Depressed in high school

Parents Forum
1

<p>Hi, I'm posting this to the parents' forum because I think guidance from elders would be more helpful than that from my fellow peers right now.</p>

<p>I'm literally depressed, and I don't want to tell my parents because they won't know what to do. They won't take me to the doctor and they won't believe I have a mental illness. </p>

<p>It's affecting everything - especially my personal relationships and school. I'm currently failing two courses, and am barely passing (by my standards) my other subjects. Something is obviously the matter with me and no one is noticing, not enough to act anyways. I can't concentrate on my schoolwork; I just can't focus on anything right now but my empty sadness. I don't know why I'm feeling this way.</p>

<p>If I could do anything, it would be just to take a vacation away from it all. But, I can't. I have AP classes and exams to prepare for, I can't miss more days of school (we're only 4 weeks in and I've already missed 3 due to illness, I've had 6 tardies, and 1 in-school Saturday detention because of it). I need to take care of myself but everything around me is holding me back from doing so. I just want to be rescued.</p>

2

<p>How about your guidance counselor, or another counselor at your school who deals with this type of problem.</p>

<p>I think you should try your parents again, they need to be educated. If it doesn't work, let someone from the school get in touch with them.</p>

<p>Your problem might easily be manage with proper medication. Don't give up till you get the help you need.</p>

3

<p>SD ~</p>

<p>I am a parent of a 17-year-old son, and I want to help you.</p>

<p>Ideally, you should tell your parents about the way you have been feeling. Why do you feel that they will not take your concerns seriously and seek a doctor's help for you? I believe that if you speak with them earnestly, from the heart, they will understand, because they love you. If you feel uncomfortable speaking with both parents at the same time, then try to schedule some time with the one you are best able to converse with to begin the discussion. If you feel uncomfortable speaking on home turf, then perhaps plan a quiet outing at a coffee shop or the like where voices and words exchanged tend to be more thoughtful and modulated.</p>

<p>Another suggestion might be to speak with another trusted individual, such as a grandparent, aunt/uncle, teacher, or clergyman (perhaps a leader of a youth group). If you're involved in sports, even a trusted coach could provide some assistance in the steps to take next. But, do speak with someone, and soon.</p>

<p>The symptoms you have described are certainly consistent with depression, but it would take a medical professional to confirm any diagnosis. In the meantime, it is my opinion that you should share your feelings and concerns with someone who can discuss your situation with your school, so that an effort could be made to offload some of your work stress, until you are better able to juggle it. Don't worry about the past, concern yourself instead with taking the first steps to get yourself the help you deserve. Everything else will fall in line; believe me.</p>

<p>SD, please know that depression is very common and not anything to hide or be ashamed of. I have suffered from it, and received therapy, as have my husband and son. This is a very busy and stressful world, and as a teen undergoing so many changes and planning an unseen future, you are dealing with many things.</p>

<p>Also, it would be helpful to share with your trusted one any issues or disabilities that may be contributing to your feelings. Your decision to seek help is a very strong indicator that you are trying to deal with these problems in a very mature, adult-like manner...and you should be very proud of yourself for this! A word of advice: once you get beyond this, and with help you definitely will, remember that as you move through life to always seek help at the earliest sign of trouble. When you get to college, make sure to stay in touch with your own feelings and your own academic progress...and seek help right away...no need to suffer in silence and alone. There are too many good and caring people out there who are just waiting to help someone just like you!</p>

<p>If you cannot bring yourself to talk about your depression with a trusted person, then at the very least, initially speak with someone at a local mental health hotline. However, I feel very strongly that you should confide in mom and dad, another relative, a teacher or coach, a clergyman. They have much experience and wisdom that can help you.</p>

<p>Please let us know what you have decided to do, SD. We on this board care about you and your well-being. If you ever need to PM us, don't hesitate! Best, OB</p>

4

<p>My suggestion--based on what you have said--would be to walk into the guidance counselors office in the morning and say, I need help. </p>

<p>All the best to you.</p>

5

<p>Can you tell your parents that you are sick, perhaps with a sinus infection type illness, and have them take you to the Doctor's office? Then you could talk with the Doctor directly; usually the doc will meet with a 17 year old without the parents present?</p>

