<p>*what students typically do to reduce cost is commute. That will probably be increasingly popular in coming years. Thank God my kids managed to find a college they could live at. *</p>
<p>This was quite typical in the 70s when I went to college. Most kids didn’t go “away” to school - too expensive. And, you don’t have to live in a major city to have a school close enough to commute to. Yes, those who live in Timbuktu rural areas may not have that option, but those who live in suburbia/bedroom communities often have a university that they can commute to.</p>
<p>R6L, is used the word “often” specifically because of you.</p>
<p>I’m sorry you are offended, but being responsible for yourself is not the same is holding yourself responsible for someone else. It is not less important, valuable, honorable. It is just DIFFERENT. I was speaking of the feelings of a group of which you aren’t a member. Again, not less, not worse, just different. I would expect YOU to be the expert on the feelings or experiences of someone paying for their own education and wouldn’t presume to think that I could understand all of that because I can’t. I’ve never been there. It’s part of that walking in someone else’s shoes thing. It’s just as relevant to people who are older and may have more money in finding common ground.</p>
<p>Rocket6Louise is a very responsible young lady who is responsible for all of her college costs. She carefully selected colleges that would likely be able to help her with her costs because she is a very strong student. </p>
<p>sorry zm…rereading your post, I realize you meant different, not less. Sorry, this is just something I am very passionate about and sometimes(well…most of the time) get hot headed about. </p>
<p>I do agree we walk in very different shoes, I just hate feeling pushed out of the conversation(not by you, but by most parents) because of my age/experience.</p>
<p>thanks mom2!!! you’re the absolute best cheerleader :D</p>
<p>R6L, I know you’ve been beaten up on other threads and may be a little battle scarred, so I do understand.</p>
<p>I’m not saying the parents are RIGHT, in fact, often the opposite. I’m just saying that the desire of most parents to make life perfect for their kids is so strong that otherwise sane people will actually say things like “poor kids have it easier” and it’s not because they’re stupid (but they may be stupid) it’s because of that parental tunnel vision. I think many parents manifest it in different ways. I know with absolute certainty that I do, just not about this, because I don’t have a frame of reference with regard to higher educatino and I’m grateful for the fact that my kids were even admitted! Again, not asking you to agree with the parents, just to understand that we all have a bit of brain damage with regard to our kids. If you look at it that way, it may not feel so personal.</p>
<p>“UNC is cheaper but VA has W&M for the LAC lovers.”</p>
<p>UNC Ashville is pretty good for LAC lovers and IMO under-rated. UNC has one of the best honors colleges for those who want small classes. That being said, couldn’t convince D on either one. But, we did find affordable options elsewhere.</p>
<p>I think a lot of HS students are “protected” from the money conversation. If they weren’t they could start basing their college search on reality. The time to find out you can’t afford it shouldn’t be in April. R6L and applicannot and Keil, knew where they stood and planned accordingly. I know they are intelligent hardworking women as evidenced by the colleges that selected them. They made choices based on facts and pragmatism. </p>
<p>We have been open with our son about finances, my husband’s compensation is fairly high and we have accumulated some assets. S is aware of all of this. He also is aware of our expectations, we call his tuition payments the Family Scholarship. He has to maintain certain grades and certain standards of behavior(no getting arrested at the absolute minimum) to have his “scholarship” renewed. My niece found out she would be taking out substantial loans a few weeks ago. That is terrible.</p>
<p>"This is one of the instances where I tend to get dismissed’</p>
<p>I’m sorry to report that this is not going to get better for a long, long time. I’m turning 35 this week, and people are finally beginning to accept that I know my own mind…23 years after I first started saying that I did not plan to have children.</p>
<p>You folks are acting as though this is a new trend. Seriously, move out to the midwest. Plenty of upper-middle class, well-to-do folks won’t seriously consider sending their kids to anything other than the state flagship universities, because they know the kids will do fine, they don’t need a fancy-schmancy degree to be financially successful, and no one thinks twice when the valedictorian heads off to Illinois or Indiana or Wisconsin or thinks it’s a “shame” that the kid doesn’t have an elite name on the diploma.</p>
<p>UNC system has 15+ campuses to pick from. And the most expensive is UNC Chapel Hill running about $5200 in-state per year in tuition, all the rest charge less for tuition. And the room and board also varies, again very low.</p>
<p>When leaving CA we were looking for something that would come close to the UC system and now that we have been here 7 years, the UNC system never fails to impress me.
