<p>I have been out of college since 2006 and have been making regular on-time payments on my school loans. I met my wife in 2006 and got married in 2007. She has a lot of school loans that were granted prior to our marriage and some after our marriage. I fear that she may never be able to pay them. She keeps deferring them year after year. If the loans go into repayment mode and she defaults on them, can the lenders come after me for repayment? I know they can go after wages and tax returns but would I be held liable for a debt that is solely hers? If we filed separate tax returns, can the lenders come after my return? All of her loans are federal loans with no cosigners.</p>
<p><a href=“http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/628417-how-would-you-feel-about-your-kid-marrying-someone-large-student-loan.html?highlight=feel+son%2Fdaughter+marrying+debt[/url]”>http://talk.collegeconfidential.com/parents-forum/628417-how-would-you-feel-about-your-kid-marrying-someone-large-student-loan.html?highlight=feel+son%2Fdaughter+marrying+debt</a></p>
<p>^You might enjoy reading this thread.</p>
<p>If she defaults on her loans, how do the two of you plan to get approval for a mortgage later down the road?</p>
<p>Your question is one for a financial/credit advisor. </p>
<p>That the loans are “college” loans rather than some other kind of loans does not change the consequences of a default. It can be major – not simply in regard to a getting a low credit rating, and the impact on future loans. But it can affect your and your wife’s job prospects. Increasingly employers check out the credit ratings of applicants, and a default can mean rejection. In some professions, a default on loans can be fatal to a career.</p>
<p>Think long and hard before taking the “easy” route.</p>
<p>This is just a big “what if” question. If she could not afford to make payments I would not let it slip into default without trying to work with the lender.</p>
<p>I am paying off my loans in 10 to 15 years but I know some people who re-financed their school loans to pay them off over 30 years just so they could have a low monthly payment. I would not be in favor of that since as of right now her normal payment would only be $200 or so.</p>
<p>Mortgage…I never intended to have her sign a mortgage with me. She has no credit history to bring to the table and her income is not significant. Up until a few months ago she had been working part-time at a day-care. But now she is working full-time as a customer service supervisor but her salary is only 40% of what I make and if her loans were in repayment, after paying loans, daycare fees, and buying gas for the car, she wouldn’t have much money leftover at all.</p>
<p>If we ever have another child we won’t be able to afford daycare for two kids and she would have to stay at home, and that means I would have to come up with extra money for her school loans when the deferment is up. Financially, I am not in favor of having anymore kids (I only have one right now).</p>
<p>I had thought about waiting longer to get married, waiting longer to have kids, etc. But folks who have lived a lot more life than me (I am only 26) said if you wait for the perfect time to do something you will never get it done.</p>
<p>Student loans won’t go away, so they need to be paid. I’m not sure how she’s been able to defer them so long, but depending on the loan, she may be collecting more interest. You’re married–to me, this means going at everything together, including student loan debt.</p>
<p>Do not default on a college loan. They will get their money and they will destroy your credit. Even bankruptcy doesn’t excuse college loans.</p>
<p>And while not college loan related, I was divorced for nearly a decade when a company came after me for a credit debt my ex-husband had. It took me nearly a year to prove I had no connection to when he even incurred the debt, let alone his default of it. And during that year, my own credit rating took a hit. Unfair? yep. And here your wife actually is responsible for the debt. She agreed to buy services for which she now needs to pay. What I don’t get is how she can be deferring her loans when she has a job. She should at least be required to pay the interest.</p>
<p>I would suggest you meet with some sort of financial planner (NOT a debt consolidator) to come up with a reasonable method before this becomes an albatross around your neck.</p>
<p>Why does your wife defer the loans? Is she still in school? Or is she working? Or is she unemployed?</p>
<p>It sounds like you are married and have at least one child already. I suggest you start treating her student loan as a “we” situation and the two of you <em>plan</em> right now to start paying off this debt. It just seems like you are wanting to avoid paying on it as long as possible… it may be better to start budgeting and paying off on this student loan now rather than waiting (and potentially interest collecting on the original loan).
