Ok here’s the backstory: I was between school A and school B. A was my top choice and when I visited i felt right at home - love the environment, perfect balance of fun and academics, great “fit”, prestigious, honors housing, etc. Only con was the insane price (and maybe being a small fish in a big pond). B was my safety. It’s a party school but I got into the honors college which makes it better I guess but I don’t like the environment (physical and student body wise i guess)and I don’t know if I’ll enjoy my time there as much. However I’m instate and got lots of scholarships.
I agonized over these two for so long and I don’t think I really slept for a month and a half because I was so stressed about this. come may 1 and I chose the cheap one. It broke my heart to say no to A and I am regretting my choice so much right now. Everytime someone asks me where I’m going I apparently subconsciously cringe. I’m not excited to go to college there. Everytime someone mentions school A i flinch and feel a mixture of sadness and emptiness inside. I have no pride for school B. Should I call A and beg them to take me back despite the cost? Should i transfer after back after freshman year to at least take advantage of some of my scholarships? Is it even worth it?
I plan on going to grad school for my masters but that won’t be until after working and traveling for a couple of years. The starting salaries for my major are about the same at both schools but is the “feel” or whatever worth it at A? My parents thankfully saved up a good amount so that I can go to A with not too crazy loans after four years, but if I go to school B I won’t have loans at all but even after considering this, I’m still attracted to A. Am I being a spoiled brat for taking the feel and environment into such high consideration at such an exorbitant cost? If i transfer after freshman year I’ll have little to no loans but that depletes my 529 so I’ll have to pay for grad school some other way, but again I’m not going right after undergrad anyways. Basically should I beg A to take me back, suck it up and stick with B all four years, or transfer after freshman year? I’m afraid that if i transfer I won’t have enough time to study abroad and do co ops and make friends and stuff. Please help. Roast me if you want to, I probably deserve it.
How much total loans would be required for A?
And how many years’ salary does that represent in your chosen major?
If for some reason you decide to change majors, do both schools have good alternative options?
Do you need to keep a certain GPA to keep all those scholarships at B? It’s easy to keep a 3.5 at some schools and very difficult at others.
Will you really need a masters in your chosen field?
Is 4 years at A worth 20 years of a more modest home/take fewer or no vacations/sticking with a job you hate?
If you go into your safety with the attitude of expecting it to be horrible, you will not get anything out of it. I say this from experience. I applied to four schools and got into my two safeties and that was it. Chose the one with the campus I liked better. It was disappointing. OH WELL.
I’m getting almost all A’s and a damn good education with research opportunities and an internship this summer, and I fully expect to find a full-time job before I graduate. There are – what is it, like 500 or 800 clubs here? You can find things to do. You can find opportunities. You can find challenging and intellectual classes. You can be so busy that you won’t have time to think about the other school. BUT ONLY IF YOU TRY.
It should be clear from my post history that I’m no rah-rah rabid fan of the university. This isn’t a glowing assessment fueled by a desire to make everyone go here. It’s as unbiased as I can make it, informed by the realities of your situation.
You can make this school work for you. You can come out with an amazing, grad-school-worthy GPA, with little debt, having participated in clubs and organizations and research you like. Or you can coast through four years and come out with nothing to show for it. It’s your decision and will be made by your work ethic and drive to succeed here.
“You can make this school work for you. You can come out with an amazing, grad-school-worthy GPA, with little debt, having participated in clubs and organizations and research you like. Or you can coast through four years and come out with nothing to show for it. It’s your decision and will be made by your work ethic and drive to succeed here.”
Very well said.
Taking on debt for undergraduate is almost always a bad idea. It can make graduate school not possible.
@hellastressed you said that you would likely go for a masters but after working “…and traveling for a couple of years”. If you take on a lot of debt for undergrad then you won’t be traveling. You will be living with your parents for a couple of years or more likely longer while working to pay off debt. If you have to live with your parents after graduation to pay off debt, then you job choices will be severely limited, and you might be stuck with a very long commute to work. After a while this will not feel so “prestigious”.
You can make a success out of either school. There will be strong professors, and probably some bad professors, at both schools. There will be potential friends and potential dates and potential broken hearts at both schools. There will be long nights studying at both schools.
Your attraction to school A is probably as much the name and “prestige” as anything else. Name and “prestige” can be very expensive. It is marketed to high school students by very sophisticated professional marketing people (and even the design of expensive buildings on campus can be part of this marketing campaign).
@bouders asked “How much total loans would be required for A? And how many years’ salary does that represent in your chosen major?”
These are very good questions. If the answer to the second question is “one years salary”, then expect that this will take multiple years of living with your parents to pay off. If the answer to the second question is “two years salary” then this much debt would be very painful for a very long time.
No need to feel like a spoiled brat. It is a big, difficult decision.
