Great points, am saving your response – thank you!
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Not directed at @midwestdad22 situation, but got me thinking.
I get this…and at the same time, I don’t. 
I guess it really depends on the kid - I just know some kids who can’t conceive of how much money $100k (for example) is - “I will just get loans”. And/or isn’t thinking long-term (about grad school, etc.)
My frugal DC would have probably picked the cheaper school just because it was cheaper - which isn’t necessarily the right choice.
Some kids need more advising than others. And some might need a hard “no” or “yes”.
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I told my kids they were not living in a dorm or apartment 
that was nicer than my house!
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Ha ha! It happens when you start looking at options for off campus apartments and everything is luxury or historic or close to campus…and they all end up being ridiculously priced. Could not be more thrilled that we just moved our college Senior into his post college home with friends with a kitchen and bathroom that are WAY worse than ours! This past year of his lux living with his own bedroom suite bigger than ours has been way too much for any college student.
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Agree. Asking a 17 year old to decide on their own, when they’ve no real concept of what these numbers mean in terms of lost opportunities, real cost of debt hanging over their heads for a few decades, etc … kind of assuming a general level of financial competence and/or wisdom that, in most kids, probably doesn’t exist.
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“Choose to use it as they see fit”.
Perhaps I should have added a bit more context to this line. Of course this was only after a long conversation about these very things you’ve mentioned. Anyone who has gone through this process of launching a kid into college knows how much thought and conversation goes into the decision.
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My son recently was accepted to Notre Dame engineering program. I’ve brainwashed this poor kid since birth to go to Notre Dame (my alma ). He also got into Berkeley applied mathematics major. In state vs 83k full boat at Notre Dame. Am I crazy to let him choose Berkeley over the best school in the country:)
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No - you are smart - unless he wants to be an engineer. There are certainly similarities but if he wants to be a certain type of engineer, probably not the best route.
Then you might consider a third program - where he can major in what he wants. Because no need to spend close to $83K.
But - as I say that - I know it’s a personal call.
Can you afford $83K without impacting your lifestyle?
If the answer is yes, how do you feel about spending $83K (plus regular life costs that are above COA)? And inflation.
Personally, I couldn’t - maybe you can. Stroking that check 2x a year would be hard.
But I’d send him to name any other school ahead of both - if and if my child wanted to study engineering. And there’s still time to find inexpensive and solid engineering schools. This is because - assuming he wants to be a MechE for example - the where matters little.
Best of luck.
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Does he want to do math or engineering?
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Berkeley. No questions asked.
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He doesn’t really know yet.
He’ll have an easier time changing majors at ND, but the money you save at Cal could turn into a lot more money for both of you if you have the cash. Can you pay for ND without leverage?
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So, going into engineering from applied math is not quite as straightforward as an ABET accredited engineering program. HOWEVER… looking at internship programs for JPL, NASA, SpaceX, and so on – they do accept interns with applied math, physics, etc for their engineering internships – I don’t know what the acceptance rate is, but I think if you go the Berkley route (which honestly sounds pretty darn amazing), I would work hard on getting engineering internships. It doesn’t need to be the ones I listed – I just put it out there b/c it shows that engineering internships are available to applied math majors.
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I can pay…
But do you feel that money could be used better elsewhere (ex: grad school, down payment on a house for him after college, your retirement, money for him to spend summers in location outside of home/campus if offered an amazing internship, travel)? The fact that you are even posting the question makes me feel this has crossed your mind.
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That’s step one.
If the answer is yes ( and it is), the next question is do you want to pay ?
Here’s an example - let’s say you applied to Arizona now. It’s going to be cheap (merit based on UW GPA), it’s strong in engineering or he can do math. You’d be in b4 May 1.
If it was engineering I wanted, unless something about UND besides your legacy mattered, that’s what I’d be doing. Sorry to say - it’s not the best school in the country :).
If you don’t know the major, what are his odds of transferring in at UCB. If easy, then go UCB. If not, I’d find another.
What type of engineering? If MECHE you need ABET. The prestige of the school isn’t critical.
Not telling you to add a third but when I look at your question, you clearly aren’t comfortable with the expense of UND, at least in comparison to UCB.
So why not find a similar school, that will certainly provide you the opportunity for the same if not better engineering outcome as UND, and save you a boatload.
Just a different perspective. You love UND because of your tie - but in any case is it really the best choice ?
Only you can answer and that goes back to -do you want to spend $83k++ each year. And it will be more.
Good luck.
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Yes. All of these are great options. I am trying to eliminate the “cost” of attending from the equation. I know how special a place Notre Dame is on the moral development of a young adult but I don’t want my bias to influence him as it is his life. He has earned the right to choose. I’m just struggling on accepting to end to my dream for him . It’s silly, I know.
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Great insight!
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Oh u want him to go money be damned.
Yes he is not you. This is most important for every parent.
If he prefers UCB, then that’s where he should go but he does need to know the limits of his choice if he decides to pivot to another major.
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This is not silly at all!! You only want the best for him and you are looking at things beyond academics. These 2 campuses are polar opposites. I am sure he will thrive at either place.
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