Dire family situation. Need help

Parents Forum
1

<p>I am having alot of family problems as of late. My father first became unemployed during the end of my junior yr, and causing the house that I live in to be under foreclosure. As a result, I got a job for the summer and used all my earnings to help pay for the bills, and even for the mortgage(futile attempt). I feel so insecure in applying to top colleges with this problem as well as my mediocre stats( in other post). </p>

<p>Also, in the beginning of my senior yr, my father had kidney failure. As a result his and my entire family's lifestyle has changed for the worse. I take care of my father knowing that he needs me at this time. Also all my college visits that I had planned for the year had to be cancelled. I take him to his biweekly dialysis appointments and make sure that he is taking his medications, etc. I also help my brother out with his work as he has a learning disability and my father is often too weak to teach him. </p>

<p>I desperately want to get into a good college. I have worked hard in high schook, and have, on the whole, been a very caring and mature person during this crisis. Do you think I should aim for the schools listed in my previous post? Will admissions officers understand? If I am rejected from all my schools, my parents want to move back to Pakistan as we have more family support and money. Please help me. Thank you.</p>

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<p>I think that since it sounds like your father is extremely ill, possibly fatally, and your family is depending on your economically and for help with your father and brother, it would be best if you lived at home and commuted to college. While going to a top college is a wonderful dream to have, sometimes dreams should be put aside in order to cope with family emergencies. You can go to an excellent college later after your family situation is resolved.</p>

<p>Also, you have not mentioned if you're international. If you are, it will be very difficult for you to get substantial financial aid from most US colleges. If you are not international, perhaps your family could move back to Pakistan, where they can get economic and other support while you can go to college here with major scholarships.</p>

<p>From your previous post:</p>

<p>stats : 92 uw, 93.44 w
ACT: 28
SAT IIs: Chemistry 700, math 1c 650
SAT: taking in January
Hardest available courseload and senior yr courses include
AP Calculus AB
AP Physics
AP French
AP Gov
AP Eco
AP Eng
honors Research Projects</p>

<p>Recs: both are very strong and show my true colors. One is a Cornell alum and the other is a Queens College Alum</p>

<p>ECS: varsity letters XC- 10-12, Track- 10-12
junior varsity football- 9,10
Vice President and treasurer of Key Club
Active Member in School Community Service Club
National Honor Society - 11,12
Am currently doing research on pediatric diabetes at local hospital ( I am a diabetic)
Events Started:
Beaded necklaces- My mother and I make beaded necklaces, bracelets, and earrings to raise money for the Hurricane Katrina victims and medical research in diabetes, cancer, etc. It has turned out very profitable for the Key Club and has become one of the major sources of revenue for that club.
“Students Who Love”- I organized and ran this event in which toys, games, and other products were collected for the Cornell Presbyterian hospital in New York. It was a month long event and the entire school participated. In total, over 150 toys and products have been collected and will be delivered to the Institute before Christmas. </p>

<p>300 volunteer hours at local hospital; recieved Outstanding volunteer award
Took 2 laboratory courses in Cold Spring Harbor laboratories. </p>

<p>Awards: Who’s Who American America’s High School Students
National Honor Roll
National Society of High School Scholars</p>

<p>Research: did research at local university but was forced to leave after mentor used radiation
started and continueing new research project on diabetes</p>

<p>Also, during the end of my junior yr, my father lost his job. As a result I worked during the summer to help pay the bills, and the mortgage at a physicians clinic.
During the beginning of senior yr, my father had kidney failure and was unable to take care of himself. As a result, I have been taking care of him by taking him for dialysis etc.</p>

<p>Do I have any shot at these schools? My family situation is terrible and I dont want it to affect my decisions and chances. Thank you!</p>

3

<p>I also notice that these are the colleges that you're applying to:
NYU, Cornell, Chicago, Duke, Penn, etc
Hey guys, I was wondering whether you could evaluate my chances at these schools along with boston college, bu, stonybrook, bing, wustl, umaryland, jhu, and gw"</p>

<p>NYU is not a good choice as they are stingy with $ and your stats don't seem strong enough to get merit aid from them.</p>