In-state tuition for med school at UNC runs about $11,000 per year in-state. Yes, med school, ECU’s med school is less at $7100 per year in-state! With the average debt of med school grads running $175,000+, I LOVE the NC state system!</p>
<p>Now with 5 kiddos there was more than their “dream school” on the line. Rather it was attending at all. “Fit” was a luxury but with the many options they ended up having, “fit” did play a part after all. But we did use every resource/opportunity available.</p>
<p>Another great option was the close-by CC charges $50 per semester unit. So summers were spent taking classes there and the local 4 year as well, charges about $100 per semester unit. They were able to work, study and do research without needing too much of my support…which all resulted in no undergrad debt on their part.</p>
<p>They have been involved in the financial part of the process since at least middle school and the younger ones even sooner. With this knowledge they were able to better plan and know when to make the sacrifices/ seize opportunities to give them all a better future, which hopefully included college.</p>
<p>Kat
so yes moving to NC was one of our “better” decisions!</p>
<p>People project their own beliefs onto others. Only rare people have true receptive intelligence that allows them to really listen to others, and we all experience this.</p>
<p>As for zm talking about mistakes – sigh. Hindsight is so clear right? We are all stumbling toward the goal. All the kids are getting educated, or most of them anyway. Even my own darling community college students whom I teach and am passionately committed to.</p>
<p>Everything looms very large those last years in high school, but which college you attend fades for most.</p>
<p>I really think the people one meets, students and professors, are the essence of the college experience. My own dear mentor whom I met at a lackluster (in other people’s eyes, not in mine) state university went to night school at Brooklyn College while working as a telephone operator. Then she got her PhD. at Yale. She made a huge impact on my life, and if I’d gone to a more prestigious school, I never would have met her.</p>
<p>Every path has straightaways and twisty parts. I like the twisty parts. Give us character.</p>
<p>That said, I think this subject will always be contentious.</p>
<p>I do want to support something Hanna said – it is madness for high earners to envy low earners for the supposed perks the system affords them. It’s not really true.</p>
<p>I am always amazed that people resent folks on welfare but not Enron scammers etc. Where does our money really go? Let’s not begrudge folks health care, a decent place to live or a college education.</p>
<p>College Confidential members helped us very much for the past 8 years. More than many of them will ever know. </p>
<p>Well, some of them know! While doing my homework on colleges, application and financial aid CC was there for us. There was no stupid question and many times I did not even know what questions to ask.</p>
<p>And sometimes no one knew the answer but provided suggestions on how to figure it out. Just someone mentioning there could possibly be an answer gave me the confidence to look.</p>
<p>Son that is graduating 6/1 did not have that school on his radar. It was CC that provided us with suggestions and advice…and hope. He is profoundly appreciative of the four years he spent learning “everything about anything”. He completed a 100+ page thesis on a subject that might someday be useful…this from someone who disliked writing. Much more of a doer. </p>
<p>And that debt to CC I will always have…and hopefully will be able to pay it forward.</p>
<p>Kat, I initially thought that I “lucked out” by being in NC. Though D is not staying in-state, S is at UNC-CHH and D would be going as well if she didn’t get as good or better financial aid offers elsewhere. But, I just realized, we’re here due to school as well. Both H and myself moved here to get a great graduate education. Beware though, I consider our state taxes to be high which offsets some of the educations advantages.</p>
<p>When we moved to DC we chose Virginia over MD for many reasons, but I cannot say I was not aware of UVA.</p>
<p>17 years later, and I have a DD who has had social issues over the years, and who is determined she wants a school no bigger than 5000 or so. And my wife and I, who have been deeply involved over the years, strongly agree. All kinds of factors, not all of which I want to go into here, went into that decision. </p>
<p>W&M would have been ideal - except DD wants to be an architect (earlier it was arch or engineering, and engineering is still her back up career if she changes her mind) No Arch at W&M, so that was out.</p>
<p>Fortunately she got a pretty good FA package from RPI, including merit and need grants. So we are pursuing the future, brightly and positively.</p>
<p>But what sometimes seems to me to be the facile assumptions that state U’s work for everyone, I continue to find offputting. Even more so, when folks who borrow for privates are accused of somehow endangering the republic with fiscal irresponsibility, while the tax payer $ to make those state Us affordable is ignored. </p>
<p>And, BTW, there are plenty of midwestern kids at eastern elite schools. Not to mention at midwestern privates, of which one could easily come up with a long list, both elite and not so elite.</p>