It’s hard to say without knowing family income and wealth, costs at the two schools, intended major etc., though I think the above post offers some good guidelines.
If you do decide to go to School B, please consider trying to go with the most positive attitude possible. If you arrive on move-in day thinking this place stinks, these people stink, then it will be much more of a challenge to meet and get to know people. Instead try to think of it as your new home. School B sounds like at least a relatively large public school. There will be amazing people there. Many will share your interests, loves, and passions. Embrace them, live and learn with them. It’s HOW you go to school, not WHERE you go to school.
I’ll note too that you have plans for the years after graduation. That’s great, and things may play out precisely that way. Sometimes they do. But often they don’t. Having fewer financial constraints and greater financial freedom may be really beneficial to things you may want to pursue. Good luck whatever you decide!
I am no expert, but you would most likely second guess yourself no matter which school you chose. Would you really be 100% happy in attending school A? You never know, but imagine spending all that money only to find out that school is not what you thought it would be. You are experiencing buyer’s remorse, which s natural, but like the others said, go in with the positive attitude. You will thank yourself in a few years when you see how many of your friends are suck with repaying huge loans.
Besides, it is probably too late to make the switch anyway, so don’t beat yourself up.
You’re right I should be positive and I’m trying very hard to be excited but I can’t seem to shake off the feeling that something’s very wrong… as for the debt question, If i transfer after a year I’ll probably be taking out like 15-20k at most in loans and my parents want me to take out some loans anyways for “the experience” and quite frankly I agree with them. If i go the four years at A, I’ll have to take out more of course but it won’t be over 50k
First, it is probably too late to change now. For better or worse you turned down college A. They will be offering that spot to someone else on the waitlist.
Second, you don’t need to decide about transferring now. Try to embrace your school with an open mind and heart. No need to think about transferring until midyear.
It’s hard not to have buyers remorse with a big decision like this. One thing I think is helpful both pre and post big choice is to to try to picture yourself 5, 10, even 15 years out from the choice. Which choice makes you happier? You can’t know for sure but I have been both burdened under massive debt and debt free and let me tell you debt free feels much much better and makes so many other choices possible.
It is hard when everyone around you is getting excited about college and everyone is asking you about your plans and you (very understandably) know that if you were telling people you were headed off to college A their eyes would get wide and they would congratulate you.
But remember, this stage of life when everyone is hyper focused on where you are headed to college is really short. No one can ever take away from you the fact that you got in to college A. Congratulations on that! If it helps feel free to tell people who ask you where you are headed something like this, “Well, I faced a tough choice between college A and College B. A is a fantastic place but B offered me a bunch of scholarships and I’m really excited about graduating debt free.” Or keep that thought to yourself but don’t forget it. Treasure that thought.
Debt free undergrad is a gift and it really will open up a world of possibilities to you if you embrace it.
“… and my parents want me to take out some loans anyways for “the experience” and quite frankly I agree with them.”
To me this is a bit like hitting yourself on the thumb intentionally with a hammer “for the experience”. If you hit yourself intentionally very softly you don’t really get the full experience. If you hit yourself hard, you will be sorry. I think that we have all had the experience of hitting ourselves with a hammer. However, I am sorry that I ever had this experience in the past, would prefer to avoid doing it again in the future, and figure that it will happen due to events beyond my control often enough that I don’t need to do it intentionally just for fun.
Dealing with debt is something that you will need to do at some point. However when this occurs you will be dealing with debt instead of doing other things that can also be educational, such as traveling and going to graduate school.
@DadTwoGirls I understand that intentionally taking loans sounds weird but I want the satisfaction that I helped pay for at least some of my college education, if that makes sense? The only reason I wouldn’t have to take loans for college B is because my “repayment” was through scholarships. Otherwise, if I had to pay full instate tuition I would still take out some loans even though my parents could easily pay for all of it. Based on current plans and starting salary estimates for my fields of interest I shouldn’t be pulling my hair out trying to repay everything
@mom23travelers I have heard of instances where people called back to basically beg for their spot back and it worked so I’m wondering if I should at least give it a shot haha
@DadTwoGirls I agree that the prestige of A does play a role and I should not and would not choose a school based on prestige alone. The thing is, I’m on the waitlist for some schools that are considered more prestigious than school A (and pricier too). Even though my parents would happily forfeit my current deposit and pay full freight just for the name brand school, I would still choose school A over any of my waitlist schools because I knew that I meshed with school A better than anywhere else. The only reason I’m still on those waitlists is because my parents want me to. That’s the part that really bothered me because then that means it’s not pure prestige driving my love for A but genuine interest, which is why I’m terrified that I turned it down
Many schools send emails that they are closing out your application or “sorry you didn’t accept but wish you well” but also include a line that says there is still time to accept their offer. Can’t hurt to ask, all they can do is say no.