<p>I think that all of the schools except perhaps U Md., Stonybrook and Bing will be reaches for you. I think that even if you are a US citizen, it may be extremely difficult for you to get the large amount of financial aid that you need from any of the colleges unless you are able to commute.</p>

<p>I also suggest that you apply for local scholarships that you can learn about through your GC. Your dire economic situation and the hard work you've put into supporting your family can help you get outside scholarships that could make the financial load easier for you.</p>

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<p>My grandparents in Pakistan are willing to finance my education in the states, so I dont think thatpaying for college will be a problem. However, I will try and apply for outside scholarships to help relieve the burdens. </p>

<p>My parents have also suggested that I apply to these schools as they want me to receive the best education that I can possibly get. </p>

<p>Also, I am a first generation US citizen.</p>

<p>I am curious to know, however, whether these colleges will at least accept me with my current stats and situation, or whether I should not apply at all. I have already registered for the january sats and I feel confident that I will score higher than my act conversion( 2100+ according to practice tests).</p>

5

<p>I am very sorry to hear about your situation. You should seriously consider returning to Pakistan if you have the possibility of better support than you have here. You may be able to apply to colleges from Pakistan. If your house is under foreclosure, you risk eviction anytime. Your father's medical bills are going to go on rising; does the rest of your family have health insurance of any kind?
If you are able to stay in the US, I concur with NSM that at this stage, it would be better if you attended a community college or a local 4-year college as a commuting student. This would reduce the room and board costs and allow you to continue assisting your father and younger brother. If your father's health improves, you could then seek to transfer to another college.
I also agree with NSM that you should seek outside scholarships to help defray your college costs.</p>

6

<p>I will take that into strong consideration. I am thinking of going to a state university for 1 or 2 years and then transferring to a different. </p>

<p>However, I also would like the option to see if the schools that I currently want to apply to actually accept me. If, in fact, my father's health gets better, and he is able to find a job, I would like the option of going to one of these universities. However, if his health continues to deteriorate, then I will go to a local university. </p>

<p>Shall I do this instead and weigh my options out in April?</p>

7

<p>You certainly should wait until April, when you know the results of your applications to weigh your options. Meanwhile, do take the SAT in January if the colleges to which you are applying accept the January scores. I agree with NSM that NYU seems stingy with scholarship money. Chiacago, Duke, WUSTL, Penn are all reaches. There are some colleges that offer an excellent education but are not quite so difficult to get into. If you read up on the list of acceptances (the top 2 threads) and of merit money, you will see some good possibilities that may not be so far from your home.</p>

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<p>I do not want to give false hope, but I know of a similar situation. I worked with a woman who's husband was on dialysis. Her son was an oos freshman at an expensive public university. She was additionally upset that her son wanted to major in theatre. Anyway, a family member called the financial aid office and explained. They gave him a full ride for the rest of his undergraduate time there. The mother also had conversations with one of her son's professors (I do not know who initiated that), where the professor tried to convince her that this was the only time that her son would have the opportunity to study what he wanted to study, and that she should allow him to major in theatre. I think it worked too! She came into work and asked me what I thought after telling me this story. Bottom line is that this young man was able to continue to study at his university, despite the lack of family funds.</p>

9

<p>Do you live in NYC? Because CUNY may be a good option, they have some good programs there and financial aid, and you could transfer from there to another school later on. I think tuition is reasonably priced. You could commute and then see how your family situation progresses. Also you could consider Queens College, Tuoro, and Yeshiva, they have good programs at all of them. NYC has many choices. Good Luck!</p>

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<p>SUNY at Stony Brook is an excellent state school not to be sneered at. I went there myself years ago. A number of friends of mine who attended at that time have gone on to be very successful... one is an MD, one became a researcher (who went on to get an advanced degree from a HYPSM grad school), and one became a director of a lab at a well known corporation. Another friend was hired as an engineer at Northrop Grumman. </p>

<p>It is a big school so you have to be very motivated since you won't get much personal attention in introductory courses. I am assuming you are a New York resident and could benefit from the reasonable instate tuition. And it's not so far from NYC by train, if that is where you live. I also agree with the above poster's advice to check out CUNY.</p>