6

<p>Phone help.......do you have a teen hotline number to call day/nite??? You need support until you can get the rest of your plan together. Medication can take weeks to reach therapeutic level......get a number. </p>

<p><a href="http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.suicidepreventionlifeline.org/&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

7

<p>The idea of talking to your counselor is a good one. But of course, your parents may have a lot more compassion and understanding than you think. It is possible that your depression is coloring your thinking and making you wrongly assume you won't get help from your parents. Maybe give them a chance to take care of you, then proceed to other options if necessary.</p>

<p>If there is a mental health clinic in your area, you could call them. Sometimes University Hospitals have these sorts of clinics. There is also probably a County Public Health office in your community that can give you referrals.</p>

<p>Your health is far more important than school right now. If you need to take some time off from school that is always an option.</p>

8

<p><a href="http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/depression.cfm%5B/url%5D"&gt;http://www.nimh.nih.gov/publicat/depression.cfm&lt;/a&gt;&lt;/p>

9

<p>Have you considered that you might have Mono? You might actually be sick, and that could be causing you to feel depressed. Have a doc check.</p>

<p>Also - after you have made arrangements to talk to doc's and counselors, consider that this time of year for seniors is extraordinarily stressful. You are taking a big load, you are getting ready to apply to schools, you are developing your lists, you're facing money issues associated with college, you're facing the "if only I had....." feelings that come to all kids this time of year as they approach college app's....</p>

<p>It's terrifying!</p>

<p>It can make you feel like a deer in the headlights - frozen.</p>

<p>How to unstick? Talk to people. Doc's, school psychologist, counselors in and out of school, teachers. Sometimes the High School Senior teachers can be very helpful - they know how awful this exact time can be for kids.</p>

<p>As for school work - if you can schedule in an hour or two where you do not allow yourself to do any school work, it gives you a break from that feeling of everything having to get done right now. You are allowed to relax some first semester senior year, believe it or not.</p>

<p>Keep in mind, also, that there are wonderful colleges out there for kids of all scholastic abilities. If the college thing is part of the problem, you might find a couple good local safeties with rolling admissions and get those app's out - they might not even require an essay. It's amazing how comforting having at least one acceptance in hand can be around now.</p>

<p>And if it's not the senior shivers that have ya - it might be the sophomore soulsearches or the junior jitters. High schools can make you feel like you have to be an A student in all subjects with sports, music, volunteer work and a nobel prize by the time you're 17 in order to be successful. It just ain't the truth.</p>

<p>And given your screen name, you might check out the local AA program - look in the yellow pages - they will have lots of resources for you, some specifically for teens.</p>

<p>Good luck, and keep us posted!</p>

10

<p>Another option for a trustworthy adult -</p>

<p>Your school may have a school social worker, separate from the Guidance Office. Ours does. This is what she is there for. AND she can help in communicating with your parents.</p>

<p>The key things we are all saying: [ul][<em>]talk to someone NOW[</em>]we care[<em>]we want to help[</em>]we are proud of you for seeking help[*]we know that we can only help so much, in cyberspace, and we want to be sure you get the help you need and deserve IRL[/ul]Stay with us, keep us posted. We are here for you.</p>

11

<p>Also - talk with your doc about having your thyroid tested. My family has dealt with hypothyroidism now for a while - it was literally years of depression symptoms before we figured out it was a physical problem.</p>

<p>The doc is important - there are lots of illnesses that can make you depressed.</p>

12

<p>soberdrunk, one thing I would add to the good suggestions you have received from other parents is that you're not alone! Depression is a very common among high schoolers. You really should try the advice that's been given here. I am writing as the parent of a student who also suffered from depression in high school, and with help she learned to cope with it and has been doing well for several years now.</p>

<p>I would add that once your parents see your grades, they are very likely in fact to want to know the reason, and don't be surprised at all that they will want you to see a doctor. Don't wait for "people to notice." There are many people who will help you right now, just go ahead and reach to them.</p>

13

<p>depression is also: lack of motivation, ambivalence, lethargy, social isolation,<br>
blunted affect, not caring and not wanting to do it but
worrying about it not getting done. These are all symptoms.
Your feeling overwhelmed is a part of the illness. Reach out
and talk to someone, call someone. This can get better.
We all care about your problem and want to see you get
better.</p>