<p>
Good suggestion. You could also call (on the telephone, not an e-mail) Texas Tech and ask them if they could put you in touch with somebody in your area who might be able to give you a ride.</p>
<p>Another suggestion–have somebody other than your parents look at the tires and see if they are really all that worn. I’ll bet they aren’t.</p>
<p>Go to the bank and get the money for the tires. They will charge you a small fee for going over the maximum allowed withdrawals. Lesson learned and a way to show your parents you are mature and savvy enough to go away.</p>
<p>OP - it sounds like you have worked hard, saved and planned well. Don’t give up now! Three hours is not such a long trip unless your tires are really in bad shape. Do you at least have a decent spare? I know it doesn’t solve the immediate tire issue, but find out whether your auto policy includes roadside assistance. If not, look into AAA. The penalty for an excess withdraw from savings is likely pretty small compared to your dream. I agree with glopop. Go to the bank. Good luck! </p>
<p>You said orientation is in a few weeks. Surely you can make a few withdrawals over several weeks to cover however many tires you actually need. And I have to say I’m a little puzzled that your parents are perfectly fine with you driving around town on bad tires and only object to a long trip. The idea that they might have to drive three hours to rescue you from some unknown problem is silly. Tens of thousands of college students live at school far from their families without the need for rescuing. They also manage to study, get good grades, and earn degrees despite loud music and parties.</p>
<p>I think your parents objections are simply an attempt to manipulate you into staying nearby (and as a parent I certainly understand how hard it is when kids move away), but your posts indicate that you are a thoughtful and mature person who doesn’t need a parental blessing to follow his (her?) star. You know what you want to do, so do it. Thank your parents for their loving concern, assure them that you’ve thought things through, and go get the tires checked by a trusted mechanic.</p>
<p>If the concern is that the tires may be worn out, use these tests to check tread depth:
<a href=“http://www.tirerack.com/tires/tiretech/techpage.jsp?techid=51”>http://www.tirerack.com/tires/tiretech/techpage.jsp?techid=51</a></p>
<p>2/32" (Lincoln’s head in the tread) is the legal minimum.
4/32" (Washington’s head in the tread) is often considered the minimum for wet conditions.</p>
<p>I have to agree with some posters here; Take the bus, get ride from friends going to the event etc.
I also want to agree with your parent on the issue of driving there, with a car that is not quite dependable - what happens if you get stranded, it can be a scary event, so that should be avoided.
Like you said, its time to be an adult and take some initiative. Tell them that you will be careful, and discuss the options that you choose (bus or car ride) and let them know that you will keep them posted few times a day of your schedule and itinerary till you are back home.
Best of luck.</p>
<p>I’m very impressed with your maturity and planning. You have an AA with a 4.0, have a full tuition-fees scholarship and have saved to cover room and board? You are light years ahead of most kids who post in this forum. </p>
<p>I don’t really have anything to add except that if you attend TTU as a math major, you can very early on go to the career services office or advisor and see what careers might be available to your major and work to get internships, co-ops, research, elective courses, whatever to further that goal.</p>
<p>I look forward to hearing how this works out.</p>
<p>I’m puzzled by the tires excuse. If the tires are bad, I don’t want my kid driving on them. Period. You can get into an accident around town that is dangerous just as easily as on a three hour trip. </p>
<p>So could you trade cars with a family member or other relative/ neighbor/ friend to go to orientation?
When you get down to campus, hustle to get a part tome job for a few hours a week to slow the outflow from your savings-- if you could tutor lower level bath it could be lucrative </p>
<p>This is not really about tires. This is about doing something that is not common to your family/social circle.</p>
<p>Make the orientation happen. Go for Texas Tech, a nationally known school. I wish we had an in-state like it here. And math is a great major. </p>
<p>This is one of those life-changing moments–scary when they’re up close, but it’s yours for the taking. We are all rooting for you. </p>
<p>Exactly my thoughts @boysx3 - drive the parents car to orientation and let them take yours for the day(s).</p>
<p>How bad are the tires?
