Dilemma with neighbor's music

Hoping for some suggestions on how to handle a situation. My husband and I live in a townhome community with 4-6 connecting units per building. One of our adjoining neighbors is a couple around our age. As each block of buildings has the same floor plan, most of us have our furniture set up in similar way; my LR sofa wall is against this particular neighbors TV/stereo wall.

While we are not friends with this couple, we are neighborly. We will chat if we happen to be outside at the same time, get each others packages if one is out of town, and would call them first if we needed help with something. The first 4 year, I never heard anything from their unit, until about a year ago. I am thinking they got a new sound system and listen to music often. This is not blasting rock music, but music that the bass can be heard when I am sitting on the sofa, even if I have the TV on. When my daughter was in town for Thanksgiving, she could hear it in the guest bedroom, and it kept her awake, as it was on later than normal; I think they had visitors in town. Twice I could hear it in my bedroom at night when I was going to bed early. I am very sensitive to sounds when I am trying to go to sleep, so this was a more “me” thing; it wasn’t that late at night.

I think this couple would be mortified that their music bothers us. As it is on almost all weekend, and maybe during the week, but I am not home to hear it, I want to say something to them, but not sure how to approach it. For all I know, my TV disturbs my neighbors on the other side of me, especially since my husband has to turn it up louder than I would like to hear it!

Do I let it go, or say something? How best to approach them if we say something? I would prefer my husband talk to the husband as they see each other more. I rarely see the wife unless we are outside when the grandkids are here; I usually only speak to the husband.

Is there any type of noise ordinance in your units? Still awkward to ask. You need a group get together where “someone” brings up the idea of the unit “thin walls” and does anyone have trouble hearing noises from other units - maybe they would get the hint!

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I agree the best place to start is with any kind of noise ordinance specifics.

I wouldn’t hint – I would be very direct.

“Sorry to have to mention this, but your music is keeping us awake at night. Do you mind listening with blue tooth any time after 9pm?” – or something along those lines.

Technology is now available to listen to music or the TV without bothering the neighbors.

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“I’m sure you’re not aware, but recently we can hear the bass from your music in our unit, and it has been disturbing our sleeping and TV viewing. I may be somewhat overly sensitive to sounds, but I would really appreciate the volume down after _______________ pm. Thank you for your consideration.”

We had an (different) issue with upstairs neighbors in a previous condo building we lived in. We did not know them at all. We wrote a note to them pseudo identifying ourselves (“we live in the unit below you”), that was similarly worded to what I wrote above. Problem immediately solved.

I get the challenge of saying something F2F. But, that might be better since you do, sort of, know them. But, if you don’t want the F2F, “confrontation,” write a note.

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We have very heavy metal doors in our apartment building. When D2 was living with me she used to come home late at night and would let the door close (slam) behind her. My next door neighbor told me how it was bothering him. I apologized to him and passed on the message to D2. She was embarrassed and tried to close the door gently.
This year my other side neighbor let her young relatives stay at her apartment for few months. They were letting the door slam behind them when they were going in and out of the apartment. I wrote them a polite note to ask them to close the door more softly. They gladly complied. They didn’t know I could hear it in my apartment.
I think you should let your neighbor know that their sound is bothering you. Most people want to be good neighbors.

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I like this!

And if you include the time it’s not like you’re asking them to NEVER play their music a little louder - but after a certain time of night.

They truly may just not realize how loud it is.

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I really don’t think it is that loud, just how maybe speakers are on the shared wall. Again, I think they would be modified to know it bothers us. Until Thanksgiving when it kept my daughter from falling asleep, I really only noticed it on the weekend, and then, not at a late hour.

If there is a noise ordinance, I am not aware of it. I do know a previous neighbor 2 units down asked if the people between us kept us up at night. They were a young couple, and according to the complaining neighbor, their tv was blasting at night. I heard nothing, the TV wall was a shared wall with the other unit, not mine.

I know we need to say something, I just feel badly complaining. When we had a dog that barked more than he should, I had asked them to let me know if they could hear him, as at the time, I didn’t know if the sound carried. They were very nice and said they never heard said dog; don’t know if that is true or not!

Based on what you said (about them being neighborly), I don’t think you need to resort to noise ordinances - which is like saying - we’re ratting you out or you’re breaking the law.

How about - hey, as we are share walls, for whatever reason we now hear your music, and it keeps us up.

Would you mind turning it down a notch?

99% of people would be like - wish you told us sooner - sorry about that. And will turn it down a bit.

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Agree. One of our kids is a musician. He regularly practiced after dinner. We never thought twice about it. But the neighbor on one side asked if we could at least have all the windows closed, or have the kid stop at 9 in the evening…because it was keeping them awake.

Of course we closed the windows and the kid stopped playing before 9.

Funny…when this happened, the neighbor on the other side asked if everything was OK. They missed hearing the music.

It’s very possible your neighbors did get a new system, and have no idea how it transmits to others.

I would be kind and direct.

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