Depressed and confused..

College Life
1

<p>Hi, I’m sorry this may be long but I want to give you some background info. </p>

<p>I have been on and off depressed ever since I can remember. It got much worse and became much more frequent when I left for college. So far I have finished two years at an upstate New York school. I have always had some social issues. I come off as very hyper and outgoing to people but really it is a way to cover up being uncomfortable in a lot of situations. Don’t get me wrong I have made some great friends during my two years in school and I have been happy plenty off and on, and when I am happy, I generally am a very outgoing and peppy person… but at the same time my mood can fall very suddenly and I hide away. </p>

<p>This past year I got caught up in drinking and partying way too much (average 5 days a week) and was very taken advantage of to the point where I would say I was at least verbally abused badly. Also in the last two years some of my friends have done some really terrible things to me. Now that I look back, I think why did I let those things happen, but my depression just wouldn’t allow me to react normal to the problems. I am very extra sensitive to rejection and people around me. Really I’m just kind of lost right now. So my depression hit rock bottom this summer and I went into isolation mode. I told all my friends I had mono so I could avoid seeing people, for a month all I did was sleep and then finally I started seeing a therapist. I saw two psychiatrists. The first one was terrible, but the second one put me on meds. I now have been taking meds for about 3 weeks and I guess I was relying on them too much to be able to handle this following school year. Right now I am not sleeping all the time and I have began running again and texting some but I still haven’t put myself in many social situations.</p>

<p>Sorry, I hope most of this is making sense. I can’t really think things through too well at the moment. </p>

<p>The reason I am writing this is because I am in an accelerated program that becomes very intensive this year. My first couple days of school I have 3 tests on information I was suppose to have studied this summer. I can’t seem to remember anything and it is so frustrating. Basically I really can’t decide whether to take time off to heal myself and be happy, or to go back and work on being happy while also being in school. I have always been a workaholic and pack my schedule so I have no time to think, and part of me just really wants to get through this year. The thing with my program is that I can’t just take one semester off; I would have to take an entire year off which I really don’t want to do. At the same time though, I’m not mentally prepared for this stressful year. Another part of me thinks transferring may be a good idea, but that would add quite a few years onto my schooling. </p>

<p>So I’m wondering what you guys think, and what you would do in this type of situation? I hope this was mostly clear…</p>

2

<p>This is one of those “it’s up to you” answers which isn’t what you’re looking for. My suggestion would be to get work done but not stress so much about it. Take with the attitude of whatever happens will happen and if you fail then oh well. Your other options put you behind anyways, so you have nothing to lose by failing a class or two.</p>

<p>Perhaps get a buddy system going on so someone can give some moral support.</p>

3

<p>Yeah I know what you’re saying, and I have some good friends in the program. I guess right now my depression is just making me not want to do anything, I probably should just push through it. But I also hate my school sometimes, and the weather in upstate ny. All my friends at home said my happiness seemed to slowly disappear after I went to school and I really want that back. Really, I doubt I’d do better anywhere else though. Even though I have issues with depression and adhd, my program is very competitive so I have a 3.9 Cum GPA only because I am so competitive. I guess what I should be asking is it smart to suffer for two more years and deal with my mental problems once I graduate or solve them now and than go back to school…</p>

4

<p>I’d go with the former…suffer then solve. I think even otherwise healthy people get depressed in really hard degree programs. Nature of the beast. You never know…the problem might just go away on its own when you graduate.</p>

5

<p>If you can do your work and eventually graduate, I think you should. It can be hard to start school back up again and you’re doing really well.</p>

<p>That being said, if you really, truly feel like you can’t handle it or your grades start dropping dramatically, then I might take some sort of break. Your well-being is the most important thing and it’s okay to take time off to focus on yourself.</p>