@websensation The support piece is such important part of the equation. That was what I probably learned the most from CC is the lengths at which people will go to support their kids. I did misunderstand your post, but we are still on same page because we both love our kids and would have supported them regardless of any standardized test scores or college admissions results. At this point in my relationships with my kids, I only give advice when it is asked for. I have my wife to give unsolicited advice;)
@ChangeTheGame Agreed. I think you are a very supportive dad, doing a good job. In my family, I became the default advisor of the college admission matters because my kid tends to respect me more in “academic” matters even though my wife holds more sway.
@websensation I completely agree with your wife [-O<
I have been in a few discussions about nature vs nurture as it relates to kids. I feel my D19’s high school career has been a success. Sure some things could have been done differently or even better. But in the end she has done the work to get her to the next level. She will most likely be able to get through undergrad without loans.
I have thought about how we influenced D19 to do well. The reason is we are registering D23 next week for HS. They are different kids and will have a different path in HS. I wander will D23 turn out as well as D19. If she doesn’t it will be ok as long as she tried her best. D23 may end up doing better.
We will just try to get through the next 4 years and keep the kids on the right path.
Thank you for this post! My kids are first gen and I need all the tips I can get.
One final thought. We had a bris for my son and a naming ceremony for my daughter and at each one, gave our wishes for our kids. I observed that among my most successful friends (who have been world class successes), one consistent factor is what I would call intelligent persistence. Once they articulate a goal, they don’t stop until they complete it. However, if they hit an obstacle in the path, they don’t repeat the same, failed approach but find a way to go around, over or under the obstacle until they have succeeded. I wished for that behavior pattern/trait in my kids and my wife and I tried in our limited fashion to inculcate it in both. I think both have it, with an extra helping in our son.
@shawbridge That is an amazing trait to have. Persistence with an intellectual component to overcome barriers can teach a creativity with problem solving that can go a long way. I personally wish I had more intelligent persistence, but at least I am persistent. Hopefully my kids picked that up that trait because it is a good one.