If it defaults for lack of attention, you may be looking at added penalties as well. </p>
<p>Watch some of the TV shows that deal with debt (Suze Orman, Til Debt Do Us Part, etc) or find some books on the topic of couples and debt. It is probably the case, as with many couples young and old, that money and debt is a topic that hasn’t been discussed enough yet. Many couples may find that they need to have a crash curse on how t structure their spending and debt repayment.</p>
<p>Good luck. There isn’t a quick fix, but dealing with this head on will be very good for the long term outlook of your family’s finances.</p>
<p>Now that you’re married and have a child, it’s time to shift gears and stop breaking things up into “hers” and “mine”. You have a wife and a child–a family unit. Finances/property are not to be viewed as “his” or “hers” but “ours”. </p>
<p>Along with marrying your wife, you have married her debt. Do not default on the loans. If this means that you need to work a second job, then do it. If she’s staying home to take care of the kids, she should consider offering child care services. This will bring in some additional money to the household. Another idea is to try to find work where the two of you work different shifts. This would eliminate child care expenses.</p>
<p>Re: She has no credit rating.<br>
^What will happen if something happens to you and she is left with no credit rating? She needs to begin build up a good credit history now.</p>
<p>“But now she is working full-time as a customer service supervisor but her salary is only 40% of what I make and if her loans were in repayment, after paying loans, daycare fees, and buying gas for the car, she wouldn’t have much money leftover at all.”</p>
<p>^At least there will be SOMETHING leftover that can go towards attempting to pay off the loan debt. That’s more than she’ll have if she doesn’t work.</p>
<p>“Mortgage…I never intended to have her sign a mortgage with me.”
^Don’t you intend for the home to be in both your name and your wife’s name?</p>
<p>Your DW is lucky as you are, if your they are government guaranteed lpans prior to July 1, 2006. </p>
<p>You are an engineer for goodness-sakes. You’re in equipment maintenance. You know about equipment wear and how unattended wear accelerates. You and your’s have capital equipment (principal) that is <em>un-attended</em> (interest) and is accelerating (compounding). Get yourself to the DOE or finaid.com or the loan servicing site. ASAP.</p>
<p>The solution can be found in about an hour worth of reading and using the online calculators.</p>
<p>I agree with the above…</p>
<p>Also, in many states, any loans that were taken out during the marriage are a joint responsibility anyway. And, if she now refinances any of those loans taken out before the marriage, that part will likely be your responsibility, too (in many states).</p>
<p>Mortgage…I never intended to have her sign a mortgage with me. She has no credit history to bring to the table and her income is not significant. Up until a few months ago she had been working part-time at a day-care. But now she is working full-time as a customer service supervisor but her salary is only 40% of what I make and if her loans were in repayment, after paying loans, daycare fees, and buying gas for the car, she wouldn’t have much money leftover at all.</p>
<p>You seem to have NO IDEA of what marriage is about. Married people take mortgages out on homes together…it’s a joint home. It’s not “your home” because you’d be paying for it.</p>
<p>you will likely always make more money than she will. She probably does a LOT more childcare and homecare than YOU do.</p>
<p>she wouldn’t have much money leftover at all.</p>
<p>Sure she would…she’d have YOUR money left over. And why is childcare costs her responsibility? Isn’t it your child, too. Seriously, you need an attitude adjustment pronto or this marriage won’t last. And, then you’ll be paying her child support payments. Think about it.</p>
<p>You and your wife should both work as hard as you can to pay back this debt. It will be really hard to do this, especially since you have a kid, but people do it. Your idea that this will be your only kid is a good one. Having another kid will just add to the financial pressure you already have.</p>
<p>Married people don’t always own homes or take out mortgage together, but most people do.</p>
<p>Don’t think about having another child before you have your finance straighten out. People are not entitled to have children, it’s a privilege.</p>
<p>Only if she dies would you not be responsible for her college loans (God forbid).</p>
<p>You are building a life together. Start paying down the loans and protect her credit rating, which does affect yours when you apply for credit together.</p>
<p>This one falls under the “for richer or for POORER” clause.</p>
<p>You married her and her debt, so you start in the “poorer” part of this clause. </p>
<p>I married a woman with a load of credit card debt. Knew it going in and paid it off within 30 days of the ceremony. Put a big ding in our (key word here is our) savings. Been rebuilding our wealth (key word again is our) ever since.</p>
<p>And the woman I married has developed long term health issues. I married them along with her. That one falls under the “in sickness and in health” clause. I plan to be there to help with those as time goes along as well, even though it won’t get any better. </p>
<p>Just part of the bargain. You may have a plan of buying a house, etc., but “we” are not divisible in marraige. You don’t get to choose which part of the spouse to keep and which part to set aside. The college debt does not go away, therefore it is YOURS (in the plural possessive sense of the word). You may as well start making the payments.</p>
