So I have a dilemma: I agreed to room with my current dorm roommate back in November for the upcoming academic year (August 2021). However, I’ve met a few other girls that I tend to get along with better and they invited me to room with them (one of them is also in my sorority). My roommate actually knew both of them prior to me which makes this more difficult. I’d hoped my roommate would be open to rooming with them but she isn’t.
The hard part is that my roommate is a good one. She does try to make changes when needed and is clean and all of that. The issues I have are minor but add up. She can definitely be controlling and passive aggressive —making comments about how I dress, do homework, or if I sleep in. Overall, she’s not a bad person, but as someone with anxiety her judgement can rub off on me and have a negative effect. It definitely feels like she tries to take on a parenting role.
We’re very different from each other and can definitely get in each other’s nerves, but that’s natural for any roommate I’m sure. In addition to these issues, she wants her friend of 5 years to move in with us. The friend is great, but I’m worried about this 3-person situation that might end up leaving someone (probably me) out.
I feel like my better option is with these other girls, though I don’t know them super well. I don’t want to ruin my friendship with my roommate though. Is it worth it to go back on my promise to her if I feel like I’d be better off mentally with the others? Am I giving up something that’s already good?