<p>@CheddarcheeseMN , @GodMode, @xoxo14, @MYOS1634 , @MidwestDad3.</p>
<p>Thank you very much for the advice! I know clearly see how my essay was ineffective and I will begin re-writing it now. All of the feedback here has been helpful and I will post a re-written version soon ( if anyone is interested to help out more). </p>
<p>@xoxo14 The “stuff” part was my unsuccessful line to be humorous (EPIC FAIL) - getting rid of it!</p>
<p>@MYOS1634 Your explanation makes perfect sense and will be working on re-focusing. Your specific advice on repeating junior year and removing the parents part is so correct. I have focused on the wrong things throughout the writing… Declarative sentence, as you mentioned, is what I must add to attempt to convince that I was just a simple mistake of the past…</p>
<p>@MidwestDad3 I was hoping to be unique but my current essay has completely destroyed this approach.
I did not write about Kazakhstan or any topic along the lines as it would be mundane. I think I’ll now discuss my past in relation to boarding school/ american University.
What do you think If I directly “talk” with the officer in the essay acknowledging the risk. Let’s say beginning (just an idea) with “Why should you take responsibility over admitting a " past troublemaker/liability” instead of a normal student and following with a (hopefully) convincing, not vague but detailed explanation.</p>