<p>I’m not thinking about suicide, but I feel like this pressure and my “depression” (breaking down all the time) is getting out of hand. I go to a very competitive school, and my parents don’t understand how hard you have to try to actually earn those As. It’s worse with my dad. All he cares about is the ranking of the university, and that’s what makes it better than others. I’ve told him many times that ranking doesn’t mean much at all, but he just doesn’t get it. </p>
<p>I should first mention that he’s 100% Indian, with the “Asian” mentality. He doesn’t know anything about American school, but he thinks he does. Almost every time I talk to him, he brings up a “project” that I need to do before I graduate. Two “projects” actually. My required science fair project (that my school doesn’t even tell us to do until 11th grade and I’m in 10th), and a project on my own that will get me into a top university. He doesn’t get that I also play tennis, debate, and have 5 AP subjects to deal with. Those projects are the last thing I want to thing about. Oh, he also mentioned the SAT. He said, “I talked to aunty’s daughter who went to Duke. She said she practiced SAT problems all the time, which is how she did so well. I think that’s what you should be doing. Is there a way to get those practice problems?” Me - “SAT prep books” Him - “You should get that” Me - “I already have one” Him - “Are you using it?” Me - “I’m a sophomore. I’m taking the test in a year. I’m studying for physics right now.” (This is a typical conversation with my dad).</p>
<p>It’s this kind of thing that makes me so distant from him. We’re not close at all. 1. Because he’s always on call (he’s a doctor), and 2. Because of unavoidable conversations like these.</p>
<p>Maybe this is just me venting. It is actually. I’m just so sick of this pressure.</p>