Point taken about partying not being mutually exclusive from creative and intellectual passions. I think it’s more a question of the excess, and whether someone who just chooses not to drink, or to drink only moderately (once that’s a legal option) will be accepted. D kind of got the impression from the students she met that there might be a question about that. Totally see that acceptance needs to come from her side too, but it generally does…
There are a bunch of other threads on CC where a student is also having a hard time making a decision, but in many of those cases, the issue is that more than one school is ‘loved’ Seems like your D does not love these 3 schools, so perhaps @doschicos is on to something with the suggestion that she relook at some of the other schools she was accepted to. Perhaps these 3 are the wrong 3?
And fwiw @momofzag makes an excellent point that kids who party are often intellectual too.
This morning, my D read this thread. And she immediately said “I don’t want to take Roch off the list. I would rather take Dickinson off the list.” Now, she might say something different this afternoon. I think she wants to be around intellectually-stimulating students more than she realized. Of course, that doesn’t means students at Dickinson aren’t. @prairiemom she needs to get her head around the partying “issue” , because I am starting to think that Kenyon is the best bet. If Roch was an LAC, it would probably win. But it isn’t, and that is her big problem with Roch. I wonder if people might be offended to think that Kenyon is a “compromise?”
I will have her read the latest comments when she gets home, and I am going to leave her to her thoughts for a few days.
My D had good internship opportunities at Dickinson, and found her job after graduating through an older Dickinson student she knew who worked there. (She is still with the same company four years later, very happy, and has been promoted a couple of times). I think Dickinson has a bit more of a practical bent than most LACs – they certainly give a solid liberal arts education, but they are looking for ways to help their students succeed in the job market after graduation, too. One thing they do is they give some financial support to students who get unpaid internships to help cover their costs – it is competitive, not everyone gets it, but it is possible for students to apply for it and some do get it (my D applied and didn’t get it, but she knows students who did). I think they offer some additional certificates (not full majors) that students can get in various areas, too.
@wisteria100 , she is a non-believer is the concept of “this is the one.” (Going to laugh if her future husband is a “love at first sight” thing.) Her problem is that she is indecisive, and this is a huge decision for a 17 year old to make. She likes many things about each of these three, she dislikes things about them too. Like so many other kids, she didn’t get in to her top choice best fit school.
We are done with visits. She has three great choices. She has to man up and decide:-)
Joining those who say it’s too soon to get anxious. My D decided on April 29th or so. You’ve still got plenty of time.
I’m kind of a broken record with my citing of Princeton Review’s student-survey-based ratings for things like professors being interesting, but, for whatever it’s worth, Kenyon really rocks them. Dickinson does well, too; Rochester a bit less so. Just one more data point to consider since it seems like quality of instruction is an important criterion for your D.
I know of at least two other parents who are waiting for their kids to make a decision with no bad choices. I think they are more stressed than their children.
Thanks @rayrick she does want really engaged class interaction.
“She likes many things about each of these three, she dislikes things about them too.”
Would making a list help? Or has she already done that?
She might want to spend some time at ratemyprofessors dot com, targeting professors in her prospective major interests for each of the three final schools. Take it with the proverbial boulder of salt and read critically; you’ll find ax grinders there as you will anywhere else. However, it might give her a sense of how available specific professors are, their teaching style, etc.
Since you said that she needs to man up, I’ll add man up around the drinking issue. College kids are going to drink. When people say there is “partying” three days a week, your dd might have a skewed idea of what partying is because she’s not a drinker. My ds2 and his roommate, both 21, generally have a nice scotch Thursday nights in their room. Is that “partying”? I don’t think so, but I suppose some might call it that because it does involve alcohol.
I would hate to see her rule out a school for having kids who drink when they all do. Do any of these places have sub-free dorms/floors? Ds1 lived on a sub-free floor his freshman year, not because we didn’t expect him not to drink but so he could avoid to a larger extent the barfing floormates, etc.
ETA: I remember the post you made on ds1’s forum about the tradition of hooking up your roommate. I personally think there’s a little too much worrying/assuming the worst about things that are totally age-appropriate for college kids.
