Let’s start with the basics. What do you want to do with your life? Come over to my house, I’ll make you some nice chicken parm, and we’ll talk about it. (And then I’d probably tell you you’re crazy to turn down Princeton), but it’s your life. You have to do what is right for you.
@colhopeful443 Oh yes, including Barnard absolutely
Does Princeton have an exchange/visiting student program ? If so, then you could study at another school, or abroad, for a year.
You have to let go of Columbia if your parents won’t pay. What is your lowest cost option? Vanderbilt? UVA? Can you go anywhere for free or near free to get away from your parents? Then go to Columbia for grad school or hang out in New York for a summer job or student exchange program.
(It seems like you have “name brand-itis” just as bad as your parents, you just have a different set of brands on your list.
Price is same and cheapest
can we go back to the part where you got into Vanderbilt EDII? isn’t that binding??
OP there is a lot going on here. A LOT. Beyond just where you attend college this fall. Parent-child relationships can be so complicated. You have a whole lifetime to work it out, but for now, focus on what needs to happen by May 1st.
You need your parents because they will have to pay the bills…and you are expessing a complete rejection of the very school they want to pay for. Do you have a family friend, clergy or relative who can help mediate?
Both Columbia and Princeton are amazing schools with plenty of prestige. If the cost is the same and the OP feels Columbia is the better fit, his parents should let him make an adult decision to choose the place he feels better about. I suggest he discuss the situation with his GC ASAP and see if an objective party might lend some sanity to the situation at a time that should be for celebration instead of turmoil.
I switched to RD @collegemom3717
@RandyErika What parents “should do” and what controlling parents will actually do are two different things.
Based on OP’s previous posts, there isn’t a healthy family dynamic here.
@Dankjewel
I’m so sorry you’re in this situation! You’ve done such a great job getting into these very very selective schools and you’re not getting to experience any of the joy of your accomplishments. However, time will get you past all of this. Hang in there!
For now, your best way out of the controlling family dynamic is a great education. You can get that at any of the schools you’ve been accepted to but if you can stick it out at Princeton that will allow you to have great opportunities to do so. I think you also said you got a full ride at Vanderbilt. Less prestige but that would free you of financial dependence on your parents. You might also consider discussing the situation honestly with a Columbia admissions officer to see if they would make an exception and allow you to be considered independent. Then you would qualify for more aid and perhaps not be dependent on your parents to pay. Your situation is unique (although not so much among Asians) and quite concerning. Talking to a counselor who understands the Asian family dynamic and can help you to develop some strategies and coping mechanisms would also be a good idea.
As to the culture @ Princeton, as another poster mentioned, it will ultimately be what you make it. (I’ve lived in the area for 10+ years.) Getting involved in the surrounding towns and areas off campus might help you to distance from the University culture you object to. Neighboring towns like Plainsboro, Lawrenceville, Ewing are DECIDEDLY less, um, Princeton.
Call their bluff. Tell them you are taking some time off and won’t go to college at all right now. 
I’m only half joking. If they are so concerned about their friends and appearances, you not going to college will not make them look good.
That said, you’ll find preppy students and non-preppy students at both universities and are bound to find your tribe wherever you go.
Playing armchair analyst here, I wonder if part of your dislike for Princeton has to do with how much your parents love it? I completely understand the dynamic of not wanting to give overbearing parents what they want. However, the notion that Princeton is somehow a booby prize for not getting to attend Columbia or Vanderbilt is truly a first-world gripe. I don’t mean to diminish the issue of your parents’ control issues and what sounds like conditional love. That’s a horrible cross for you to bear. But you may need to just suck it up and go to Princeton (something thousands would love to do!). Keep your eye on the prize – a great education that can provide you the key to independence.
Despite what I’ve written, I am rooting for you and wish you all the best.
My son is also accepted by those 2 colleges, and will attend the College Days from tomorrow at Columbia, and on 16-17 at Princeton. I will be there with him.
My son seems to prefer Columbia as well due to its less sterilized, more hipster atmosphere after very short visiting both colleges. I honestly felt the same as him, but what we can tell in these 2 hour visit? I told him to reset his prejudice now, and meet and talk the students and people at the college days.
I would recommend doing the same, visit both colleges with your parents, and tell them what you do not like, and what you like. This is probably the best way you can convince your parents. Good luck!
I have visited and hung out with students…that sealed the deal
Well, I don’t know how many times you have visited both colleges, but I honestly think it’s not less silly choosing a college solely based on your short visit impression than choosing a college based on USNEWS ranking. And the reason why I recommended you to visit the colleges again is, not to change your mind, but to convince your parents.
Parents made me visit Princeton TWICE previously. They arranged meetings with princeton alum to talk to me abd stuff. Their DREAM was sending me to Princeton since I was young.
Columbia not so much
I visited and hung out overnight with students on both campuses this week. I also partipated in club meetings
Your parents have all of the power in your relationship with them. Looks like you either go to Princeton or be disowned.
Looks like your best choice is to go to Princeton, put up with it for four years, and graduate. Then you will have the power to disown them because they will no longer have (financial) power over your future.
Or, if you got a full ride merit scholarship (that does not depend on their financial aid form cooperation) somewhere, you may be able to escape their control without having to go to Princeton. (But then you will have to earn some money on your own for summers and breaks after they disown you.)
I am concerned that you are having such an extreme reaction to the prospect of attending Princeton. You are angry that your parents are bullying you into a decision. This is unfortunate but you will not change their view of the world.
If I were you, I would consider shifting your attitude. You can think “I have the opportunity to go to one of the finest universities in the world, with a beautiful campus and limitless opportunities. There is a wide range of kids attending Princeton and I will be able to find some nice people to develop friendships with. I will make the most of this situation.”