<p>I haven't been diagnosed, but I have been feeling extremely apathetic and unmotivated in the last 6 months, and I'm now into junior year. My entire life I've been a very diligent student, with good work ethic and pretty good grades, but in this past period of time, all motivation I had going for me has just disappeared. I'm not sure if this has to do with my mom having bipolar disorder, she takes her anger out on my brother and I a lot when we make even the smallest mistake. I constantly hear her voice in my head, and I'm always anxious that she's watching me from someplace...this is becoming scary. I feel so trapped and numb and apathetic. Is this depression? Please help</p>
<p>I went through some very similar issues my junior year too! When I had previously been a diligent student, and all of a sudden lost happiness and motivation.
I think it is because that after 11+ years of working in the school system doing the same thing over and over again, and at the same time the escape seems just out of reach, our minds seem to think that school is the only thing to life. I knew I was so angry for that my junior year. It seems you are going through the same thing.
There are many factors that seem to be playing a part in your dilemma. Since it is longer than 6 months, it probably is depression. It may seem cliche for me to tell you to get professional help, but it would be a good way to tell someone bout it. About the depression, if it continues any longer, it may be signaling you that you need a change of environment, if that is possible to procure.
Hope this help, and just know you are not alone.</p>
<p>Hi Ractogon, thank you so much for your words. I think another reason why I feel so helpless and trapped is because my mom is very stubborn and won’t listen to anything I say, which kind of just confines me into a loop of feeling sadness. Not sure what to do anymore, I really can’t mess up this year, but I have my PSAT in 2 weeks and SAT in a month, and I don’t know when I will snap out of this.</p>
<p>Hi!
I feel the same way about stubborn moms! I tried to tell my mom how I was feeling about school, only to be thrust back and told that I was weak, rebellious, and that my mom would not listen to me. It was SOO frustrating! And yea, I got that sadness feedback loop, where no one in my family would take me seriously. (They always say ‘It’s just a phase.’)
It seems like a change in environment (sort of a vacation) would be the best solution, but in high school it is very hard to bring about. I wish there was some other solution than just, ‘try and survive the grind.’ But really, what else is there to do? That’s what gets me. I hate being confined in this ‘prison.’ (Yes, I just insulted school on CC!) The most that we can do in this environment is to just not stress out about it. Just know that the scores will not define your future, that you can make it regardless of your score placement. Perhaps finding a hobby that you can obsess yourself into would be good. That’s what I did. The obsession into my hobbies was probably dysfunctional, but it kept me from going insane. It could work for you too.
If you ever need someone to talk to, please PM me.</p>