<p>Hi, so DD is rushing this week. Anyone else going through this? Wanted to connect with others for support. lol</p>
<p>Yes my dd is rushing as well, hi :)</p>
<p>Yes, mine is too. Second round was yesterday and today. She was lucky enough to be invited back to the max parties although she was cut by one of her favorites. So far, she seems to have a great attitude and is not zeroing in on just one or two houses. I think third round changes that though!</p>
<p>DD is on round 1, visiting all of the houses. So far, she’s ok, meeting lots of nice girls. But, I guess the next few days will be the disappointment if she doesn’t get invited back to the houses that she liked. She didn’t have a preference before but now is liking some more than others. I think I will need to have a bottle of wine ready as the week progresses…</p>
<p>I always give the same advice so you might want to pass it on. 1) Some groups may do a better job at recruiting but don’t overlook those that don’t wow you from the beginning. You are looking for sisters not skits, colors, or door chants; 2) If you don’t get invited back to a group, let them go and focus on the groups that want you for the rest of the time. Those groups think you are special and it is better to give them a chance than to wonder about what might have been; 3) Give everyone a chance. I didn’t fall in love with my house until preference night; 4) Try not to listen to gossip and rumors. There is no such thing as a perfect place and stereotypes are rarely true. In a house of 200 people you will find diverse opinions, styles and attitudes; 5) Even though the entire process is very stressful take time to enjoy meeting the new people. You will see them in classes and events throughout the years.</p>
<p>Rush starts for my D on Sunday so you all are ahead. I learned something over the weekend I never knew…my mom rushed nearly 45 years ago this week and was one of just 10 women on her campus dropped from recruitment with no bids at all. She said she made a ton of friends and realized she didn’t need a sorority but it still hurts to think about the experience almost 5 decades later.</p>
<p>TBH I’m not that thrilled with the whole thing, that story kind of confirmed my feeling! My D is extremely social and it will probably go fine…as long as she is happy I’m going along with it and excited for her.</p>
<p>I was not in a sorority, but D1 was, though she decided to go inactive after a while. One thing she said made an impression on me. Sometimes a girl will be “cut” from a sorority and she is very confused. She might feel misled because there was a girl who showed a lot of interest in her, and not being invited back hurts because she now knows that the friendly girl was “fake.” This is rarely true. The active member may have liked her very much, but was outvoted, not because the chapter didn’t like the pnm, but because their numbers are limited and other girls may be known to more members of the chapter, may be a legacy, a sister of an active member, etc. My daughter was heartbroken when some of her favorites did not receive bids from her chapter. She always felt bad that she couldn’t explain to the pnm that she had liked her and fought for her, but only had one vote.</p>
<p>Nrdsb. Yes I have heard that same thing from actives. It is so hard as a pnm to not take things personally. My dd gets her list for third round this morning. I hope it goes well for her and her friends.</p>
<p>In some sororities, at some schools, it will absolutely be nothing personal. In my sorority, at my school, in the 70s it was possible to invite every rushee to first party and all to second party who had a rec. To progress beyond that there was a formula of how many recs and which were alum recs, which from active members. And yes, a percentage of the class was reserved for legacies/younger sisters of current members. I believe this is still the case many places.</p>
<p>That’s wat I am concerned about, the rejection. I, too, was not thrilled that DD decided to rush this year. I actually discouraged her last year as a freshman since I thought it would be difficult for her to become accustomed to college life on her own and juggle the demands of being in a sorority. So she does have a few things against her - she’s rushing as a Sophomore, her GPA is under a 3.0 due to a slow start her first semester, and not having many letters of recommendation. I did tell her to keep an open mind and expect the worst - not receiving any bids at all. Yesterday, she selected her preferences and finds out today if she is being invited back. I told her to keep a positive attitude and at the end, everything happens for a reason…</p>
<p>As long as she is at a school that uses RFM matching and she writes down all names on her bid card after preference, she should find a home at this point. Once you get to pref very few schools have situations where no bid would occur (unlike the old days). Lists have already been scrubbed down for grades, etc and after preference all names invited to the house are ranked on a list. (Of course, throw this out for Indiana for future references. That school will have large numbers of girls cut after pref night due to their system). I truly believe people end up in the house that is best for them. Wishing for luck for your DD scrapgal…</p>
<p>Mizzbee I’m not very familiar with the whole process. So if she received invitations to go back after her initial tours, she should get a bid to join one if she keeps them on her list?</p>
<p>^^I’ll let MizzBee explain that. ^^ I just wanted to say that I was amazed at how cut-throat the Greek system is at some schools. I went to a commuter/suitcase school where people barely knew what college was about, let alone the Greek system. We had six houses - I was invited back to five after the initial round, and the one that didn’t invite me back I didn’t care about. We were allowed to go back to four and I chose not to return to the “rich girl” house - I knew they weren’t for me. After this round, I got three invitations to preference parties, went to my top two, and got the bid I wanted. This was pretty much everyone’s experience at my school. However, from what I’ve read, even the big schools are more inclusive now, with “snap bids” for girls who didn’t get their preference but were still invited to join another house, etc. I followed rush at the University of Alabama this year since a girl from our hometown was involved and 91 percent of the girls who started rush were invited to join a sorority, so overall it’s not as bad as some people like to think.</p>
<p>^^Unless you’re one of the 9%.</p>
<p>Some of whom choose to drop out, I might add.</p>
<p>Got it, I think… lol. There are 16 houses at her university with 1700 girls rushing, so I think that it is very competitive. Her roommate last year didn’t even get an invitation back from her mom’s sorority! At the end she didn’t like the ones that invited her back so she dropped out on the 4th day. I’m just happy she was invited back! Lol, I was worried that no one would invite her back due to the above reasons I noted. She had a few rough years in middle school that have left her and myself a little scarred…</p>
<p>Scrapgal, I am by no means an expert on rush. But I did want to address the roommate’s situation. From what I understand, the roommate is what they call a legacy (meaning her mom was a member). If you have a legacy and you invite them back (this is where I get a little fuzzy but I’m thinking the 3rd party which I forget the name of) you must give them a bid. Legacy’s are different and it’s really hard for the girls because they want to invite them back but if they are not a good match you have to cut them. </p>
<p>It’s hard for everyone involved. The members hate not inviting girls back either but the system is such that they have to. It helps to think that there are lots of great candidates. It’s not that they don’t like you but that are so many good matches they can’t invite everyone. </p>
<p>One thing I do want to say for girls thinking about rushing. If you want to, it is worth your time to get recommendations. You the mom can get these from your friends who were in a sorority. What it does according to a good friend of mine who is up on these things is that with a recommendation you will get an invite to the second parties. This is I’m sure not always the case but it is for certain sororities.</p>
<p>Good luck to all of the girls. My own kids were not interested. But I loved my time in a sorority.</p>
<p>For some of the older sororities, it might be possible to fill an entire pledge class with legacies. For obvious reasons this might not be desirable. If a legacy isn’t going to get a bid, they get cut pretty early on so they can focus on the houses where they do have a chance. All this sometimes makes college admissions look like a cake walk.</p>
<p>Best of luck to everyone! :)</p>
<p>To answer a question about “pref”. I think someone earlier used it for “voting” after the first round. “Pref” is generally used to describe the parties you go to in the 4th round.</p>
<p>At most schools, being invited back to pref means you all but have a bid.</p>