Descriptive vs Straightforward Common App Essay

College Essays
1

So of the successful Common App essays I’ve seen, many have been very descriptive with tons of figurative or sensory language used and/or focused on a specific event or anecdote. However, mine does not really seem like those types of essays. I’m applying to a good amount of reach schools, including Ivies and similar schools, so essays are really important for me. Would somebody be willing to read and give feedback on my essay? I’m not looking for a complete edit, nor am I looking to come up with a new idea. I just want to know whether or not I should rewrite part of it to “show” rather than simply “tell.” Also, please be someone trustworthy who has a history of reading essays, since I don’t want someone to steal my idea.

Thanks in advance!

2

It’s December. I would see whether my English teacher possibly had time.

3

@bjkmom yeah that’s not an option

4

Then ask a past English teacher.

5

@bjkmom yeah that’s not an option either.

6

Best wishes.

7

Can someone actually give me helpful advice or read it?

8

I agree that you should find someone among your family , friends, or teachers to help. Network out and find someone.

As far as whether you should use descriptive language–pls scroll down to comment #3
http://talk.qa.collegeconfidential.com/college-essays/2036508-simple-get-to-the-point-language-vs-vivid-description-and-extensive-imagery.html

You don’t HAVE to do that, but it makes for memorable writing.

Maybe also look at what many consider the best college essay ever, and you can see how vivid the language is. The verbs carry the writing and the unique imagery. Google “Hugh gallagher” and “college essay”. The essay got him into NYU and he (I believe) became a writer.

Image after image. That’s what gets it done, in this essay.

9

I’ll take a look at it if you want just PM me.