<p>Why does the job require that you have never seen a mental health doctor? Also, how would the employer be able to find that information out? I’ve always been under the assumption that ANY medical information is confidential, and that it is illegal for anyone to attempt to obtain someone else’s information from a physician. If there is a parent on the board that is a lawyer, maybe they can confirm this.</p>
<p>bluealien, The govt can do things that would be illegal for anyone else. But in this case, the OP would be voluntarily submitting the information in order to be considered for the job.</p>
<p>Military. They ask and if you lie and they find out, you will be dishonorably discharged. To enlist, you cannot have been under treatment by a counselor, psychologist, or psychiatrist for a period over a year or have been diagnosed with a disorder that was not temporary (due to grief from the death of a loved one etc). You have to get a waiver. To be commissioned as an officer you have to get a waiver (very hard to get) if you have ever been to counseling. High security jobs require the same.</p>
<p>With all of the problems the military is having with suicides and PTSD, I understand the precautions. I don’t want someone who isn’t mentally fit to serve any more than any one else would.</p>
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<p>As stated above, I thought exactly the same thing. I was wrong. Clinical depression, which is what you’re describing, is caused by chemical imbalances in the brain. There is no possible way for you to will that away.</p>
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<p>I know what you mean – some people’s baseline emotional level is lower than others. I’m one of those too. But feeling hopeless, losing interest, isolation, suicidal ideation – I have learned that those are big red flags for me, and I need assistance with them. Treatment will not turn you into a zombie or at the other extreme, a perky/bubbly/happyhappyjoyjoy person. What it will do is return you to yourself.</p>
<p>I was serious when I said I want you to get some good hard exercise tomorrow. Excercise releases endorphins, which are in short supply for you at the moment. Do it. (Yes, I know you don’t want to, don’t think it will help. That’s another sign of clinical depression. Do it anyway.)</p>
<p>A post was deleted. I just wanted to say to the person that wrote it that you are probably right. I think you deleted it because you did not want to seem cruel. You did not seem that way. That is reality. That is the truth.</p>
<p>There are some wonderful suggestions in the previous posts. For the short term, cut yourself a break and lighten your current course load as was suggested. Based upon your reported GPA, you are in strong academic standing. Therefore, you could go so far as to take a leave of absence, if needed (just something to think about should you ever feel it applies). Leaves can be taken after a semester has commenced (i.e. you don’t need to wait until the semester has concluded). None of these actions will adversely affect your standing (academically, or professionally). Although it is understandable to resist seeking assistance, I think you know that it makes sense to run this by a professional at the campus’ counseling center. This is not considered being in therapy. This is exactly why they have such staff (and your student fees are paying for the service, so at least check out what they have). Many campus’ have increased resource allocations to these areas given the exponential increase in the demand for their services (yes, with depression being the number one concern amongst your peers). Talking with someone will be most beneficial if you are frank with them. You are obviously very, very bright and articulate; tell them how you are feeling, and have been feeling. You owe it to yourself to research your options, don’t you think…?</p>
<p>One of my friends (age 55) picked up the phone and spoke to me at length about a challenge in her life. It occurred to me that there is a difference in how age groups tackle a problem. Older folks know when a problem is small, medium or OMG huge. We don’t try to deal with the last on our own. </p>
<p>Folks in their 20’s? When we are there, we want to show our maturity and independence. Like asking for help when it’s OMG HUGE is some sign of weakness or neediness. It doesn’t sound like you’re facing an ugly hangnail or a bad date. You have big stuff going on in your life. Trying to put out a campfire with a water pistol is entertaining. Trying to put out a building engorged with flame with a big spit wad is stupid. You have to decide how big the current fire is – and be professional about lining up enough to deal with it. </p>
<p>Dieters fail because they tend to set too large (ooh, bad pun) a goal – like 40 pounds in a month. Dog trainers know that the way to impressive performance is to break tasks down in to tiny components and then have immediate small rewards or immediate small corrections or consequences. You can psyche yourself with some of this sort of thinking – as in “if I got to math class, I can have a candy bar” or “if I skip math class I have to ask Ms. Bore how her day is and I have to listen to her entire answer.” – if you go this route, remember, the task must be small (attend class, not be perfect in class) and the reward must be immediate.</p>
<p>Consider reading The Art of War. Many helpful ways of thinking in it. One part is about choosing one’s terrain for battle. If this campus/courseload is not winning the war for you, then you may need a different terrain. There are other colleges (many with excellent ROTC programs). </p>
<p>I think you are missing something by being at a place that lacks ROTC. Many ROTC programs have the student take basic training during the sophomore or junior summer. Then OCS between junior and senior year. One graduates and is really an officer already. Also, ROTC puts you with like minded people (also an advantage – what if you don’t actually like it? Better to find out in ROTC than after you have a contract). </p>
<p>Lots to ponder. No doors are closed.
