Defaulting on college loans

Parent Cafe
61

<p>*The main financial complaint about my wife was parking tickets. She was not authorized to park in a lot that is close to her job. In 2008 she had $300 in tickets that I paid off. She admitted to those tickets. In 2009 I found out about $1,000+ in more tickets and she has never admitted to being responsible for this. They are tickets from her college campus job. The problem is that the car she used is registered in my name and I am also an alumni, which means the tickets are now tied to my student account. There is still $400 in tickets left. The tickets are computer printouts. No handwritten carbon copies exist and no camera in the area that could prove whether or not the car was there. *</p>

<p>At this point, there’s no point in getting her to admit that she’s responsible…everyone and the baby know that she’s responsible for those tickets. Instead of asking/expecting her to “man up” and admit, it’s better just to matter-of-factly state that these are her tickets and paying for them is going to mean that luxuries and extras can’t be purchased for a period of time - including new cell phones.</p>

<p>Your wife is acting very immaturely - the tickets were the result of “I know I’m not supposed to park here, but it’s easier therefore I will. I don’t care if I get tickets; I’ll just pretend that I don’t know anything about them.” …I suggest either marital counseling or if that is unaffordable, then seek some guidance at a church or temple. Either way, she needs an attitude adjustment otherwise you’re in for some major financial difficulties. I don’t know if this is the result of her upbringing, but if she was rarely denied what she wanted, then that is going to be a problem.</p>

<p>Cut up all the credit cards. The family position should be that no more is put on credit.</p>

62

<p>It can be quite difficult to want to have the big unpleasantness that will arise when this money issue is confronted, but allow me to give you a reason to have a serious discussion with your wife. It is critical to your financial future that you and your wife agree on a financial strategy. I have dear friends who I have known for 40+ years. At the time of their wedding, they bought a home (mid 1980s) for about $175k. Now, 25 years later, they have refinanced several times, each time taking cash out for personal expenses. All those years they never improved the home, never painted, never did more than the minimum repairs.</p>

<p>Now they owe double their original mortgage and when the husband was laid off a few years ago, between their 1st & 2nd mortgage they were in danger of losing their home. Had the wife lived more frugally, they could have paid off that mortgage on a 20-30 year schedule…</p>

<p>He is very frugal, she is very spending, not on big stuff like cars and trips, but little stuff, like expensive clothes for the kids. Both parents have worked full time all their adult lives, including when the kids were tiny babies.</p>

<p>It is weird to have watched them all these years and to see how little they have attained in the big picture, and yet she shops all the time; I don’t really know what she buys, but nearly any time I talk to her she is out shopping.</p>

<p>She worked hard, but she just does not “get” money and he never forced the issue and they should be able to retire now with no mortgage, but instead are in their same home with a larger than ever debt :(</p>

<p>Find a third party counselor and work this out, but remember, you chose her, perhaps you did not check into the money issue as much as you wish, but you chose her and you are partners, so find a way to work as a team</p>

63

<p>^^^^
So true…there are too many people that live this way.</p>

<p>That is why the pay yourself first philosophy is a great way to start a marraige. Save a proportion of what you earn every pay period. The money saved should be forgotten about and not tapped into because the dishwasher broke and you need a new one. This way of living saved us from losing our home, when my husband could not find employment once his package was gone.</p>