<p>My parents and especially my mom have always seemed very encouraging about college. All the way before I could read to a couple years ago. But now, for some reason, it seems like they just don't care. It's the end of my junior year so things are about to get going for college. I've brought up lots of universities and they just tone it out. I mentioned applying at rice and UT and I felt like I was talking to a wall. I love in Texas and I've asked many times this year to tour different universities but they just keep saying "oh next time" or "next vacation" or "they're busy and you need to plan months in advance". I love my parents and all, but I feel like they wouldn't care if I got into the Ivy League or some tiny community college. It's just frustrating feeling like I don't have anyone behind me pushing me. I've always been independent, and I can do it without anyone at all, but it would still be nice to hear what they really think</p>
<p>It could be an issue of denial where they learned about what college costs and that they don’t have an easy path to get there.</p>
<p>Ask them. Find a time with your mom when you can have a heart to heart with her and ask her what she thinks about your going to college. Are they concerned about the cost? Are they concerned about your leaving home? Maybe they are trying not to put too much pressure on you and want you to make your own choices. Until you ask, you won’t know.</p>
<p>There could be something going on with them that you don’t know anything about. As BCEagle suggests, maybe it’s the money. Maybe one of them has a serious illness that they’re keeping from you. Maybe they’re jealous of the opportunities you’re going to have. Maybe a sibling is having some trouble you don’t know about and they are preoccupied. Maybe they have come to rely on you, either emotionally or for practical things, and are terrified of your leaving home.</p>
<p>In any event, since you say you can do it alone, I suggest you start doing what you need to do by yourself. Better that than waiting for help that might never come.</p>
<p>Since they have encouraged you until a few years ago, I suspect they will be excited once you are accepted somewhere.</p>
<p>To be honest, I think they don’t have any confidence in me. They don’t think I could get into rice or a difficult university like UCLA. It’s my fault, earlier this year a got a few Bs and didn’t work to my full potential. Now I’m ready to work and they’re not taking me seriously.</p>
<p>Maybe they are readjusting their own expectations, in light of your performance. They may be trying to be realistic.<br>
Btw, there are many excellent schools out there that are not as difficult to get into as Rice and UCLA. There’s nothing wrong with having “dream schools” as long as you realize that it’s a very competitive situation. Why don’t you look into schools where you would have a likely chance of admission- greater than a 30% acceptance rate- and talk with them about a visit to those schools?
UCLA had the highest number of applications this year of any school in the country. If you are out of state, your chances are already slim. They turned away thousands -yes thousands- of qualified California applicants.
My point is, that I don’t even know you and I have little confidence that you can get into UCLA.</p>
<p>“A few Bs”?? Goodness. </p>
<p>If that’s why your parents no longer have confidence in you, they need to learn about realistic expectations!! </p>
<p>Bs are not bad. You can still have “a few Bs” and get into an excellent school.</p>
<p>Pay a visit to your guidance counselor this week, and get a list of places that have admitted students from your high school who had grades like yours. That list an be a good starting point when you talk with your parents.</p>
<p>If money is an issue, point them to the Financial Aid Forum where they can get useful advice.</p>
<p>Would it be useful to have your GC hold a meeting with you and your parents to get the ball rolling? If you could go in to your GC first to set up the meeting, she could be prepared with a list of schools you might want to look at, including some that might give you merit aid. She could also provide information on financial aid in a manner non-threatening to your parents.</p>
<p>My guess is that suddenly your parents are aware of what college costs today, and are avoiding a discussion with you because they are very afraid of disappointing you if they cannot pay the amounts they see out there.</p>
<p>The facts will be what they will be and it is best to get the facts out in the open as early as possible, because if Plan A is not going to work, this gives you time to make a Plan B and a Plan C.</p>
<p>When I’ve encountered parents like this, often money is the issue. When they were talking about college while you were growing up, the assumption may have been for you to commute to the very affordable local state school (which back then may have only been a few hundred per semester). </p>
<p>So, when they hear you talking about colleges that cost $25k-60k per year, they have no idea how their share will get covered. </p>
<p>I would sit BOTH parents down and tell them that you need to have a frank talk. You need to ask how much they can afford to put towards college. If they don’t think they can pay much, you need to know that now, so you can find appropriate schools.</p>
<p>If your parents are low income and have low assets, and you go to a full-need school, then your parents may not be expected to pay much.</p>
<p>If there is the possibility that they will not be able to contribute the expected family contribution expected for need-based financial aid calculations (a definite possibility if they do not like talking about college at all, much less the cost aspect), then you need to add some of these schools to your application list:</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-18.html#post15895768[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1348012-automatic-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-18.html#post15895768</a> (safety candidates)
<a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1461983-competitive-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-2.html#post15889078[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/financial-aid-scholarships/1461983-competitive-full-tuition-full-ride-scholarships-2.html#post15889078</a> (non-safety candidates)</p>
<p>When you talk to your parents, assure them that if money is a big issue, that there are schools that may give you large merit for your stats (I’m assuming that if you’re interested in Rice, then you have stats that would yield HUGE merit at other schools).</p>
<p>If you tell your parents that there are such schools out there, they may relax and tell you that those schools may be your likely best hope. As disappointed as you may be, it’s good to know that NOW, since you then would need to identify the right schools and get apps in. Many of those large scholarship schools require applications to be submitted in the Fall and have Nov or Dec 1 deadlines for merit consideration.</p>
<p>Do YOU know where you’re likely to be accepted? Take your rank, gpa and test scores (or projected test scores) and do some research on some of the schools in Texas. If you already know your major, that helps too. Get online and learn as much as you can about the appropriate schools within your short list. Maybe if you go to your parents with some hard data about how X school will definitely accept you and how their college of Y is really exciting to you, they’ll be more open. Also, if you’re in the top 10%, you qualify for a renewable scholarship of $2000 per year. Every little bit helps. Currently all state colleges in Texas have to accept you if you’re top 10% except for UT, which I think is 8% right now. I know that’s changing soon, so double check me. Also, if you’re top 25%, with an SAT of 1300 (at least a 600 in each CR & M), you’re an automatic academic admit to Texas A&M.</p>
<p>This may have nothing to do with you. Sure it could be finances. Or they could have their own interpersonal issues, marital issues, work, all kinds of things. Are they as apathetic about other parts of their lives? I say this becuase this is a real possibility. It’s an age parents hit, and sadly it can seep into other parts of the family life. Are you an only child? Are they involved in your life in other ways?</p>
<p>It’s not the couple of B’s. It’s something else, you just need to pay attention. Do you have friends who are doing college visits? Can you tag along? </p>
<p>Ask to do things with your parents together and seperately to try and reconnect. Don’t jump in with college talk. See if that helps.</p>