<p>i wish i had a maid</p>
<p>theyâre cheap in my country</p>
<p>theyâre pretty cheap in my country too</p>
<p>You like?!!?!</p>
<p>Well Iâm just Canadian and all my life my parentâs were cool about my grades and what I did as long as I maintained an 80 average. But recently this summer my mother wont stop nagging me to take senior year seriously, I need a 90 average minimum, blah blah blah. Itâs really annoying. I know sheâs just trying to get me ready but she makes it seem like I donât care about my future. I keep telling her that Iâm going to work hard and everything but she doesnât believe me. I think that is what irritates me the most. </p>
<p>Also my father doesnât really think Iâll get into McGill. He thinks the only thing I care about is prom, parties and shopping. He also thinks Iâll end up going to my local university(it sucks). Itâs really depressing to realize that your own parents donât believe in you. </p>
<p>Theyâre trying hard to put me in my place, and that is why I gotta keep running- Oasis <3
But Iâm not suicidal. I donât believe in that sort of thing. Cause Iâm gonna live forever.</p>
<p>yeah donât put yourself up on a pedastal
the âemotional scarringâ that this thread is talking about is evident in all races and cultures
there has always been parents who push hard and negatively affect their kids
look up pete maravich and see what his father did
also, if you go out west, youâll find a bunch of hicks(family, as i call them) that pressure their kids just as much, be it with academics, athletics, the arts</p>
<p>what youâre feeling is resentment towards your parents, which everybody feels at one point</p>
<p>suck it up, get over it, itâs part of growing up</p>
<p>Iâm just thankful i donât have parents that push me to become something iâm not which makes choosing a major when the time comes much easier. Iâve made it clear i will never do medicine and theyâre fine with that. Theyâve never given me this notion that i have to become a doctor, engineer, lawyer. Heck i was on my way to becoming a pro athlete before which is as un traditional as you can get. Especially my dad who knows first hand what itâs like to be forced to study something you have no interest in. He was forced to study engineering when he had no interest in sciences whatsoever and wanted to study languages and humanity subjects. Itâs a subject that still irks him to this day because he was deprived of his dream to go to the US to study what he loved because his parents wouldnât let him and my grandparents and he still âargueâ about it to this dayâŠhah. </p>
<p>Most of my asian friendâs parents are the opposite. Theyâre basically all planning to do medicine with most of them being forced to become a doctor and not because they actually really want to. Once my friend said âi wish i can study the fun subjects that i want to study but i canâtâ.</p>
<p>âA Family Suicide Risk in U.S. Asians?â, a strong article from the August 19, 2008 issue of Time Magazine, contains the following excerpts:</p>
<p>"For many Asian Americans, the family is a pivotal force. It may provide their main source of strength and support, but when things go wrong, it may also be their greatest torment.</p>
<p>Psychologists at the University of California, Davis, say that conflict within the family appears to affect Asian Americans more adversely than other negative factors, such as depression or povertyÂto the point of increasing their risk of suicide.</p>
<p>Among students the problem may have to do with family expectations. ÂAlthough we donÂt have good statistics yet, we believe that many Asian American students are prone to feeling depressed over a lack of achievement, Sue says. [ThatÂs Stanley Sue, UCD professor of psychology and Asian American studies.] Getting Bs instead of As on a report card may not seem like a great sin to most students, Sue says. But in a culture and family structure where sacrifice by an older generation for the advancementÂand educationÂof its children is a deep-seated tenet, feelings of shame for Âfailing can become unbearable, Sue says, noting that this pattern is most evident in families with immigrant parents and among foreign students sent to study at universities by their families."</p>
<p>Hereâs the link: [A</a> Family Suicide Risk in US Asians? - TIME](<a href=âhttp://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1833971,00.html]Aâ>http://www.time.com/time/health/article/0,8599,1833971,00.html)</p>
<p>At the end of the story, Dr. Sue adds, âOur study suggests that we need to more precisely determine the kinds of family conflicts that are associated with suicide risk among Asian Americans, and finds means of preventing these family problems.â</p>
<p>@68, that girl in the picture is kinda pretty</p>
<p>I agree with MrWheezy, itâs really rigorous in korea.