Good luck!</p>
<p>From what you said about sleeping 18 hours a day it sounds like you’re medically. depressed. I recommend going to the doctor and getting your hands on some Prozac.</p>
<p>Depression is treatable. I know many people who suffer from depression but are able to control it pretty well with some pills. Nobody I know who is suffering from depression (and I know quite a few people) have found their medication ineffective. </p>
<p>I’m really mad that mental illness has such a negative stigma in our society. It nobody’s fault that their body’s biochemistry is screwing with them. One in four people develop some form of mental illness in their lifetime, and obviously they’re not all creepy psychopaths.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry you’re going through this. Pleas realize that help is available.</p>
<p>Thank you for the responses. I’m seriously considering going to mental health services, but I always chicken out in the end.</p>
<p>If you are hesitant to go to the health center would you be willing to try a 12 step meeting?. You say you are drinking too much. I know quite a few people who have found peace and a reason for living by following a 12 step program such as AA.</p>
<p>Four things.</p>
<p>I did have a child tell me she was suffering from depression. I was glad that she did. There are a whole lot worse things young people can do to try to feel better. It took a while. She is better now and we all learned that there are many paths.</p>
<p>You don’t have to believe antidepressants will work for them to work. And in something like 80% of people, the first antidepressant tried works. Your doc might have to tweak the dosage or try a different one but for most people they work. </p>
<p>It’s hard for you to go to the health center or get counseling because the inability to do so is a symptom of depression. It’s like telling someone with a broken leg, “There’s a hospital just a mile from here–all you have to do is walk there and it will be taken care of.” </p>
<p>Your thinking that getting treatment for depression will make it impossible to have the only job that will make you happy is also a symptom of depression. When you are not depressed you will be able to see that. And be able to make a full happy life whether you have that job or not. </p>
<p>Let it all go right now. Let the future take care of itself. Go to your RA or your roommate and tell him or her that you feel bad, you want to go to the health center and you need someone to walk you over and make sure you see someone. Let someone else help you take the first step.</p>
<p>I feel the same way but I’m still in high school. I’m very afraid of antidepressants and ADD type drugs, so for now I’m trying to figure it out myself. I’ve got some advice, but I’m younger than you and still being sheltered so I don’t know what applies. </p>
<p>Find a close friend. It isn’t easy, and some people will fool you, but there is someone out there who will listen to you, tell you how they’re feeling, and help you. Genuinely kind and thoughtful people exist.</p>
<p>Stay busy. There’s good and bad stress, and you might need some good stress to stay connected. Keep moving through things you enjoy. If you don’t know what you have a passion for, try new things just to see if you hate them or not. Join ultimate frisbee. Host a radio show. Start a movie club and watch Tarantino films. </p>
<p>The last advice is probably the worst, but since you seem to have a similar attitude to me, check this out. I took a lame personality quiz in psych and the description was so dead on that it freaked me out. Reading it probably won’t change you but it kinda helped me step back a little. I didn’t understand the symbol stuff but the different mental health levels were very interesting.</p>
<p>[4</a> - Enneagram Type Four: The Individualist](<a href=“404 Page - The Enneagram Institute”>404 Page - The Enneagram Institute)</p>
<p>Wellspring’s words are jewels. Read them again and again, until you take that first step.</p>
<p>You’ve had the same advice advice from the all very smart, knowledgeable, caring parents who frequent this board. To put it bluntly–you’re just a kid, they know better, listen to them, do what they tell you to do. Then come back and tell us of your journey. We’re rooting for you every step of the way.</p>