You know you can get slightly used tires at some places at a fraction of the cost of new tires, right?</p>
<p>If you can;t get new tires, well, do you have a spare? Is there anyone you can borrow a compressor, tire patch kit, jack, & tire wrench from?
Plan to drive slowly (like a granny on sunday!)</p>
<p>Picapole is right - this is not really about tires. I think your parents are underestimating your determination. If you just keep at it they will come around (probably).</p>
<p>Go for it! Don’t let a lack of support from your family keep you from what you have obviously worked hard for. You can do this. </p>
<p>If you want to go to orientation, call the university and tell them your situation. Ask for help from admissions office, maybe they can connect you with other students who live close to you.</p>
<p>Have you tried going on Facebook to see if there is a page for your class? I bet there is! You can post a notice asking who is headed to orientation from your area and ask to carpool in return for sharing expenses.</p>
<p>I would definitely invest in a AAA membership if your insurance company doesn’t provide roadside assistance. Then your parents won’t need to rescue you in the event of any car related issue.</p>
<p>I really hope you go to Texas Tech and follow your dream of majoring in math. You sound like a very organized and motivated student. My son is applied math major, and he is going to pursue the path to becoming an actuary. It’s a field with many job opportunities, but there are plenty of job options for math majors. Check out <a href=“http://www.Soa.org”>www.Soa.org</a> to learn more about what actuaries do and the career path requirements.</p>
<p>Your parents are questioning “what to do with a math major” because they probably genuinely don’t know.
And you don’t feel 100% confident in being a math major because probably no college kid feels 100% confident in why they want to be the major. I was an engineer because “i like math and science” and “my dad is” and it seemed like the sort of thing I would like and you can get a job as an engineer.</p>
<p>There are tons of math careers: <a href=“Careers in Math Home | MAA Math Career Resource Center”>Careers in Math Home | MAA Math Career Resource Center; It is okay that you don’t know which one of those you will end up in…you will explore that during college and also you will see what is available when you graduate. My daughter graduated in math and wants to be a math teacher…but I am happy she did because if she finds she doesn’t like teaching there are many other math careers for her.</p>
<p>You will have to push the boundaries of what your parents are comfortable with. You are going outside there sphere of knowledge, so you are going to have to lead…which you seem to be. I suspect if you are firm in your desire to go to Texas Tech they will support you.</p>
<p>“You might be right mom, about the dorms, but this is something I want to try for myself. I figure eventually you want me to move out of the house, so this is a step for me to learn to live more independently. And I am not interested in partying…I am going to seek out the other kids that are more into studying and <whatever you=”" like=“” to=“” do=“” for=“” fun=“”>. " They see you hanging with partyiers, but I suspect you see yourself hanging with academically focused college kids which would be less likely at the commuter school. You see yourself more focused on school since you are immersed in it, while your parents only see the distractions of living on campus.</whatever></p>
<p>What we hear you saying is “I want to go away to college to study a STEM related field” and every parent here will say that that is a fantastic, normal, laudable, realistic, goal with many potential rewards. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Exactly right. If your parents are giving you grief now, it’s because of their fear of the unknown. Not only should you go, but make sure that you show up at your profs office hours and get to know them, even if it’s scary at first. Every college student has moments when they aren’t sure if they’re doing the right thing. Make sure that you have a support system, even if you have to look hard for it.</p>
<p>Good luck to you. There are lots of parents here cheering for you.</p>
<p>To address your concerns: your parents don’t have a college degree and their experience tells them that those who go away fail, so they think the same will apply to you. Show them that you have something none of the people they know who went away for college, had: you have college credits where you got all A’s.
The best predictor of college success is (shockingly :p) success in college classes.
Second, you’re not your sister. They should let you prove that.
Finally, you’re 18 and you’re paying your own way. They want to keep you close even at the cost of your education and your job prospects - time to be grown up for them and leave the nest, it’ll be good for everyone. I’m sure they’re scared for you - hence the “tire excuse”. hey figure if they keep you close, they can protect you. But kids grow up and in families that are lucky enough to have smart, hard-working kids, kids leave for college. That’s the way things go. It’s hard for all parents - in August and September, the Parents Forum is filled with sad and worried parents, but they also know it’s for the best. If they raised their child well, they know the child will come back and in the meanwhile will make them proud. Tell your parents you understand they feel sad and don’t want you to go, but you’re now 18 and they have to let you go and let become an adult. Reassure them you’ll come back and will text them with brief news from time to time.
