My eldest wrote about living on a boat and wove in her illness into it without ever mentioning it and how it made it made her feel. The essay really drew you in and she had good acceptance results.
My son’s is probably more risky, not in subject matter as his is mundane, but in his play of words. He is either going to be a fit or not with this one. However, any teacher would know it was his essay.
My younger son did get a comment back from U of Chicago regarding his “Why Chicago?” essay where he was accepted EA. The first line was, “When my parents suggested I apply to U of Chicago I thought they were crazy.” It was a fun essay to write. In fact it was so fun, he used a variation of it for at least one other school where he was also accepted.
“I think CC gives some wonderful insight into many aspects of college admissions but with this particular topic it’s majnly anecdotal and speculation.”
Agree, the issue is that very few parents are going to admit their kid’s essay was good, most think it’s great, as evidenced in this thread. For every parent that says their kid’s essay is good or ok, there’s another 99 that say their kids essay was in fact great, and going on about how it was the key to the admission, not answering the OP’s concern. If the essay was ok (gasp!), it didn’t prevent admission to any college, in fact the ok essay showed a vulnerability that colleges covet.
S wrote a super common app essay. Got positive feedback from some AOs. The various supplements ranged from acceptable (well written but no pop!) to very good. I noticed a trend. The more self reflective the prompt, the better the essay (“Discuss hardship you’ve overcome and what did you learn”). The ones that were more specific about an X were pretty week (“Social media has changed society and how we communicate. How has it improved the world and what might it lead to with future technologies?”) I guess that’s there way of gauging the individual. Is s/he humble, creative, technical, curious, appreciative, etc?
Our S19 has been working on his essays since July. Two more to go. I really like his CA essay, which had been edited by his AP Lang teacher over the summer and went through multiple drafts. I recently showed it to a friend who doesn’t know him and that was very eye opening. It’s an interesting experiment to have someone read the essay who is a stranger to the student. While the teacher and I are coming from a place where we know the student well, a reader who has no background may get an impression of the student that wasn’t intended. This friend of mine had very positive things to say about his writing and the essay topic but her overall impression of him was X when that’s not exactly what he was going for. Hard to explain without giving any details but he’s going back to change just a few things so that his vulnerability is a little more clear. I think it’s hard for a parent to “see” the essays the way that an AO will see them.
I’m not saying everyone should spend so much time on these essays or go out of their way to show them to others. For S19, I do believe his essays will matter since he’s applying to mostly elite LACs regular decision. I think he will need his essays to stand out in addition to his good stats, etc.
@citymama9 I’m in the same boat. My son refuses to let me read his CA essay…so I snuck in his laptop one day and read it! It was honestly just OK. I know he is not a super strong writer, and it shows. Also, this was done during English class and a teacher has read it, it was for a grade, and I found a misspelling (ugh. Our school and teachers are great, not sure what happened here). I fixed the misspelling (it’s on Google docs, hasn’t been submitted to CA yet), closed the computer, and let it go. We are already having battles and stress about applications. I have to tell myself that if it negatively affects his app, then he wasn’t meant to go to that school.
I hope to have more oversight and involvement on the supplemental essays, which are required at his more desired (and selective) schools anyway. But I’m committed to just letting that one go…we have enough other stressors and struggles ahead with the supplements.
@TS0104 Thanks! I would not be able to NOT see the essays. I would lose my mind, lol. It seems the supplemental essays are easier since there is more direction in the questions. We’ll all get through this. Good luck. I like your attittude.
@homerdog makes an excellent point about having someone who does know your kid extremely well read the essay. My D had someone read hers, and they couldn’t follow the timeline. We had lived through it, so it made sense to us, but after the comment, realized it wouldn’t to someone not familiar with it. She ended up not using that topic/essay for other reasons, but that feedback made her a better essay writer for her future writing.
To directly answer OP, I thought my kid’s essays were decent but after I read in magazines or on internet supposedly great essays which helped some kids get into HYPSM etc., I was not moved that much by those essays and I thought my kid’s essays connected better. Most of the supposedly great essays sounded too contrived to show passion or intelligence or quirkiness. I usually like the essays which show the ability to connect to people or show sensibilities.
Having said this, I did read two or three essays which just blew me away so much that I would have accepted these kids even if they had 1000 on SATs. In this aspect, I AM for the holistic admission.
I also prefer essays that are more sincere and vulnerable, and most of the “great” examples I’ve read seemed professionally polished and didn’t really connect. But I really have no clue which kind adcoms prefer. Although kid’s English teacher said vulnerability is good.
In my post #87 - I meant does not your kid well vs knows your kid well
My son19’s essay came out fine. It told a nice story and mentioned some some of his interests and hobbies. It also showed he was a nice kid, which was one of the things he was trying to convey. It certainly wasn’t risky or even risqué, lol., but he didn’t need to write an essay like that. I don’t think what he wrote is an award winning essay, but you’d read it and think it was a cute story and that the writer was an all around good guy. So mission accomplished.
I just want to say, this is not something to worry about. If it seems solid, just leave it and let your kid’s own voice shine through.
Part of why I say this: One of my kids had a stellar essay, great ECs and challenging course load, high GPA. Her math scores didn’t quite hit the numbers the elite schools wanted. The essay did not put her “over the edge.”
I think that scenario only happens occasionally, when an admissions officer either just REALLY connects with your student, or they are already so sold on your student, that it is actually just a re-affirmation of why they like your student.
@Picapole I think a great essay rarely turns a no into a yes. But what it can do is set apart an applicant from 10 others with the same scores/stats etc. But it’s not like a great essay buys you 20 extra SAT points.