<p>“I had thought about waiting longer to get married, waiting longer to have kids, etc. But folks who have lived a lot more life than me (I am only 26) said if you wait for the perfect time to do something you will never get it done.” </p>
<p>Well, those people obviously gave you horrible advice. There may never be a “perfect” time to have a child, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with waiting until you have both the personal and financial maturity to handle raising another human life. Accidents happen, surprises happen, but if you plan to have a kid before you know you are ready, that is just stupid. </p>
<p>Regardless, I’m 99% sure this thread is complete and utter ■■■■■ BS.</p>
<p>goaliedad – I don’t mean to be disrespectful but having the money to pay off debt is different than staring at debt and knowing you’re going to have to work very hard for years if you want to have any hope of being out from under it.</p>
<p>We’re such a world of have and have nots. Some people have parents who can pay the full tuition at any school they want to go to. Some people have to put themselves through school and then spend years repaying their debt.</p>
<p>I feel for justinmeche, I never had student loans but I was in his position of having young kids and working very hard and never having any extra money at the end of the month. My mother could never comprehend my exhaustion or why I never seemed to have any money, but she never walked in my shoes. She was a stay at home mother and my father made a good income and good for them but it was more of a struggle for us.</p>
<p>Now sadly my mother has passed and financially I’m comfortable and I feel like I’m on the other side of the looking glass, but I remember what it was like and I really do feel for justinmeche. Once again, I mean no disrepect goaliedad, I’ve seen your posts on other threads and I’ve always enjoyed them.</p>
<p>I really disagree with most of the posters here who think marriage automatically means you have to have joint finances in everything. I think it is perfectly reasonable to keep your accounts and assets separate throughout your marriage and simply have an agreement on how you each contribute to the family finances. Why not keep the house in one person’s name, if the other spouse is able to accumulate savings in another way? I see it as prudent and wise for the OP to question his liability with regard to his wife’s debts. This is absolutely a personal choice and should be discussed before marriage, and hopefully one can find a partner who is on the same page. But I drill into my daughters’ my hope that they will keep their own financial independence if they marry, whatever resources their spouses may have.</p>
<p>Pea,</p>
<p>When I married my wife, I was 25, 3.5 years out of undergrad, with a 3-year-old car which I bought myself (and no car payment). I was able to buy my wife a nice ring, pay for the honeymoon (Aruba) and still had enough money to pay off her debts (about 1/2 of a new compact car).</p>
<p>Yes, I was blessed with graduating without debt (although I was at the beginning of the student loan era) primarily because I chose to go to a public school and work hard during summers (70 hours a week during the recession with unemployment as high as it is now). My folks were generous enough to provide my R&B at college while I paid the tuition out of my earnings. I bought my own clothes and paid for my own entertainment. I didn’t splurge on spring break. No car at school. Shared car at home. After college, I was on my own. I didn’t come from money, growing up in an area that was gang ridden, where the dropout rate was in excess of 70%. No advantages here.</p>
<p>I worked as a programmer (at the time about 20% less than what engineers made), shared a modest apartment (no amenities) and lived frugally until I was married (and then the frugality still continued). We saved enough to put a downpayment on a small house in a blue collar community in the next year and started our family. My wife like the OP’s worked in jobs (instructional assistant) that weren’t counted on for paying for housing, etc., as she took 5 years off while our children were young, doing in-home daycare for pin-money.</p>
<p>So while I probably didn’t marry into as much debt as the OP, I also didn’t start with as much earning power either. However, I knew up front that life wasn’t going to be easy and made hay while the sun shined. I met the woman I have spent my life with during these years and dealth with the “Poorer” part of the vows. </p>
<p>OP has not come to terms with the reality of his life. He has made a choice of spouse without doing the math on how much love can really cost. The thought of abandoning his spouses debts and playing hide the money from bill collectors by holding assets and income in his name strikes me as either very immature or morally challenged. Nobody said that his wife was hoodwinked by some fly-by-night school into taking on stupid amounts of debt for a worthless degree. It just sounds like financing his wants (house and family NOW) by stiffing the financiers of her degree which she chose leading to the career path she chose.</p>
<p>If this is the morality of the upcoming generation, this economy is doomed as eventually nobody will want to lend money to anyone. Just because you see the commercials showing the easy way out of debts, doesn’t make it ethical nor good for the overall economy. </p>
<p>I am optimistic that by and large Americans don’t fall into this thinking. I am hoping that this is a random stray thought of a sleep-deprived (I remember the days of young children) parent.</p>
<p>OP has a good education and a good job. They haven’t been dealt an unfair hand, just made choices that they claim they cannot afford. There is no reason for him to be making strategic decisions on debt defaults. He just needs to make the changes to their lifestyle necessary to be responsible adults.</p>
<p>goaliedad – I continue to enjoy your posts. Cheers.</p>