Go to the end of your plan. You’ve planned things meticulously, no time to go back on something that is obviously well thought-out. </p>
<p>In addition, your parents probably dont realize there’s a huge difference between College B and Texas Tech - they may think one college is roughly the same as another. This may be true for some majors, but it most definitely isn’t for math. You said so yourself: you can see ollege B’s offerings are inadequate considering your preparation (they probably concentrate on the classes you’ve already taken at community college) AND your college professors told you, directly, in no uncertain terms, that you should NOT go there for math. </p>
<p>UCBAlumnus knows math very well. You may get more ideas if you list this year’s math offerings at Texas Tech and at College B, or at least a realistic idea of College B’s worth for a math major vs. TTU. On the other hand, it may not be necessary, since you’ve already been told that College B isn’t a good college for a future math major.</p>
<p>Math is a very versatile major and one that’s highly sought-after by companies. It’s actually better to have a math major than a business major in terms of job prospects and it’s as strong as engineering. Essentially, you can work with computer science (take a couple CS classes alongside your major), finance, data processing/management… LOTS of jobs for a math major, not just teaching - and even teaching is a pretty good job. </p>
<p>The immediate problem is that your parents are in the same situation you are—they do not have the funds available NOW. They’ve said they’ll pay for the repairs AFTER payday. What they are saying is that they cannot afford to pay for that repair now. If you want to go to this orientation, look at the options posters have given you. There must be someone out there going that way with whom you can ride share. As to borrow parent’s car, sibling car, check out your bank’s options for withdrawals, take the hit if it’s not that high on excess withdrawals. What the heck are you getting in terms of interest on that savings account anyways that you have this arrangement that has put you in this predicament?</p>
<p>That your parents are so short on cash/credit that they cannot afford to pay for your tires, when they are willing to do, until the next pay check, is very good indication , that they are living hand to mouth or have their finances set up a certain way that is going it make it difficult for them to pay much or anything for you. How much have they agreed to pay for college costs to you? There is thing called buyer’s remorse, that they may be feeling right now and every dime that they have to pay can make that painful condition hurt more. </p>
<p>Even if the bottom line costs come out the same (which they rarely do) it’s a lot less painful to pick up expenses for one kid who is just continuing to live at home. There are no bills with deadlines on the table, and expenses that have to come out of pocket like those tires, at least not as often, and there are more options. Orientation locally, no big deal, can drop you off and pick you up. When it’s three hours away, that isn’t an option. Lend you the car for the day for local drives, no biggie, do it all the time. For a road trip, mmm, not in the comfort zone. You need to pay for the meal plan–that’s a big chunk right there–let you share the food in the fridge and pantry, join the folks for dinner at home or out, it gets absorbed in the everyday cost. So when you live at home, that’s $7-12K of benefits that your parents can more easily provide in smaller chunks of change, when they feel like providing it, and sometimes with little or no marginal cost. Need to do laundry? it’s really not free, at home, but most all families won’t blink an eye about kids using the washer/dryer facilities at the house. But having to pay for them at school is a whole other story. </p>
<p>So if you want to go away to school, you have to get the money straight. Your parents have a cash flow problem, at very least, and they are going to be resentful of having to dig deep into their pockets for you to go to sleep away college when there is a local option that they consider pretty much “free”. That’s the bottom line here </p>
<p>And believe me, car parts need to be replace, things happen at the most inopportune times in life. When you are away from home, you can’t dip into the family/friend support network as easily much of the time, and you need MONEY now up front for many necessary services. Your parents are sending you a very clear message that they do not want to pay for this sort of thing and may not be able to do so at times. You just got an early warning on the situation with this car/tire predicament. So this is something you need to consider long and hard. </p>
<p>Op,
Wow! I am proud if you.