<p>OP: I’m really glad to hear that you’re considering a visit to health services. I also understand the chickening out part. As Wellspring said, depression makes it hard to do the very things you need to do. So just put one foot in front of the other and make yourself do it. I promise, you’ll be very glad you did.</p>
<p>ETA – MommaJ is right, we’re all pulling for you.</p>
<p>Again, the visit to the health clinic can be “medical” not “mental.” Ask for a complete workup because you are floundering in school work. Find out, for sure, if there’s anything going wacko with your physical systems. Even if the blood tests/etc come out 100% fine, at least you have 1) become familiar with the health center 2) taken a step to address your challenges. </p>
<p>I was listening to a radio program this afternoon about ADD. The speaker said that one type of ADD is called “inattentive ADD” and often presents as depression. These, she said, are not the kids that bounce all over the place. They are people who cannot stay on task. </p>
<p>This is from wikipedia:</p>
<p>ADHD-PI is different from the other subtypes of ADHD in that it is characterized primarily by inattention, easy distractibility, disorganization, procrastination, forgetfulness, and lethargy (fatigue), but with less or none of the symptoms of hyperactivity or impulsiveness typical of the other ADHD subtypes.
Children with ADHD-PI are usually not diagnosed nearly as early as children with other ADHD subtypes, possibly because their lack of hyperactivity symptoms may make their condition less obvious to observers.[1] These children are at greater risk of academic failures and early withdrawal from school.[2] Teachers and parents may make incorrect assumptions about the behaviors and attitudes of a child with undiagnosed ADHD-PI, and may provide them with frequent and erroneous negative feedback (e.g. “you’re irresponsible”, “you’re lazy”, “you don’t care/show any effort”, “you just aren’t trying”, </p>
<p>[ADHD</a> predominantly inattentive - Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia](<a href=“http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/ADHD_predominantly_inattentive]ADHD”>Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder predominantly inattentive - Wikipedia)</p>
<p>Again, there are lots of things that present with fatigue and inability to concentrate. You need some help from a caring MD to sort out just what bingos. </p>
<p>We’re all rooting for you. One of my kiddos had a miserable term. He was sleeping constantly. He felt so bad – and tired – and, knowing him, probably embarassed. Fortunately a friend heard him snoring and asked “man, do you have sleep apnea?” Wow. I am SO grateful for that insightful buddy. A diagnosis and a CPAP machine later and life is much better. My heart squeezed with pain when he said “I thought I was just making poor choices.” Man, to be thinking that when there was something organically wrong is so sad. </p>
<p>Please ferret out what’s up.</p>
<p>I have a close friend who gets very depressed in the winter and it’s not a rare condition. She uses a special light that simulates sunlight and has been told by her doctor to take omega fatty acids (fish oil) daily and vitamin D. After years of suffering she is doing much better. I’m sorry that I don’t know the name of the condition but I remember it’s related to a little area of the brain stem. It would be nice if your problems were something so simple. I would see a doctor and approach it as a physical problem so that you never had to lie when questioned because perhaps it is.</p>
<p>Seasonal Affective Disorder?</p>
<p>Again thanks for all of the support. I’m going to give it some time and see what happens. Thanks.</p>
<p>What kind of a job doesn’t allow you to have EVER gone to counseling?
People have their problems, and any form of counseling is an excellent and responsible way to work out those problems to become a better and stronger human being. I’m sorry, but I can’t understand how that would negate your chances at whatever job it is you are pursuing - sure isn’t a job I would want to consider.</p>
<p>I do notice a large amount of contradictions in what wrote:
You worry about disappointing everyone, but you also don’t want much to do with them?