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<p>Tell us the city you live in, if possible.</p>

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<p>I'm afraid that I am not knowledgeable enough to be able to offer advice to iwannatopcollege; I just wanted to add that he/she has said that the cost of tuition is not an issue, and I noticed that some of the advice given doesn't take this into consideration.</p>

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<p>Your school list has too many reaches IMO. There are many GOOD schools which are rather inclusive and will give you great education.
If you want to give your best shot to two of your reaches, by all means, go ahead but also be realistic. Whether it is right or wrong, colleges will not care about your problems in life.</p>

14

<p>should I still both applying to my reach schools? I know that Cornell, Chicago, Duke, and Penn are reaches. Should I include NYU? I dont understand why colleges wouldnt care about personal problems, especially if it has adverse effect on your gpa etc. Anyways I really appreciate your thoughts and suggestions.</p>

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<p>I guess I will throw in my 2 cents. I think it would be helpful for your guidance counselor and/or your teacher recs to include in his/her/their evaluation(s) the hardships you and your family have endured and how you have dealt with them. I do believe that this will be considered by some schools</p>

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<p>I really hope so columbiamom. I have already mentioned it to my guidance counselor and she has been a tremendous help. She is doing the best that she can do. She has given me fee waivers, etc so that the cost of admissions wouldnt be a burden to my family. I really do hope some schools consider my situation. I truly hate bringing this up. I detest being pitied and want to be judged on my academics and merit. However, I thought I should just mention it to show that I overcame adversity etc. I will continue supporting my family, etc if infact those colleges accept me. They want me to apply to those schools as well. My father has even told me to not let his illness upset my future plans etc. </p>

<p>Thank you so much for your help. I have learned and gathered information from all of you and am thoroughly grateful to meet you. Your advice will be taken full advantage of and I will try to approach the situation with cautiousness and prudence. I will also take the sats in Jan for the final time. Thank you all.</p>

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<p>iwannatopcollege, first I want to empathize with the very difficult situation you and your family are facing. I guess I am unclear why your grandparents would agree to pay for your education but not pay the mortgage on your parents' house to keep you from being evicted. In any case, I am a firm believer that there is nothing more important than family, so I concur with the other posters that I think you should return to Pakistan with your family for a year or so (take a gap year) to support them AND to improve your application.</p>

<p>I do think you need to take a much clearer look at yourself and your statistics in comparison to the statistics of specifically Asian students (your ethnic group in which you are 'lumped" with all Asians) who are accepted to the colleges on your list. Very frankly, your GPA, ACT and SAT II scores aren't anywhere near the mean scores accepted to the institutions on your list, and I suspect you will be rejected by all. If you can afford the application fees to them with the understanding that this is the most likely outcome, then, by all means, apply. I think a wiser course would be to either a) choose a college that more closely fits your statistics and to which you are more likely to be admitted or b) go back to Pakistan and work you tail off to improve your chances. Study HARD for your standardized tests and try to get them into range. Take classes by correspondence and get As to bring up your GPA. Good luck.</p>

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<p>Wow quiltguru, are my chances really that bad at those schools? If I take the sats and if its in the 2100+ range, then do I have a decent shot at those schools? I thought my ec's would somewhat make up for it. I guess not. </p>

<p>Yeh, im seriously contemplating on returning to Pakistan. However, will I really be rejected by all those schools? I thought I would have a decent chance at Chicago, Cornell, NYU and a good chance at stonybrook, bing, university of maryland, etc. Im really worried now.</p>

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<p>I think you have a good chance at Stonybrook, Binghamton and UMD, but the others are reaches. Your ECs are excellent but they are not outstanding; they cannot make up for the 28ACT. If you score higher on the January SAT, you will have a better chance. </p>

<p>I also agree that the more pressing issue is the possible eviction from your house. I don't understand why your grandparents are not helping with this but are willing to help with your education.</p>

20

<p>Well, unfortunately, my parents are hesistant to tell my grandparents that the house is under forclosure. However, my grandparents had agreed to pay for my fees long before all this occurred. </p>

<p>If I am able to raise my sat score to about a 2150, do you think my chances at some of those schools will improve, and possibly lead to an acceptance?</p>