@Youdon’tsay , totally right about the drinking. She has no experience. As I said on another thread, I actually think it might do her good to sport a red Solo cup every now and again:-) And barfing roommates, too funny. She knows there will be drinking at all colleges, she doesn’t know what the means though, if you get my drift. Perhaps I should take her to a frat party at the local U. Kidding of course.
Hey, @wisteria100, I think you meant @lexluthor5. Maybe this mention of him, will let him know that his experience with his D might be helpful to @Lindagaf!
Linda, I like the way you don’t take offense when none is intended. :x
I just don’t want her to be so black-and-white in her thinking (like my ds2, but he’s growing out of it) that she makes herself miserable with incredibly high standards around the behavior of others. I’m sure that at any of these schools she’s not going to be forced to drink and that she’ll find her people who don’t. Or, she might decide she sometimes wants a drink or two herself.
Hi Lindagaf
no bad choices here. we visited Kenyon only, child was waitlisted and ultimately went for a major they don’t offer anyway. BUT Kenyon was really very nice. The professors there are very high quality (also at Rochester, and probably Dickinson but I don’t know Dickinson). The thing about Gambier is that professors working there really stay involved in the town because they are a little isolated from outside, but they like it. that is the impression I got from several that I spoke to.
As for superficial impressions of partying, I work at a larger university that is often mentioned here on CC for its serious health careers students and hard to get merit scholarships, but yeah on Thursday mornings I am regularly dodging multiple beer trucks making very large deliveries of kegs for the beginning of the weekend partying (Thursday, Friday, Saturday). There are partiers everywhere, including U of R, but what else are the students doing? at Rochester they are seriously nerding out. At Kenyon they seemed to be engaging a lot with the outside world, through internships, study, web, etc. a different kind of nerding out. no bad choices among the three though…congratulations to her on these great acceptances.
I have a couple of relevant thoughts as I send my youngest of three off to college this year. First, he is heading to Kenyon and is not a drinker; I’m pretty sure he won’t be the only one. Small class sizes, engaged and interesting students and professors, the community felt good to him. But, he isn’t sure, and wonders is it really possible to be completely sure? He learned from his older brothers some important lessons, including that every school has a lot to offer, some good, some bad, hopefully more good than bad. He understands how privileged he is to have this opportunity, and also that if his school isn’t a good fit for him, he will still have choices. He watched his oldest brother settle on a major that was not offered at his first school, so although he had enjoyed his time there, he transferred and had an even better experience. There are really no bad options here.
I can only speak to Dickinson as I’m not familiar with the other schools. I can tell you it’s a close knit community in which students and professors interact regularly. Emphasis on study abroad and sustainability (always named one of the top “green” schools) make it somewhat unique. Professors and administrators come and stay for decades. I can honestly say that their career placement services are the reason both my husband and I got the jobs we loved, in our fields, after college. It’s a wonderful place, as I’m sure your other choices are as well. It’s nice to have a problem of too many good choices!
Can’t compare Kenyon as I don’t know anyone (personally) who has gone there. I know students who have gone to Dickinson and URoc though. Both have been happy with their choices. Those who choose Dickinson tend to like the small town atmosphere, be more green or outdoor loving, and want all small class sizes. Those who choose Rochester tend to like the more in depth academic atmosphere coupled with fun extra curriculars (nerds who actively enjoy dance or music or similar).
Either group can opt for drinking/partying or not. Neither is a cut-throat environment.
Best wishes with her decision making!
Also, a quick thing to add. My DS will be attending Grinnell, where they have a Self Governance policy, so they do not monitor student behavior with a lot of rules. The students are responsible to the community in their dorm, and they focus more on overall wellness. My S knows there is drinking on campus, esp on weekends and sometimes on Wednesday nights, to an extent. but he’s spent 2 evenings there, and felt the overall attitude is that it is NO big deal to be a non-drinker. My S does not drink or do anything else, but still likes to have fun, and you don’t have to drink alcohol for that!
My D asked me to thank everyone for all their helpful input. I do think your comments on drinking are helping her see that issue a little more realistically.
I’m curious … if there were a third day of drinking I’d think it was a Thursday, but I’ve now read two three references to Hump Day Drinking. What’s up with that? Ds2 made his schedule where he doesn’t have classes Fridays so Thursdays are a natural (though he does work Fridays so there’s no raging going on). Why is Wednesday a bigger drinking day?