You have been able to finish community college, evaluate the majors and course offerings at 2 colleges, work and save money to pay for all of your college at Texas tech, and come up with a well thought out plan which is also a very good plan. You are actually amazing.</p>
<ol>
<li><p>Tires and money: go to the bank and talk with one if those bankers that sit behind the desk area. Ask if you can transfer or withdraw money from your savings this 6th time WITHOUT any charges or fines as a special one-time event. Then you can share your story about being the first kid in ur family going to college and why you need the money. I bet the bank does it and waives the fee for you!!! Or they may charge you a very low fee. Pay for the tires, and then your parents can pay you back on pay day. This small bank fee (or no bank fee) is a small price to pay for an investment in your future.</p></li>
<li><p>Math is a great major. You can work in most businesses. Most companies have departments that could use people who are good at math. Also you can go into computer types of jobs. Also, most people change their major when they get to college because they finally get to see all the options that are available that they never had exposure to. The types of majors at Texas tech are the types of majors which will get you a good paying job when you are through, especially if you are as persistent as you are.</p></li>
<li><p>Yes, your sister and parent are basically trying to discourage your from going to Texas tech without directly forbidding you to do it. Since your sister dropped out after 1 semester, they all think this will happen to you. This a normal , emotional response. But u can use your sister’s experience to your advantage. Sit down together over lunch are really talk to her in detail about all of the challenges that she encountered at Texas tech. Then see if you can plan on ways to prevent this from happening to you. You are in a better position than your sister was because you have a wealth of detailed knowledge, namely your sister’s experience, at your fingertips.</p></li>
<li><p>Commuting vs dorming: Your parents are wrong. The college dropout rate for commuting students is HIGHER than the dropout rate for dorming/residential students. Here is the study that shows this
<a href=“Commuter Students - Commuter Student Challenges - Campus, College, Time, and University - StateUniversity.com”>Commuter Students - Commuter Student Challenges - Campus, College, Time, and University - StateUniversity.com;
<li><p>Your parents are scared of the unknown because they have not gone to college. But hundreds of thousands of kids go off to college every year and do well and thrive. There are many subconscious reasons why non-college educated parents do not support or encourage their kids to go to college. They probably don’t realize it themselves. You need to be stronger than your parents. Don’t be scared to take that step and follow the path that it may lead to. </p></li>
<li><p>“What we hear you saying is “I want to go away to college to study a STEM related field” and every parent here will say that that is a fantastic, normal, laudable, realistic, goal with many potential rewards.”</p></li>
</ol>
<p>Yes, this is the normal response of most parents who are college-educated. Since your parents are not college educated, they have a fear of the unknown. Stick around here on cc and we can help provide encouragement for you.</p>
<p>"The rest of me talking to my parents about going to this university in the fall was just lots of reasons why I shouldn’t go:
<p>Most college students change their major. Math majors can get a job in almost any company.</p>
<p>" - That other family members that have tried going off to college have all tried and failed. Instead, the family members that just went to a cheaper university here in our hometown were the ones that succeeded."</p>
<p>You can gather important info from those family members so that you can try to prevent it from happening to you.</p>
<p>“- That if I lived in the dorms (which is what I planned to do), I’d be living in close proximity to students there that only want to party.”</p>
<p>Yes some students want to party all of the time. Some students never party. The majority of students party for 1 or 2 nights and concentrate on their studies or socialize the other 5 nights. The middle way is the best.
You would also be living in close proximity to other students who are fully committed to graduating from a 4 year college. This will increase YOUR chances of ACTUALLY graduating.</p>
<p>" - That from their experience with going and visiting other family members who lived in the dorms, it was just loud music the entire time they were there."</p>
<p>Hee hee! Does not even deserve a response.</p>
<ul>
<li>That I’d get sick of things like the residence hall showers, campus dining halls, etc."</li>
</ul>
<p>If you do, then you move into an apartment with other students during your senior year.</p>
<p>The unknown is scary for your parents. You have done much more thinking and planning about all things college than most college students. Go to Texas tech. You can do it. I have faith in you!</p>
<p>The communication patterns in your family are difficult. It would seem that your parents are sort of sabotaging your plans, in a way that seems almost passive aggressive. There must be some way to get to the orientation.</p>