you have health insurance, you can put her on yours. If not, then check out https://www.illinois.gov/hfs/MedicalPrograms/AllKids/Pages/about.aspx

Poor babies. In a couple weeks you might want to think about hiring a counselor to help her put her application together. There are so many moving pieces that its hard to keep track even when all is well. Best wishes.

I forgot to mention… With my son losing his grandmother and great grandmother 3 days apart… It did effect this grades definitely first semester and had an impact all year. This was something we were blind sided by since he’s sorta not that kid we thought. He never really expressed if it impacted him but silently it did. If we were to do it again we would of had him talk to the social worker at school.

We did have his counselor write up something about this in their report to the colleges. It was quite evident that freshman year was not typical of his abilities. The loss with now transitioning to high school and an competitive academic one at that had its affect. Going forward it was fine

Our D had an awful semester in college after having her aunt die in March. She basically ended up having to stay an extra year in college with all the associated costs. It blindsided is because she SEEMED to be doing ok. Sometimes we don’t anticipate how much we will be affected by death of a relative.

The death should give you a special open season to enroll her on your plan if she is not there already. You should not have to resort to COBRA. God, what a way to start the year. My heart goes out to all of you.

You might have a friend in each of your daughter’s classes ask the teacher if he/she may video or tape-record the classes your daughter is missing. I’ve seen kids use their cellphones for this purpose. Just ask teacher first if you may place the cell phone or recorder near the teacher.

Last night i got home and she was just lying on the couch i could tell she was just depressed.

But a few minutes later her two best friends let her a facetime message saying get dressed we are coming to get you. You dont have a option. She got dressed. I figured she would be home within an hour. At 8 i was nodding off just due to the fact I’m not sleeping well due to all of this. So i sent her a message asking when she thought she would be home. She asked “when is curfew”. A glimmer of my kid. I told her 10. She said fine. This morning she was sitting at her makeup mirror putting on her make up and she said she enjoyed being over there with them. So a glimmer of hope. I know there are going to be ton’s of rough times but I thank the Lord for those two girls. They love her to pieces. And at this stage of her life I know sometimes she will open up more to them than me.

Mama Lion is out and will advocate for her at school on her college apps and everything. I just need to see a bit of light in my baby’s eye’s.

Thank you everyone!!!