As i am not a Korean-American, but just a Korean living in korea trying to get into an American college, the pressure has been getting to me. Itâs pretty awful. My parents threaten they wonât send me abroad if i donât go to one of the Ivy League schools. I, for one, canât WAIT to get out of here and leave all this behind.</p>
<p>My parents donât pressure me at all. Iâm self-motivated. </p>
<p>lol nubs.</p>
<p>The article is pretty dead on about the dynamics of asian families (in general, I mean)
My parents are very, very asian, but itâs sort of like they are bipolar because sometimes they want to be the friendly americanized family and then the next thing you know, they yell at me for not doing hw immediately after school, and why donât you start your essay earlier, and look you didnât finish your chores, blah blah blah.
Also, if I get cranky, my Dad asks my mom what the h__ is wrong with me. They donât understand that I am a teenager with mood swings and occasional bouts of mild depression.</p>
<p>My parents are also very asian, and I think the show King of the Hill really understands the dynamics/thinking of asian families. To all fellow asians out there, watch a few episodes of KOTH lol.</p>
<p>Regarding #43 from fizix2, a CCâer from Pasadena says that a third Cal Tech student has died. I found a news story that says that a graduate student named Long Phan was found dead in his apartment about a week ago and that the death is being investigated. </p>
<p>In light of two previous suicides at Cal Tech this yearâone involving a male student from Hong Kong, the other involving a biracial Asian-American studentâthe president at Cal Tech is now recommending a task force on mental health.</p>
<p>Most Asians donât want it for themselves badly enough; itâs their parents who do the wanting, them ending up doing the work (resulting in stress they canât deal with).</p>
<p>For example, I classify the top students at my school by âwho does the wanting.â Those who are not within the top 10, or heck, maybe even top 30, are those whose parents do the wanting for good grades for them. These kids tend to be the ones who do badly and are pressured by their parents. However, of course, there are those who that succeed, yet are still the result of their parentsâ pressure. A half-Taiwanese friend of mine who recently got into his dream college (Olin. yes, not Ivy) puts it this way: there are the loser Asians who spend all their time studying to satisfy their parents and meet varying degress of success depending on the person, the non-loser Asians who manage to get that done and maintain a life, and the failure Asians who attempt to study or donât attempt, whichever, and **** off their parents. In a ranked top 100 school with an Asian population of 30%, I agree with him. The kids of the top 10 do well in school and maintain whatever extra-curriculars they like. They are driven by themselves, though occasionally have pressures from parents. Those of us in the top 10 though, rarely receive as much pressure as those who are within the top 30 or larger percentiles. We get our work done and then do (have a life, so to speak) whatever else we like after that. </p>
<p>I assume this is what sets us apart from those who end up suicidal.</p>
<p>i wish my mom would just shut up. she says sheâs doin all the work for me, when in fact she got herself into the mess first place. </p>
<p>hell, when she said nothin about anything, i was doing fine: clubs were going great, grades were satisfactory.</p>
<p>more she meddled into my affairs, less successful i became. realized what was different from middle school to high school. </p>
<p>goddamn, i very highly regret having my mom meddle into my affairs. ruined my tennis, ruined my saxophone, eventually led to ruin of grades. </p>
<p>i can never thank her at graduation.</p>
<p>anyways, how can i make my mom shut up? she is dismayingly stubborn. Every single bit of fire of hope and attempt at redemption has been chemical-fire-extinguished by her hovering, and i really donât give a crap anymore about what she says. and now she goes on about what clubs i should do and stuff? </p>
<p>COME ON NOW. IT"S NOT LIKE SHE DOES CLUBS OR ANYTHING. </p>
<p>put me in a private or public school with freinds, i would love to succeed. but she stills goes on, and now, i just had it. (no, this is not harmful to my very own living health, but itâs poison to my high school life.)</p>
<p>just how do i end the hovering?</p>
<p>To be honest, the only advice I can give is to talk to her. You need to explain your situation and how her involvement is not attributing to your success but rather your failure. If your mom wants you to do well, she should do what she can to help you, which in this case would be to allow you to make your own decisions. This seems to have worked with me. My mom just tells me not to get Cs and thatâs it lol. It seems to have worked well as I am the only one putting pressure on myself, which seems to suffice in my situation. Regardless, I hope everything works out for you!:></p>
<p>^
Mental breakdown? Go see a shrink. Get advice/support from friends and teachers.</p>
<p>haha a shrink. no, im not having a mental breakdown. itâs more of a psychological annoyance or academic-performance counter productivity.</p>
<p>ok. i cooled down. </p>
<p>all good now.</p>