You worry about getting a subpar GPA and achieving this dream job, but you also want to be able to screw up your life as you see fit?
You say you think you’d make a great officer in the military, but then you also say you can’t get your mind to work right and you’d rather be alone most of the time?</p>
<p>I can’t really understand these things…</p>
<p>I know from experience that depression seems to breed contradicting thoughts; or the other way around. You have to take time for yourself to understand what the real issues are, because you sound somewhat confused to me.
I don’t mean to bash you, your goals or your thoughts, but these statements don’t mesh well. </p>
<p>I’m also not in the right position to tell you to do anything to make you feel better. All I can say is that I have a similar pessimistic brain like yours. I’ve always had a problem making friends. After I made them, I have a problem keeping them. After I’ve kept them for a bit, I have a problem confiding in them… and that’s where it usually ends. I like to go out, but once I’m there, I tend to want to go back home. I also love to over analyze situations and look at the worse view in any dilemma. I feel ya…</p>
<p>I dont believe that the ONLY way you can feel better is to get professional help. I feel people believe they lack the know-how to fix themselves because its been so engraved in this society that you can’t do it without lots of outside help and drugs. You deserve to make more time to heal yourself that you obviously are not doing; instead your allowing school and expectations to overule your own health. That’s ridiculous… I hope you discover this sometime.</p>
<p>In his freshman year, my son had a devastatingly horrible time. He ended up sleeping 18 hours a day too. When I found that out, I knew he was depressed. We tried everything to help, but we were too far away and I got caught up in my own day-to-day to know what was happening with oiur son. Well, he nearly killed himself. It was terrible. He left that school and eventually ended up at a small no-name LAC near us. There are times still when he gets depressed and I pick him up. Sometimes we just talk, other times I bring him home for a day. The change makes such a difference. I know he’ll have to figure out how to make it work, but for now, we are just always there for him. I hope you could have that type of intervention too. Sleeping too much is really unhealthy: you lose touch with people, you skip classes, you stop eating. All bad things. What helped my son the most was the reminder that we loved him. Someone loves you too.</p>
<p>Your health is the most important thing! Grades, school, jobs, friends - nothing matters if you are not healthy!</p>
<p>Please, please see a professional right away! Depression is nothing to fool around with you YOU CANNOT DO IT ALONE!</p>
<p>My daughter became depressed after her freshman year, and did not tell us because she was afraid of worrying us. But, at your young age it is scarey and intimidating to try to figure out who to see doctor wise, and what to do, so she did nothing and just got worse and worse and worse. She thought she could fix it all, and take care of it all herself. Had she told us sooner, we could have gotten her the professional help she needed sooner. You will be surprised at how understanding your parents can be.</p>
<p>She finally had a major breakdown and confided in me that she thought she was depressed. She was home at the time (summer), and we got in to see her medical primary care doctor right away, who recommended a psychiatrist who recommended a therapist. The therapist was the key to the whole thing. </p>
<p>Please, get some help right away. Go to the Medical Center at your school. Or, make an appointment with an Internist Doctor in the town/city where you are as a starting point. Doctors can make a referral to a proper Pyschiatrist and/or Counselor/Therapist that they know and have worked with, and can help you find professionals that you are comfortable with. </p>
<p>And, please consider calling and telling your parents so they can help you navigate the medical side of all of this. Can one of your parents fly out to your school for a few days or a week to help you get set up with some medical help soon? Family medical history can be a very important link in all of this.</p>
<p>I feel your pain. I saw what my daughter went through and it was very painful for her, and for us. She slowly, but surely, spirally downward, and if she had not confided in me and her dad and had we not gotten help when we did, I shudder to think what could have happened. She is now back in school and on track and we all have more realistic expectations and attitudes about what she can handle and do.</p>
<p>Please go see a Doctor, or your RA, or school guidance counselor right away and seek out help!</p>